Letting Go
by BoomDarh
Summary: It's summer and Seth is not spending it in La Push for a change. FULL SUMMARY INSIDE :D Seth/Reader. Embry/Reader. NOT YAOI XD Contains Lemon. Rated for mature.
1. All grown up

**Hello, this is the author speaking. Welcome to my story **_LETTING GO_** !**

**This is as you can see a Reader/- story, but this is not an insert. **

**The main character will be you my dear readers, but I have already went ahead and made up an alias. I don't hope this is dissapointing, I just work the best this way. So go ahead and read of your new you ^^**

**Name: **Michelle Ryann.

**Nickname: **Miki.

**Age: **19.

**Hair: **Middle back long, Light brown with darker hues.

**Eyes: **Burgundy - A reddish brown.

**Weight: **55 kg.

**Height: **160 cm.

**Personality traits: **Like most girls you hate spiders, but you are not afraid to pick them up or show them hell. You don't really have a favorite animal, but respect all living beings. You love the legends of your tribe and got several books about them. You are only half Quileute which makes your skin a softer tan than the others. You're a friendly being who tend to become a little too overly happy and hyper to times. Your history case of love is pretty wide and you got decent knowlegde in sexual terms as well, already have had your fair share. You are not really looking for mister right, but like most girls you dream of true love too.

**That was what I could give of informations about your Alias. Again I hope this do not leave you dissapointed ^^ Please enjoy the story and leave a review (Or four) ; Those makes me happy ;D**

**Btw: Seth is 17 in the start of this story and Embry is 21.**

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**Letting Go.**

Is never easy.

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Seth/Reader - Embry/Reader

**Summary**: It's summer and Seth is not spending it in La Push for a change. He is with an old friend who just got her own appartment. Falling in love with her wasn't planned, since she is not his imprint. But she knows the stories and secrets of the Quileutes and they agree she can take it when it happens. But little did Seth expect that he is the one who has to let go of her.

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**Chapter One: **

**All grown up.**

It was just a usual day in Seattle. A little cloudy outsite, but the sun would shine trough once in a while. The weather reports alerted rain later in the afternoon, so you got the feeling it was better to start early. Just to get it over with. You had just left home a few days ago. Saying bye to your parents for the first time. Your appartment wasn't really that fancy or big, but it was home. You had a livingroom with a kitchenette in the farest corner, a bathroom with a tub, very important and the main reason you chose this place, and two rooms, the biggest now officially your bedroom. The other was still stuffed with boxes you had yet to unpack. And that was what you were doing. You had an appointment in a few hours and you hoped the rain would wait til you got back home again.

You rustled trough the remaining boxes, picking out the most important and put them in their rightful places. You had to see if you could empty this room enough to make place for a mattress. You were quite excited, it had been a while since you had spend more than a day with your best friend from Junior High. Two years to be exact. But you both had vacation and he had agreed to come and stay over.

Seth Clearwater was only a few years younger than you. But taking it you both lived in the reservation of the Quileutes and the classes were limitted, you both entered the same one. You still remembered the fuss there had been, since his sister Leah had been in the exact same class as well. Though she was older than you too. You liked Leah. You and her had been friends first, until her brother came along. Seth was easy to be with, someone you felt completely relaxed around and you couldn't say you ever discriminated between friends. Girls and Boys could be just as good friends as Girls and Girls or Boys and Boys. Of course it was always a bit different and to times even akward. Funny enough that wasn't the case with Seth.

You remembered when you lost the contact with him, it had been shortly after you left the rez with your parents and moved to Seattle. The drive was just a little above Three hours in car and Four with train, but Seth just stopped calling and he wouldn't pick up when you did. Non of them did. Leah or their mother Sue. Later you had learned of Harrys departure and then you understood. At least that was the conclusion you had made, one which was good enough for you. You knew how it was to loose a parent. Your mother no longer resided among you anymore, of course you had been but a little girl when the accident stroked. And your parents had been seperated, you father already remarried. His wife was now your new mother. You couldn't help it, you really loved her. But that aside, Seth even joked a few times he would have to find someone for his Momma as well. Which wasn't hard when Chief Charlie came around.

The sharp chimming of the door bell brought you out of your little daze. You realized you had been to engrossed in your memories when the chimming got worse. The person had probaly been standing outsite for a while and was growing impatient. You shouted a "Coming!" before you shoved your stuff aside and hurried out of the room to the little hallway at the entrance. Not bothering to check the door hole, you unlocked the door and swung it open, almost stubbing your toe in the action. A way too familiar grin and two strong arms, as they wrapped around you into a tight hug, greeted you. Your eyes widened in disbelief, but the need or air was a little more important and you were placed back, safe on the floor.

"S-Seth?" Just a little confusion laced your voice, but the apparant happiness was more dominate and the boy in front of you chuckled low. Speaking of which, his voice was definitely deeper than you remembered. You had also noticed in the telephone, but above such a distance you knew you couldn't rely too much on that. However it was obviously not the only thing changed about your friend. You clearly remembered the last time you saw him. He had been just 15 and almost two heads lower than you. His body was lean and he looked just like every other kid on his age. Aside from his dark red skin and almost golden brown eyes and mushy black hair, everything about Seth now had changed. Before you stood a.. god. Okay scratch that. But there nearly did! He was over a head taller than you, his body not lean but.. Buff! Like he had been taking way too many steroids, which you were a little afraid was the case. It wasn't unpleasant to look at, hell. The boy was wearing a casual white T-Shirt, but the muscles were shining trough way too aparant, and his jeans were a little too tight in the right places.

When the boy- sorry- _Man_, suddenly grinned even wider, his white teeth almost glimmering in contrast with his dark skin and his brows ached in a playful way, you realized what you were doing. You were ogling. A furious blush sprang to your cheeks and you were almost positive drool was running down your chin. Quickly whipping your mouth just to be sure, you stepped aside just barely avoiding to crash with a wall as you stuttered, since that was the best you could muster at the time being.

"I.. I w-wasn't expecting you s-so soon!" Hell, you weren't expecting him at all, hadn't the deal been _you_ would pick him up at the train station in... An hour from now? Seths clear laughter echoed in the hallway for a while as he shook his head and stepped inside. Effortless closing the door behind him and placed a warm hand on your shoulder. Woah, make that a _hot _hand. He was still grinning as he spoke, that deeper strong voice almost send shivers down your spine and you felt like backing up against the wall or fleeing to your balcony - cause you had one of those too.

"Yeah I know, but I was able to catch an early train and thought; 'Seth, lets track Miki down and surprise her!'" There was clear amusement in his tone and you almost got annoyed just of that. If it hadn't been for his warm eyes locked on yours you would definitely have smacked his arm.

"And how did you find my adress? I don't remember I-" He cut you off with a shake of his head.

"No prob! You know that Adress books are invented? And you still got that same boring name; Michelle Ryann." You narrowed your eyes of him, but decided it was best just to sigh it off. Though it was a little hard for you to imagine Seth had searched trough Adress books just to find yours, and hang on a sec- ... You just moved, it wasn't more than 2 days ago since you changed the adress, there was no way that- Hm, maybe it was best not to think too much over that. Expecially since he was still grinning and you didn't expect even if you asked he would tell you the whole truth anyways. The warmth from his hand left you and when you actually registered he was already of of the room and inside the next. His eyes was wandering around, like he checking for possible dangers than looking at your home. Wow, great.

"So, what do you think? Quite a great place eh?" You shot him a grin of your own when he decided to look your way. One you immediately regretted when he ached a brow again, his smile way too seductive for your taste, but you did good in hiding it. You never wished he _ever_ had to see you ogle at him again, though he was extremely hot, and he knew it. Shoot.

"Hm, 'S not that bad, but..." You eyes narrowed just even more as he gave you that suspicious look, his hand raised as he waved it around. Looking like he was calculating something, his lips pursed.

"But?" You voice was almost too icy and definitely immiting danger, just a small warning for him not to speak bad about your precious first home.

The way you glared at him made him laugh, his body shaking soft with vibration as he held on to the window sill for balance.

"Oh relax! If you like this place, there's nothing wrong with it. You shouldn't care bout what I say, right?" His eyes were gleaming playful again, his brows still ached and that annoying irresisteable grin played across his lips. Well he had a point, but you just pursed your lip and gave him your best pathetic pouty puppy face.

"Alright, alright! This place is awesome, absolutely perfect!" The sarcasm wasn't hard to detect, but you let it go and clapped your hands almost in a silly way, now smiling and beaming at him.

"Yay! I think so too!" That was when you both broke out in laughter, Seth grapping your hands to scoope you in or another bone crushing hug. But to your surprise his embrace was gentle and you felt his nose in your hair. Almost as if he was inhaling your scent. You was a little tense, yes you had hugged like this before, a little longer than usual. But that was before his body made you think dirty thoughts. Something that made you look at him slightly different than before. You felt his hand play in you hair, curling some locks around a single finger before he let it fall back down again in a soft bouncing manner. You hands were itching, you wanted to run them all over his back, and his chest, to feel him up and- Shock replaced every emotion when you felt his hand on your lower back, dangerously close to your butt for your taste. Not that this didn't cause ever so sweet sensations, it was just.. So wrong. Clearing you throat as to tell him this was quite enough, you heard his soft humm before he pulled away, both his hands on your shoulders instead and he was still just smiling at you. Much kinder now than before though. Even his eyes.

You felt your face heat up again and pushed away from him before it got noticeable. You had already turned you back to him and held you hand against your chest, desperately trying to calm down your racing heart beat. You almost jumped when he laughed again and spun around to look at him. He hadn't heard it right? D'oh! Well of course he hadn't, that would require super hearing or him being way too close, which you wasn't planning anytime soon.

The next few hours went without that much trouble. There was a few more embarrassing situations, but you were slick enough to get out of them or turn them around. It was just insane how he made you feel. And once in a while he would make sure his body brushed against yours some way or another. It was getting hard to avoid those fantasies that started to form around him. It was like this was a game. Like he seriously enjoyed drawing these reactions from you alwhile he acted innocent and obvlious. And he probaly did enjoy it, if that permanent grin of his was anything to go by. You just didn't understand, maybe you didn't want to understand. Understand why he did this. Was it really just a game?

Seth had been nice and helped you pack away the rest of the stuff. Now only a few more boxes remained in the room as the two of you had brought the empty ones down in the cellar. You got your own lockable store away room and you were using it nicely. Now you were sitting in you oversized fluffy couch, Seth had been naughty and convinced you there was enough room for the both of you - which there was - and made you sit in his lap. His big arms wound tight around your waist as he looked around you to watch the television. The show that was playing was one of your favorites, a comedy show with lots of laugh, but you couldn't concentrate to say not at all. The vibrations Seth gave you from his soft chuckling was only adding fuel to the just started fire. You didn't feel like two friends hanging out at all. Not only because you was seated in his lap with no moving away possibilities at all. Not only the way his arms held you close, but also his legs where more or less entwined with yours. It caused you to gulp lightly, which luckily went unnoticed or he was either just keeping up the mask of obvliousness. It was really starting to get to you. You wanted to be annoyed at him, and push him away. But it was hard when all you could feel was the sweet arousal forming in your lower abdomen. It was too much. He was your best friend and you weren't supposed to think of him in this way. But if he knew, he obliously didn't seem to mind it much the way his arms just tightened further around you and forcefully dragged you down until your back were flush against his chest. His warm fingers were trailing a slow path from your lower arm to your upper and down again to your wrist, before they just did it all over again.

The TV show had long stopped now, not that you could brag about noticing. Your thoughts too far away to stay coherent. He was playing a dangerous game. You had to fight the urges to spin around and crush your lips to his. Rejection was the last thing you could handle at the moment. If there just was a way to find out what he wanted, a way that didn't cause you to have a heart break the day vacation ended and he had to leave. Seriously, what was he thinking?! Touching you like this, in a so _not _innocent way.

It was already dark outsite. The dull noises of the still awake city sounding in the distance and sometimes too close for your liking. Though to be honest, all you could concentrate on right now was the soft sound of his breathing, and the uneven of your own. When his hand clutched your tigh, you had to fight back a moan. He started to caress the clothed flesh a little too intimate and you started to tremble. He didn't seem to notice that either, cause he kept going. His other hand joining on the other leg and subconciously you rested your head back on his shoulder. A gasp tore from your lips when you felt his warm lips on your neck. You was about to burst forward in an attempt to get off of this too tempting young man, but his hands held you in place and he suckled light on your skin. Your heart was treathening to burst from your chest and your breathing became soft pants. You wanted to smack him when he smirked, his lips curling against your skin and his carressing hands increased in their molesting. Moving further down your legs, massaging trough the fabric of you light blue jeans only to go straigth back up way too close to your center. You wanted to tell him to stop. To stop before this became something neither of you would be able to stop. But your words betrayed you, no sound came out from your parted lips beside soft moans, which only seemed to eager him on.

His hands left your tighs and volunteered up higher to the hem of your shirt. Of course this was the perfect day not to wear a bra, oh yay.

The ringing of the phone saved you, and you were so happy and so relived you had taken your time to connect it though it had taken you almost half a day to get the shit working. Your reason to get up and answer it seemed good enough, because he had no choice than letting you go. You swore you saw the disapointment on his face and the way his lips became a thin line, but you was too busy to leave the room and thank your savior. Had you and Seth been on a different level and not just friends, this would have made you angered, but you grapped the phone and pushed the green button.

"Hey its Miki!" Okay, maybe you sounded a little too eager, but you were finally able to calm down your beating heart and cure the flush from your features. Not to talk about your body, you could still feel the burning from his lips.

"It's Leah." Seths sister sounded beyond pissed and that actually made you blink a few times. Normally you would greet someone politely, or well. This is Leah we talk about.

"Oh hey, what can I do for you?" You noticed when Seth came up beside you, but honestly did your best just to ignore him completely, secretly wishing he would keep his hands away from you. This was your safe spot, and he better not invade it.

"Seth promised to call when he got there." She only spoke what was needed, which was a typical Leah trait and you shot a glare at Seth. Okay it wasn't completely his fault, you had both been engrossed in talking about the old days as well had you forced him to help you out with what was left to do. Without further words you told Leah bye and handed him the phone. It was his lecture and to be honest you didn't want to get involved. He gave a sigh before he greeted his sister and you hurried out of the room. Determined to find some peace on the couch now you could enjoy it alone.

Half an hour was what it took before Seth returned. There had been a bit yelling, but it was mostly trough the phone. You had ditched the TV shows and instead played a DVD. It was a sweet movie of friendship and love. But also comedy. Humor was _very _important. At least for you. The way you took out all the space on the couch, or at least most of it, was indicating enough for Seth and he got the hint. With a scowl he sat down in the chair across from the table, not even bothering to look at the screen as his attention was completely on you.

"Michelle..." Uh oh. Everytime Seth used your formal name, it always meant trouble in some kind of way. You pretended not to hear him as you laughed along with the movie in a silly way. But again he said your name, this time louder and more annoyed. Sneaking a peek at him, you blinked your eyes innocently. Which only caused him to glare before he heaved another sigh.

"Maybe I should have stayed home. You act more or less like I am a nuisance." Wait, what? What was he saying? Well he was a nuisance, or no. He wasn't. He was just hot and hard to ignore. Expecially when he kept getting a feel on you everytime the oppotunity proved itself. You eyes widened as you stared at him, disbelief covering your whole face and you shot up from the couch before you knew it. Staggering over and probed down on his lap. Your legs straddling him as you pushed him back into the lean of the chair.

"Look mister. You are the one who has been coming on at me ever since you sat your damn foot inside my door. Touching and licking and I dunno what. If your sister hadn't called I would probaly be screaming your name by now as you pound me into obvlion." The way you said that just caused his eyes to widen ever so slightly, his hands tightened on the arms of the chair all by themself and his mouth fell slightly agape. It didn't help that a soft blush was adorning your cheeks, it was hard even for you not to be affected by your own words and for a moment you regretted saying them. Regretting you ever left the couch. A smile broke from his lips as he ached one brow, his eyes immediately gleaming with playfulness. And now you completely regretted ever being born.

"Who is coming on at who now?" That damned smirk never left and his hand gots bold as they dissapeared from the chair arms and wound around your waist, pulling you up closer against his chest. Taunt marks almost popped from your head as you groaned agitated. Damn. Damn. Damn. If you had just staid put on your lazy bum by the couch, you wouldn't be in this position, and clearly you just lost the upperhand in this situation.

"W-Well..." It didn't matter, nothing you could say now would remove that grin from his face and he would just turn around your words for his own good, you were sure of that. As his hands graced your hips, you knew the point of no return was approaching fast. It was hard not to notice Seths bulgding arousal, seeing it as you were almost grounding against it. When he rolled his hips into yours a hot moan spilled from your lips and you nearly lost your balance. Your grap was tight on his shoulder, but ever so slightly you moved your arms to wrap them around his neck as he rolled his hips again. The friction was delicious, you both wore jeans but you could feel him so easily trough the fabric you could as well had been naked. Oh god naked. With Seth. Your stupid heart was acting up again and you rested your head close to his neck, his own face diving into your hair as he continued the sucking on your skin from earlier. A Soft humm left your lips. You couldn't believe yourself you were giving in. His hands were massaging the small of your back now, one of them moving to your butt and gave it a small squeeze. Of that you gasped, and he smirked against your skin again. A soft rumble left his chest, its sound almost feral, you couldn't exactly place it, but all of that mattered less when he grapped your hips roughly and buckled up against you. His crotch grounding hard against your own and a needy groan spilled from his lips. Okay that was it, you couldn't take it anymore. He was arousing you to a point nothing mattered anymore, nothing but him. Your own lips descended upon his skin, nibbling sweetly and swooning in the soft moans he let out. So he liked it. He better do now when he made you go to such lenghts. Not that you were really that much against it anymore. You both sat there for a while, assaulting each other in sweet touches and kisses on skin that was exposed. Neither of you sharing a real kiss. You liked Seth, that was something you couldn't deny, at least not for long. And he had really surprised you, he was so grown up it make you fel like you had missed more of his life that you had first presumed. His lips left your neck and you pulled away as well to lock your eyes with his. He was still smiling, a sweet genuine smile instead of his silly superior one. It made your heart skip a beat and you couldn't help but smile back.

The silence was comfortable and his hand had stilled, now placed soft upon your hips, just holding you there. The silence were only broken when Seth spoke.

"Hey Miki, want to go out with me tomorrow? You could show me the town." It was not like he hadn't been in Seattle before, but spending some time with you was his main priority, and he could as well use it to get to know the city as well.

"Sounds innocent enough." Was your short reply, the smile was still adorning your lips and it seemed to make his eyes soften a bit. He gave a sharp nod then, his sweet smile becoming a huge grin and his fingers rubbed against your jean cladded skin.

"So tonight, wanna have sex?" You smacked his arm, pretty hard too, but he didn't seem to be the least faced by it as he just laughed.

"Just kidding, just kidding. But you are really sexy, you know that?" The sincerity of his words made you blush, there was no doubt he meant what he said, but you just stuck your nose high and snorted playful.

"Of course I am! My absolutely stunning body leaves many men hunger for me!" You both laughed again, chuckles and giggles filling the room, before the comfortable silence fell once again. You were locking eyes again, his soft golden brown seemed to make you drown the more you looked at them. A loud growl broke your both out of your dazing and you were surprised to see Seth blush for the first time this day. The sight reminding you he was just human, no matter how much he resembled a god.

"Whew, I hope you have stocked up enough food, cause I am starving!" Laughter erupted again and you made your way off of him so the poor man could get up and stretch his legs. You weren't that heavy, but being in the same position for so long was doomed to make the muscles sore. However he seemed to be an exception.

"Let's go make some." You said as you grapped his hand and hauled him towards the kitchenette. The TV was still roaring with the ending of the movie, but neither of you noticed as you took pleaure from each others company.

**End of Chapter One.**

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**A/N: **_Thank you so much for reading first chapter of my story. Please let me know what you think ^^ Flames will be laughed at before deleted :) But feel free, always cracks me up. Particular good ones might be saved hahaha :P I love Seth and I love Embry. Who has yet to appear. But next chapter is going to be quite surprising ^^ Though it will take a while before Embry make his apperance. Yaa for now ;D_

_**Boom#**_


	2. No secrets between friends

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A/N:

_I am back with chapter 2 already. I don't hope the letters are as big as they are when I write this. Seriously. Seth and your relationship are heating up ;D Be prepared for everything *Snicker* Please enjoy and review :D I LOVE YOU!Letting Go._

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**Letting Go. **

Is never easy.

Seth/Reader - Embry/Reader

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**Chapter Two**:

**No secrets between friends.**

"Argh, Seth!" You grunted as you sprinted down the aisle of the Super Market hot in his tail. The laughter that ignited from the taller boy made you grith your teeth as you pursued to tackle him against the counter if he didn't stop now. Of course he had to tease you, pull your hair and flip your dress. To The Entire Store. Which caused more than five of the innocent bystanders to see your frilly white panties. Just great. Everything was just great. Hell, he acted no different than from the last time you hung out, though that time the victim had been his sister and you were his accomplice. The barking yell of Leahs pissed off voice still rang in your ears as you saw her flushed face before you. But this time was different, this time it was you. And now you totally understood Leah and would never, ever call her a cry baby again. If you couldn't handle it, no one could.

"Aw, C'mon! It's not that bad, 'Sides, ya panties are cute." That was the last straw and you launched forward, trough the air until you - banged your head against the counter and did a flip flop to the site landing face first in a row of cans, which were now rolling everywhere on the floor, making it a dangerous place to walk.

"Oh Shit! Miki! Are you alright?!" The concern in his voice did its bit to calm you down, or else the pain would. Your nose were burning and buzzing and hadn't your hands trembled so bad you would have felt it up to make sure it wasn't broken. Before you could even turn on your back or sit up. Seth had already scooped you into his arms and stood with you. The hand that wasn't supporting your weight, ran trough your messed hair and undid the knots. Seth liked long hair, preferable straight, he had told you that countless of times through the last 2 days he had been here. Ever since your intimacy on the couch and in your chair - which was you fault since you started it - you had been making out a few times in the kitchenette (Which were pretty much the living room since it was two rooms in one) in your bedroom and even in the bathroom. Which you still hadn't figured out how happened. You hadn't actually kissed yet, your bodies did all the touches and your lips where everywhere, but on each others. So making out maybe wasn't the right word for what you did. Regardless, Seths hand on your slightly sore cheek brought you back to reality and you blinked a few times. Dizzy as a rodeo clown who took too many leaps around the arena.

"No." You told him, surprised you could even speak clear, but a silly smile crossed your lips and you rested your head against his chest. He shook his head of you, your answer had been negative, but upon your smile he couldn't help but feel relieved. You seemed to have gotten off easily, without any scratches or bruises. He knew he should feel guilty, because it was mainly his fault. He didn't, however he silently told himself he would make it up to you. One way or another. Hopefully his way. His own smirk greeted your vision as soon as it became clear. The groceries in your wagon was spilled out over the floor, including the eggs who miraculous wasn't even scratched. Wow. He sat you down when he knew you could stand, placing your hands on the front of the wagon for stabilization, before he went to pick up the wasted packages. It didn't take long and he placed it all back down on the iron of the bottom.

"Let's go pay for this and get you back home. You look like someone who needs a bit comfort." Your eyes blinked of him again, your face completely innocent, a bit confusion finding its way, but he just smiled and shook his head again. On the way home - you were walking - Seth carried both you and the back pack with the groceries. It had just been a small trip to get stuff you ran out of. He hadn't planned to tease you, but when he had accidently - yes, accidently - pulled out one of your hair bands and you bend down to pick it up, the temptation to show the rest of the world - or the store - that beautiful view had been too big. And you reacted just like he expected. The sweet memory of it made him laugh again and you hummed softly against him a small smile crossing your face. of course you were completely obvlious to what graced his mind at the moment. But you took it wasn't anything to bother with really. It was always nice when he laughed. Unless it was of you, which is usually was.

Back in the familiarity of your dear home, Seth placed you down on the soft fluffed couch, strolling over to the kitchenette to place away what you bought. Finding the right cupboards and drawers wasn't hard and he had seen you look trough it all earlier to make a list. He shot a glance back at you, mentally deciding if he should start cooking now or wait til it was actually dinner time. He was a little hungry, but then again he was always hungry. He shrugged his shoulders. Naw. The space between your legs looked so much more tempting than filling his belly. He was beside you in a few steps, his hand reaching over to grap the back of the couch before he leaped up and hovered over you. His hand was on you shoulder, pressing you down in the soft cushions. His legs were straddling each of your side, he had planned to scoop down between, but when you had sensed him your legs closed per automatic. Damn. His trademark smirk fluttered on his lips as he graced your hips and hunked you upwards, one fast arm moving in under your body and around your waist. Pulling you up against his chest before he flipped you over. Him taking the place at the bottom and you sat bewildered on the top of his stomach. His grin widened, at least he was between your legs now, as each slim limb graced either of his side. His hands were still on your waist and he abruptly slid you a little back, until your crotches came into contact trough the fabrics of you clothing. You were still wearing that delicious white skirt. Thankfully it had been a hot day today, and he would make sure it got even hotter. You was still only registering what went on, Seths impossible speed of action had you beyond confused and you could do nothing but stare down on him, your brows slightly furrowed. At the touch of his hand beneath your shirt, resting on your lower belly had your brows flutter into the hair line. He nuzzled the smooth skin beneath your naval with slow strokes as he smiled to you. Seth liked to cuddle, another thing you had noticed in the few days you had spend with him. He would always come up with one or two exuses to crush your body against his, or he would just do it trough your protests anyways. You had no power over him, but he had everything over you. You hated how you responded to him and yet you loved it with all your heart. Something in you always danced around in happyness when his attention was on you, which it was most of the time.

"Ahh Miki, your skin is so soft. I wish I could make you my girl you know." His body was lifting off the couch as he found your ear and whispered the last words. Everything about those words screamed; Seductive! And it made your body writhe in shivers, sweet arousal forming of that alone. "I would make you feel real good."

"Seth." Your words were almost a warning, that he should heed your words and stop now, before this really brought you both to a point where passion was all. His expression fell a bit, but his hands moved in the same slow pace. A new smiled moved to replace the sulking from his features and he did what you expected him to. He apologized.

"Sorry. I shouldn't hit on you that bad, I just wish I was more than a friend to you. If not much then a little more." You almost felt guilty right there - almost. But it wasn't enough to give in. You had done that far too much over the past days. You were too afraid of getting hurt when he had to leave again in a little less than Four weeks. Regardless of the tiny little voice inside your head, screaming at you to let go. Saying things like; What the hell is your problem? He is beyond hot and he wants you. Don't you want to know the secrets of that well toned body? Don't you want to feel him inside? Oh hell yes you do, girl you are crazy, give in already! And you would almost give in, but in the end you managed to stay strong, you just had no idea when you wouldn't be able to do so no more.

"It's not like I don't want you Seth." You begun slowly but wished you had shut your mouth when you saw the small hope in his shining eyes. Dammitall. "Getting attention from you in this sort of way. Hell, I know more than a few girls who would kill for this." He smiled at you, not a smirk, a smile. It was easy to catch the change in his eyes, he wasn't as flirty now, he listened. Interrested, no more than that. It was like he needed, craved to hear what you said. "I just know it wont last forever, in Four weeks you are out of my life again. -Ah bah!" You cut him off with a finger on his lips before he could even utter a word trough his parted lips. "I know we will probaly keep the contact. But it just wont be the same." His mouth was closed again, his eyes not as soft as before. He knew what you said was true, and there was no where he would take you and then leave you. He didn't want to hurt you, and if it hurted you, guess it would remain a no-no. However you next words had his eyes wide, and he stared at you in mild shock.

"Every ounce in my body screams for me to let you fuck me. Pound me crazy, your hands all over my body. Make sweet love. And to be honest I am so close in giving in." You showed with your fingers tightly pressed together just how close it was to add on the effect as you narrowed a single eye. In your head you were amused of his expression, he was utterly adoreable, disbelief all over his handsome features, but you fought back the smile and continued the words you felt like you had to share.

"If there was some way I could convince myself, giving myself to you would not cause me to give you my heart as well. Well then, take me as much as you want!" The smile you had denied him before came to your lips now and you looked at him with playful eyes. He was still in shock, until realization of your words dawned in. His wide eyes darkened and a sigh heaved from his chest.

"You are afraid to fall in love?" He was actually relieved that was the only reason. He was almost afraid you were saving yourself for someone else, or that he wasn't arousing enough. Though he knew that was so not true. He could smell arousement on you even now. And more than that. Well, you weren't exactly virgin, so he guessed that outruled the other possibility as well. Back to the main course. He did not really have to hear your answer to your question, but he saw your nod and noticed the softness in your eyes. Well at least you weren't sad about it.

"Hm, alright. That is plausible. Just too damn annoying I don't see a way out of that." He groaned in slight irratation. When you had talked about how your body screamed for him - although he knew that from just watching you - the fact you had said it with words and so sexy ones non the less. Well, let's just say he was a little more than aroused now. By the soft blush that came across your cheeks as your eyes widened slightly, he took it you noticed too.

"I am serious about you Miki." And he was, you could tell from his words alone. His eyes clear with determination. He was laying back down again, his hands moving from your skin and waist line to rest behind his head, an action that made you a little more than a little dissapointed, but you did your best not to show it.

"But I know, that you and me. It probaly wont ever work out." That hurt too, but he was right. More or less. You felt great attraction towards Seth, attraction you wished weren't there, since you never ever wanted to loose him as a friend. Changing your relationship like that would danger what you have now, if neither of you were strong enough, you would both end up never talking or seeing each other again. That couldn't be risked.

"Not because I am not willing to take the risk." That surprised you. He would actually go that far with you? You watched him carefully for any change in his expression, but you only saw the same truth behind his sincere brown eyes. "You are a wonderful girl, and I mean, come on. The sparks between us are hard not to notice." You smiled with him. Him aching a brow his smile a little more playful than yours. One of his hands were back at your hip, circling around the soft fabric of your skirt and you wished he would touch your skin instead.

"You remember the old legends? Of the Quileute tribe I mean? About our ancestors and their tales?" Your head started to rewind as you tried to recall the said legends. Yes of course you knew them. You grew up in the reservation, well more or less. And the nights at the bonfire always picked your interest anew, even though the stories were the same again and again. Although the last story you remembered, had been a new one. It had been about love. At least of what you remembered. True love. Soul Mates. You nodded your head abruptly and he continued.

"You remember what happened to them?" Once again you tried to recall the exact words that had been told in the stories. They had been known as spirit warriors, until their leader had been betrayed and his body was taken, by an ally he had trusted. He then flew around in his spirit form, til he crossed a. . . What was the animal again? . . . Oh yeah, a wolf. They made a pact and the wolf let him inside his body. Together they got his respective body back, but after that you remembered very little.

"I remember the spirit warriors. And the part with the wolf." He was smiling at you now. His head nodding ever so slightly. "That's right." He said as he stroked your tigh a little harder, but still in a soft and caring way. "The wolf and the spirit warrior shared a body. And in the end they became one. When the tribe would be in danger, the warrior would phase into an enourmous wolf and defend the tribe." He listened as you spoke, with interest and the same smile never faltering. He was listening so intense, even though your version was so much more shorter than the original and even though he probaly knew it better than you.

"And then as he became father, it would happen to his sons. And so it was passed down in the genes of all males in the Quileutes. Well at leats those in his bloodline. Am I right?" Seth nodded his head, his smile widening and you swore he was beaming up at you by this point. Somehow beyond happy you hadn't forgotten them. Like it was important.

"Do you believe it?" That question came so sudden the next word left you before you could stop it. "Huh?" Instead of laughing like he usually did when you were being careless, he seemed to grow impatient as he asked the same again, this time his voice was lced with a serious tone. "Do you believe the legends, Miki?" His eyes were boring into yours as he awaited your answer. His body was tense and you felt the muscles flex beneath you. You couldn't help but feel cornered. He was acting like his life was dependant of your answer and that alone made it hard to think.

"Come on Seth, gimme a break. When you look at me like that I can't think straight." His muscles flexed again, but then he relaxed. A sigh spilled from his lips and he closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, there were a lot softer and it mad eyou able to relax at well. "Sorry." He mumbled. "I just need to know if you believe them too."

"Too? Are you saying you believe them, Seth?" Your eyes widened as you stared down at him, watching every his move, his expressions. He nodded his head, a small smile on his lips. An almost ironically shine in to his eyes. "Let's just say I have a very good reason to." You could almost hear him snort, though he didn't do it. Your mind was racing with thoughts, almost too fast for you to register any of the words. And then. Your mind went blank. For a whole minut you just stared at him, trying to regain your train of coherency back again.

"They are. . . true right? . . ." You couldn't believe you were asking, but how his eyes responded told you his answer. They were. He spoke regardless of the realization he saw in your face. "If you believe them, Miki. Then they are." You just shook your head as you backed to get off him. Your reaction triggered his hands and they grapped your hips, as if to keep you in place, soft pain entered his eyes. But you weren't disgusted. You were just confused. Expecially because your mind was trying hard to decipher a certain sentence he had just said. "Let's just say I have a very good reason to." But you already knew the answer. And suddenly the story came flowing back to your mind. The last story you had heard at the bonfire before you left with your parents and moved away to Seattle. The story about the Soul Mates. How the leader of the clan had found his true love in his third wife. How he had given up the gift of the wolf to stay with her. Grow old with her. How she had given up her life to save her sons and her mate. The tribe. Love at first sight. Eternal love.

". . . All the legends are true?" Your voice was just a whisper, but you longed for an answer. As if he had read your mind and knew what particular legend you had in mind, his eyes became soft and his expression thoughtful.

"Yeah, also about the Soul Mate stuff. Never tried it, but I have seen it happen to my friends." That just about did it for you. Your hands were shaking as you graped his face and forced him to look you straight in the eye. Though that had been what he was doing before anyways.

"Never tried it?! Seth are you telling me you are. . . Are you a. . ." You couldn't say it, but his eyes became desperate, hell he himself was becoming desperate. His hands grapped your wrist and he held you tight, preventing you from releasing him though you had never planned to do so. "Yes?" He was not breathing even anymore and neither was you. You could hear both of your racing hard beats and non of you blinked as you stared at each other. Your whisper filled the room and seemed to echo as you spoke. It was a statement, not a question anymore.

"You are a wolf." You wasn't sure if that was completely correct, but you saw the humor that flickered in his eyes, before he released you and your hands fell down at your sides. His own back at their start position on your hips. His thumbs trailing soft circles, this time directly on your skin as he had moved his hands beneath your skirt. This would ahve made you shiver and ache, but the only ache you felt was forming in your chest. It was nearly painful as it all just dimmed on you. But the next one to speak was him.

"A shape shifter to be correct. But yeah, all the legends are true. I didn't believe them at first either, but. . . You can see what it did to me. In two months I went from slim kid to buff muscle man." He was smiling bright now, clearly amused by it all, but you couldn't join his joy. He seemed reliefed that it was out. That you knew, that you had figured it out all by yourself - or well almost, he had given you a hint or two alright. He was completly relaxed now and a content sigh left his lips as he watche dyou with soft eyes. You had no idea how long you just sat like that. Staring at him as he smiled at you. Waiting for you to recover, he didn't seem worried at all. Your prior reactions had put him at ease. And you were baffed. you had never given the legends second thoughts. Or well you had been impressed by the last on. The one about the Third wife. her bravery and love making you wish it had not only been a story. And he was, your best friend telling you - or letting you tell him - that it was all true. Suddenly you shook and then you laughed. A high pitched almost insane laughter. Tears stroked your eyes, making them misty, but they never rolled. You whipped you eyes with the backside of your hand and your body fell down on his. Your head resting on his shoulder as the last soft giggles left you. His smile never faltered, actually he seemed more reliefed when you laughed, though he had to admit he had been a little bit surprised.

"Oh my god. And you are not kidding. Oh wow!" You were looking back up at him, suddenly amused as he had been before. You heart was leaping, but differently as you felt joy fill you. Joy that your favorite story was true, joy that Seth wasn't taking steroids and simply just joy that you was here with him. Some time he had to show you, even if you had to force him. But you were afraid you wouldn't completely believe it unless you saw it with your own eyes.

"Why didn't you just tell me?" Your brows were ached as you tried to figure it out, his soft grin and bright eyes laughed at you in silence before he inhaled and leaned back again. His hands stilling their movement and he closed his eyes for a second before he opened them to gaze at you. "I couldn't. You remember Sam Uley?" At your nod he gazed out of the window. "And Jacob Black?" This time he couldn't see you, but he was pretty sure your response was the same. "Sam and Jacob are Alphas. Before Jacob decided to become one, it was just Sam. He was the first to go trough what now the rest of us did. Or well, the most of us." His eyes returned to yours, his smile was gone, but his expression was soft.

"What the Alpha says is supleme. You can't disobey an order. It is the rule. No matter how much you try, it is impossible, and painful too to times. So usual we don't even try." Your brows furrowed at that. A bit concern filling you. That sounded awful, well for everyone beside the Alpha.

"A lot of things happened, but the main reason so many of us are phasing. Well. . . It's because of out natural enemies. Creatures we have to kill." You were listening to Seth, even more interrested in what he had to tell,t han you had ever been at the bonfire. Not even when the story of the Third wife had been told. "A human who Jacob loved. Was in love with one of these creatures, and she decided to be with him. Even though Jacob could probaly make her even happier. When the creature impregnanted her, she became weak and close to dying. The fetus in her grew faster than any human baby would. But then again it wasn't human, not completely. It was crushing her bones and draining her for life." You gasped, your hand went to your mouth and you stared at him in disbelief. You didn't know the girl and you probaly never would, but you felt so. . . Sorry for her. Seth just placed a wamr hand on your arm and carressed it soft, understanding lacing his eyes.

"Yeah, I know. It was horrible I tell you. But when Sam cast the order to kill her and the unborn fetus. Jacob refused. Sam hates to use his Alpha voice against us, but if he deems it neccessary he doesn't hesitate. But for some reason, Jacob broke free of it. He told me the instant he realized Sam had no power over him if he did not want him to, the bonds dissapeared and his mind became free. Just like that. Oh yeah!" He beamed as his grin widened to the double, his eyes bright and you were certain you saw them flash for a moment there.

"That's another abso-fucking-lutely awesome thing about being a shapeshifter! When we are phasing we can hear each others thoughts! Even by the distance of 300 miles. And not just thoughts, images, pictures from places the others have been. As long as they think of them." His expression became less blinding now, a soft blush covering his cheeks as he seemed to realize something he yet had to share. "And I really mean everything. You know. . . Even the, ehm. Intimate stuff the others have with their, ehm. . . Girlfriends." His blush increased and he grinned silly when his expression and words made you laugh. He joined you and you both just sat there, until a comfortable silence fell down around you two. A soft sigh left your lips. You had started to develop a headache, but it was just a small one, not really a big deal. You had also learned a lot, and it was a lie if you said you weren't overwhelmed. Wow.

"And you enjoy it, don't you? You pervert!" You smacked his arm playfully as you laughed again when he wagged his eyebrows actually giving you a perverted grin. "I do. I actually think I am the only one who likes this connection. Well so far all my thoughts are more or less innocent." Your expression changed by that and you blinked down at him. His cheeks were still a dusty pink and he started to look nervous. "What?" He didn't answer you, but averted his eyes as his blush increased and realization hit you like a truck driving too fast on a glitchy roadside. "Are you a virgin?!" You actually shouted that and you saw him flinch as he grithed his teeth. Never daring to look at you, but he just seemed to grow redder and redder. "Shh!! Are you planning for the whole neighbourhood to hear that?!" He hissed out trough his clenched teeth, finally looking at you as embarrassment filled his features.

Oh My God.

Your long time best friend. Seth Clearwater. Currently residing in your place running on day Three of the vacation. Is Still A Virgin. The same overly handsome young man who ever since he arrived had been hitting on you, feeling you up and cornered you in the most passion filled situations you had ever felt with another man. And those had been innocent, regarding you never took more pleasure from each other than you could fully clothed. You couldn't help it, you had to laugh. The same high pitched laugh that almost had you bursting with tears as your body rocked and cramped in way the giggles rolled from your being. His innocent face became a scowl as he growled at you, looking sour and evern more embarrassed. More or less completely humiliated. But you found it adoreable. So utterly adoreable. With a sharp intake of breath you calmed your body enough that you stopped shaking and with your palm you muffled the last remaining giggles. Whipping your eyes with the other.

"S-Sorry, but you are so cute right now!" He just seemed to growl more of that as he snorted and looked away again, his teeth still clenched and his face was completely flushed. "Gee, thanks. Exactly what every man yearns to hear from the lips of his crush." Those words stopped your laughter completely. Your heart skipped a beat when what he said sank in and you felt your own face heat. Was he just saying what you thought he said? Your hands shot forward as they grapped his face again, you saw the surprise in his eyes when you forcefully brought his face to yours, and before either of you could react as much as inhaling. You crushed your lips to his.

Everything after that went fast. His hands at your body moved to his sides as he probbed his elbows against the couch, lifting himself enough to bring himself closer. His lips melting against you own as you moved your legs from his sites to behind him. Straddling him further as your legs wrapped around his waist and pulled you flush against his chest. That position made him able to sit up and he he wrapped his arms around your middle, your own around his neck as you pressed your soft chest against his hard one. His hands weren't still for long as they eagerly started to explore your back side. Your long hair tickling his skin wherever he went up only to stroll back down and grapping your butt. You moaned open mouthly against his lips and he took the oppotunity to slide his tounge past your entrance and immediately challenged your own to a battle you knew you would loose. You already felt yourself loose it. All the fears of rejection and loss was pushed as far behind as possible. All you could concentrate on was him and his sweet assault. Seth was a great kisser, even that was an understatement. But you figured that though he was untouched, it didn't mean he had never kissed anyone before. You realized that thought made you jealous and you growled almost possessively into his mouth. That didn't go unnoticed by your lover as he responded with a growl of his own, more feral than yours, but you had an idea why. One of his hands were in your hair now, running trough the soft locks and he curled his fingers around the strains. You mimicked this action as your own hands wavered into his much shorter hair. It was softer than yours and it made you a little pissed. When he broke the kiss you both panted heavily for air, but Seth didn't rest as he descended his lips upon your neck, sucking and biting as you moaned again, your head lolling back and you closed your eyes. His body heat was radiating. Even at this point where you were nearly burning all over, expecially where his lips would touch and his tounge would trail, he was still warmer than you. It was only adding to it, you were already sweating as he was unfaced, but your mixing scent of sweet arousal and salt seemed to make him snap. With one swift movement he had you crushed beneath him, you felt your body being swallowed by the all too soft couch, but it all felt good to you. You were trapped, but you didn't want to escape either.

His hands trailed your hips, down your legs as he moved them to wrap around his waist, pulling your closer as your abdomen touched. Both of you loved the contact, but it was too painful still being seperated by the thin fabric of your clothes. Seth acted first, as his hands pulled at the hem of your shirt. Your arms lifted automatically above your head and he pulled it off effortlessly, trowing it somewhere on the floor where it would be forgotten for the next few hours. Or as long as this would take. He was a bit dissapointed to see you were wearing a bra today, though he had actually noticed earlier. Probaly because you had been out in the city. It didn't matter why, it was in the way, end of the story. He felt your smaller hands pull in his own shirt and a smile played on his lips. He caught your drift and pulled it off just as fast as he got rid of yours. He saw the awe in you eyes as you greedily watched him. Your tounge moisting your wet lips and that sight alone was close to send him over the edge. He growled dark with lust as he was back at your lips. Catching them in a hugry kiss, easily pushing trough your lips as he devored your mouth. Your were moaning against him, your body shaking with arousal and he could smell it. His own was hard and more than ready and he wanted you to feel it. Grave it. Beg for it. Rocking his hips against yours he swallowed your groan and did it again. He loved this, he abso-fucking-lutely loved this. How easy you responded to him. How your fingers pulled in his hair, how your legs clamped around him in desperation for him to come closer. oh god. it was almost too much.

He had never imagined his first time before. Not until you opened the door and he saw you. He didn't imprint, he had no idea if he had wished for it, but maybe he had. You had been so fucking beautiful, so tempting and grown up. So different from how he remembered you. And the way you had stared at him. It just did it. You were ogling, and it had turned him on. After that he couldn't help himself. He had to touch you, hold you close. Sniff your scent and somehow try to make you realize just how bad he wanted you. And now he had you. There was no way out of this now. If the fucking phone dared to ring he would crush it, but not before he had ravished you senseless and made you scream for him.

You were completely lost in sweet euphoria. Seths mouth on yours, his body pressed against your own. Everything felt so right. Absolutely everything. You felt his hands struggle with the clasp of your bra, aching your back to make it easier for him you heard the snap before you felt the straps fall down your shoulders. Mere seconds was what it took for him to remove it and it was all done without taking his lips from yours. Once in a while he would still against you mouth, giving both of you time enough to inhale hard trough your noses and regain breath, before the next battle of tounge wrestling began. The bra was tossed off somewhere among the other pieces of the clothing removed and he wasted no time before a warm hand was cupping a full breast. That was something you had always been proud of. The size of your breasts. They weren't so big they screamed; Surgery! But they weren't so small no one noticed. You had always been a slim girl with quite big hips. The size of your breast made you posses a perfect hourglass shape. Something you were pretty sure Seth was more than happy about right now.

Sultry hands flew around, feeling up every curve and bump and muscle on both of your bodies. You were exploring and memorizing everything in the short amount you lingered on a space before moving on. When the touching and kissing became too much for Seth, he pulled away from you and ignored your groaning protests as he knew would stop as soon as you realized what he had in mind. And just as predicted you went still when his hands where at your skirt. Mere seconds it took to button you up and slide the zipper at the site down. Your skirt easily went off and he slid it down your legs, letting go as you kicked it off and it flew somewhere you cared not. Now all that remained was your panties and his jeans. Probaly his boxers too, but you wanted those damn jeans off first. He was already working on your panties, you you stilled his hands, your eyes locked on his as you moved them to his pants. He caught the drift soon enough and with a smirk unbottoned them and slid them down. Commando. That was all you could say. The expected boxers were no where to see, only the impressive manhood pointed your way greeted your view. You swallowed a lump as you licked your lips again, you couldn't tear your eyes away and Seth noticed as his breath became ragged and his smirk wider. He was beaming with pride. Your arousal were spiking and poked his nose. The spicy scent so absolutely delicious it was hard to keep in control when all he wanted was to rip off those damn panties and let you take away his virginity.

He wasn't worried about that. About this being his first time, or worried that he wouldn't be able to please you. He had a big enough ego to know that he would. Your body was responding so eagerly to his just entering you should make you able to see stars. God, he couldn't wait. His heart nearly stopped as he watched you lay down, spreading your legs for him. His panting was horrible and it was hard to breathe. He silently questioned himself when and how you had been able to disgard yourself of your panties, but by the smug look of your face and smokey eyes, he completely lost it. His erection was throbbing to the lenght of being being painful and with a low growl he was over you. He felt how your legs flew around him immediately, your arms mimicking their action as you pulled his face to yours. When you kissed him roughly he was reminded this wasn't your first time. And as much as he secretly wished he could have been your first, it also made him relieved. He was way beyond the control of his beast. He was just barely able to make it last a few more seconds, and that was hard enough for him. He did not have to be careful. He did not have to be gentle. With those final thoughts his selfcontrol snapped. A swift thrust was all it took before he was burried inside you.

You groaned in pleasure, you body shaking soft as he filled you completely. There was no pain, absolutely no pain, but you hadn't expected any. As less as you had expected this enormous clash of sweet obvlion that already filled your body. You wouldn't last long, you couldn't believe this was his first time. He wasn't even moving and you already felt the coil tighten in the middle of your center. When he moved you cried his name. Your moans mixed together in a song of pleasure as he grounded into you. He easily sat a pace, hard and rough and faster by each stroke. He wasn't gentle and you loved it. As heavy as your lids felt felt, you had to watch him, his own eyes were closed tight and his brows furred in concentration. Sweat trailed from his forhead and down to his chin, it wasn't hard to see how much he was affected as well.

He couldn't describe it. This unbelieveable feeling of being one. From the moment he entered you he felt complete. The way you took him in, clamped around him and pulled him tighter. God, you were driving him insane. It didn't take him long to regain his composure and he was out of you and inside again in a heart throbbing thrust before you could breath. His name spilled from your lips and he felt like kissing you. Moans left his own lips as he sped up, pounding you into the couch in a way that would make people wonder how it held and didn't break. His hands were tight on your hips, he was afraid he would break your skin and crush your bones, cause he knew he was strong enough. His chest heaved painfully with each shaking breath he took. He knew you weren't doing better as the sound of your rabid heart beat felt his ears along with your raspy moans and his own name once in a while. How he loved the way you said it, the way it easily fell of your tongue and rang in his mind. It was sweet music to him, sweeter than anything. Understanding for his pack members filled him. He had never been completely disgusted byt he images they had, more interested and then again not. But hot damn. Non he had ever seen before could compete with this. You were so hot and wet and all his. Right now you were all his and stood it to him you always would be. Forever.

Your nails dug into his flesh, leaving cresend shaped marks in their wake as you yanked a hand in his hair. Your fingers crushing the soft hair as you fistened your hand and pulled him forcefully down to your face. He caught your drift and clashed his lips against yours, locking them like the way your body was locked. There was just enough space between you for him to continue you his delicious onslaught of in and out. His lips moved with yours before his tongue danced along the bottom of your upper lip. Seeking entrance and who where you do deny him? Parting just enough for his tongue to slip inside he kissed you suprisingly gentle. The kiss was sweet and so different from the violent way your body met. Noisy slapping sounds filling the room from skin against skin. You breathing hitched when your eyes widened as he hit a spot inside you only a few had ever found. How Seth had managed to you knew not, but you cared less as the bubble in your belly bursted and sheer hot white pleasure quaked your body in violent spasms. Seth felt it as well when your inner walls clashed down on him and made him grunt in surprise and pleasure. His own body gave after as he felt your orgasm drag him with over the egde. He had no time to react as he buckled into you in an odd last thrust before his own release made him groan in total obvlion.

Your heavy panting was the only sounds in the world right now. Not just in this room, in the entire world. Seths arms where trembling, he had placed them beside your head to keep from crushing you as his body was taken over by his powerful release. He was fighting to keep his balance as he watched you beneath him. Your body was lax and your legs had fallen down as soon as you got them outwined after he came in you. The last thing he wanted right now was to pull out. The way it felt to be in your warmth, it was completely overwhelming him to a point where it shocked him to the core, litterally. But he could not keep this position, in mere seconds from now his arms would give in and he would crush your petite figure. He couldn't have that. Your couch was big, but not big enough for him to roll over, unless he wanted to kiss the floor, if he didn't hit the small coffee table first. With his last amount of strenght he managed to push himself off of you and sat down on the couch just behind your feet. He felt devastated as soon as he lost your heat. He was hot enough himself to function as a heater, but it was your warmth he needed. His heart throbbed with painful beats as his eyes glued to your form. You were breathing heavy, even more than him. You breasts bouncing soft with each movement. Your body was humming and trembling softly from the sweet aftermath of your little intercourse. As he regained his breathing to a somewhat normal state he watched you till you did the same before he grapped your arm and pulled you against him. His heart fluttering when he felt you back where you belonged. Your arms wounded around him lazily as you shared a sloppy kiss, before the both of you smiled against each others mouths. Damn, this had been the damned best thing that ever happened in his life.

Dread filled him when he realized something grave. The way his heart throbbed and his body as well as mind yearned for you, even though you had just been a few inches away. It wasn't possible and yet it happened. It probaly happened when he saw you again, for the first time in Two years. But realization wasn't dimming before now. He loved you. Seth Clearwater was head over heals in love with you. And it wasn't good. How the hell was he supposed to tell you?

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**A/N: **_God, why does the world hate me? I have never had so much trouble in my life than I had with uploading this chapter. Dear readers, if words are missing or everything looks odd or whatever. Please inform me ;v; I wrote another buttom author note, but apparantly this site swallowed it. So it is gone. I just hope it is not somewhere mixed in this chap =__= Gee. Cookies and hugs! Please Review ^^_

_Boom#_


	3. Is it worth it?

**A/N: **_Hello, Boom speaking :) I am back after a short while with chapter three. Chap.4 is already half done and will be up in a short while ^o^ Also I am pleased to inform you about another Embry story I am working on. As soon as I have written at least 3 chapters out I will upload the first one. I am still not sure if I should make it a Reader- story, but tell me what you think :)_

_I want to dedicate this chapter to my friend Franzii ;D Her username is hard remembering (lol, sorry) but she knows who she is :D I hope the waiting was worth it, period! Without further delay; Here you go :)_

**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Twilight, the setting or any of the wonderful characters. I earn no profit from this story._

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**LETTING GO.**

Is Never Easy.

Seth/Reader. Embry/Reader.

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**Chapter Three:**

**Is it worth it?**

Dawn was never quiet in the City. The few birds whos chirping was actually on the level of tolerating were serenading the first rays of the sun. The larger birds, the doves and the gulls sounded like they were dying in their search for bread crumes and garbage. Honking from cars and the general sound of a City in waking was dominating the rest. In the large red building on Fourth floor to the left, silence wasn't a part of the environment either. A loud dumb like thud emitted from your living room when something fell from the couch.

You were giggling like a silly little girl.

"OW! That wasn't fun Miki!" Seth rubbed the back of his head a little pain obvious on his handsome features. You had pulled the covers all the way from under him with all the strenght you had. Which resulted in the taller boy slipping from the soft seating and hitting the floor. Wasn't fun? It was hilarious! And he couldn't blame you, he had just told you to get the covers if you were cold, so you got the covers. Just because you choose the most difficult to reach, hee hee.

A week had passed already. Seth had ditched the lonely mattress in the extra room for your bed or the couch, depended on where _you _wanted to sleep. The only TV you possessed had it's usual spot in your livingroom and wasn't going anywhere, so whenever you felt like having a movie night, the couch it was. It wasn't as spacious as your ass-kick huge bed - which you were proud of - but Seth and you had no problem sharing what room there was. After that night a week ago, you had actually expected things would go akward between you. Since you were two best friends suddenly moving your relationship to a dangerous forbidden level. But oh no. It was almost as if things just got better. Seth was just as flirterous, but he calmed it down a bit with all the touchy and groping, he knew you would surrender yourself to him eventually anyways. Pfft. And he was right. From the two of you, you were actually the worst one now. Whenever he would get up - shirtless with just boxers - you would pull him right back and kiss him senseless. You remembered one particular morning just two days after Seths de-virgination. You were laying in your bed for a change, your fingers drawing signs and pictures on his back while your other hand ran trough his hair, he was still sleeping and you didn't have heart enough to wake him, even though he was getting hard to resist. That was another thing you had noticed about Seth, how angelic he looked when he was sleeping, no strain or tension in his face. Completely soft and innocent like. Heh, innocent. But well, a funny thought had come to your mind, and it was expecially funny because you could almost already see his reaction. It wasn't hard getting under Seths skin, he was in particular very easy to read once you stopped ogling at him everywhere and actually payed attention to the boy he was. He was still Seth, the same boy who became your best friend in the short proximaty of half a year after you got familiar. Nothing more and nothing less. The realization just had you liking him even more and you knew it probaly wouldn't take long before you would fall. It still worried you, but if it happened, you would cope with it then. You were already so close that you would miss him no matter what, and somehow you already _did _love him. Being best friends had its toll.

For a change you were the one in the bottom, pressed neatly into the white covers, the blanket loosely laying over the both of you. Seth was snoring softly, his head placed on your stomach, his arm draped around your form and the other sprawled over your chest as his fingers played subconciously with your hair. After your first _night _of sleeping together on your couch, you had been intimate every night. Even at day to times, some of the things he made you do or did to you still had you blushing just thinking about it. He could be so naughty.

In order to fullfill your plan you started to nudge him ever so softly, but he wasn't budging one bit. Growing slightly impatient you pressed your palms to his shoulders and just pushed, first lightly, but in the end you had to use all your strenght. You saw his face frown before he groaned softly, murmuring and then finally turned over. Reliefed to have his weight from you, though your body was betraying you with the dissapointment of his heat gone, you wasted no time to get off the bed and stood gracefully on your feet. You sneaked a glance back at him, your own trademark smirk gracing your lips. Spinning around you sprinted into the livingroom slash kitchen and opened the door to the frigde; you knew you had the thing somewhere. Spotting the cloy for your brilliant plan you grapped the tin bottle and closed the frigde back before spinning again and heading back to the bedroom. Seth was sprawled nonchalantly across the bed, laying on his stomach as he hugged a pillow with one arm, his face dissapearing into it. Your smirk was back when you sneaked over, all dramatically humming the shark theme song. You heaved yourself onto the bed, you know he had noticed you when he stirred and then turned around. His eyes were still closed and you were beyond happy for that as you crawled closer, the tube in the right hand and you then climbed over his legs. Seating yourself right on his belly you beamed down at him. His eyes blinked with sleep and he yawned. You had to hold back a fit of giggles thinking of what you were going to do. Last morning Seth had surprised you with breakfast on the bed. The gesture had been so sweet and un-Seth-like as can be, but you had swooned in the attention. You watched as his eyes fluttered closed again, a small smile spilling on his lips. He had absolutely no idea what you were just about to do. It wasn't really a mean thing, but you honestly couldn't wait for his reaction. Licking your lips in anticipation you pulled the covers off his body, lifting yourself just enough to remove them before starring down at his completely bare chest. Shaking the tube of whipped cream you leaned down and blew soft air on the shell of his ear, as he shuddered you smiled before you bit softly in the skin below.

"Seth, babe, time to wakey." A soft rumble left his chest and you smiled again as you felt his hands on your hips, oh yes, this was going to be just great. When the bottle was shaken enough you removed the lid and scooped more down his legs, you watched his reaction as you got to far away for his hands to reach you, but you knew he would have else to think about in just a moment. Without further hesitation you sprayed the cool liqued cream in a beeline across his chest. You couldn't suppress the laughter when the action caused Seth to shudder violently and his eyes opened wide. A silent gasp left his mouth and it took him a few moments to regain himself, but you weren't waiting for him. Tossing the bottle aside you ducked, your hands on his shoulders as your tounge moved out and licked the sweet cream from just under his naval. That action seemed to draw his attention from starring ahead down to you. You didn't have to watch him to know he was trying to register what was going on. When you felt a shaken hand on your own shoulder you smiled even wider before you gave him another soft lick. You felt his legs move to make room for you in between instead of you struggling to sit comfortable on top. You moved your hands to his chest and rubbed him soft in reward. He was panting soft beneath you as you grew bolder and pressed your tounge hard against his skin, making sure you got every drop of the cream before you moved on. His hand on your shoulder tightened a bit and you felt like laughing again when he moaned. You had just taken a lonely nipple into your mouth and sucked it hard. Good thing Seth wasn't as sentitive as you, or he just liked the pain. When the cream was gone you ducked before he could react and stuck you tounge into his naval, that seemed to be the last straw he could take and with a groan he flipped you over, straddling your hips as he pressed his mouth against yours. Willingly you subdued and opened your mouth when his tounge ran along your lips. The sweet taste of the cream filled his senses when he rubbed his tounge against yours. What the hell had gotten into you that you would come up with such an insane idea was beyond him, but he wouldn't say he didn't like it either. He had been surprised, but now he was just aroused. He loved that so much about you, how unpredictable you could be. Soon enough you were both engaged in some bed wrestling and Seth got his own share of the cream as he smeared it everywhere on your chest. The feeling had been cool, but his warm tounge against your skin compensated it well.

You sighed in content as you let the memory play. Seth seemed to notice your dreamlike state and used your carelessness to sneak over and grap your wrist, with a fast tug he had you down on the floor with him. You barely got to gasp before your body was pressed flush against his and he shook with laughter. You grunted and scowled, but soon enough you laughed softly yourself. If it would just always be like this. You was really good together. Seth had mentioned that out loud last night as well. His hand combed trough your hair in a habbit he had grown fond of lately. Your eyes locked and you smiled to him before he closed the distance and pressed his full lips against yours in a chaste kiss. Another sigh left you and you closed your eyes in bliss. Yes. If it would only last forever.

After breakfast you stalked to the bathroom to do your morning toilette and Seth was nice enough to let you be for now. He was still rinsing the dishes when you returned, grapping a dishcloth you helped him dry off the plates and you both fell into an easy chatter. The topics between you never seemed to grow less, you always had something to talk about, even discussing. The latest subject had been the last phone call he recieved from his mother. She had been down with the cold, not really a nice thing in the middle of summer, but with her growing age her immune system seemed to falter more and more. Seth had been mildly concerned, but his mother did her best to ease him. She had tried to convince him to come back a little earlier. Next week Leah would leave the reservation for a roadtrip herself. She had just got her own car fixed - with help of Jake, though he needed some convincing, he would rather spend his time with Nessie nowadays. But Seth had insisted he stayed by you til the end of the vacation, though he had promised his mother to talk with you about it. He still searched for the right time to mention it though, so so far you were completely clueless on that topic.

"Seth, I've been thinking about the tribe legends again. I found some of the old books when I looked trough the last few boxes, and there are some things I'd like to discuss with you." Your attention was entirely on the same plate he had handed you five minuts ago. It was already completely dry, but seeing as it was the last one, you would miss something to figde with as soon as you stocked it away. He was leaning against the counter as he watched you, his only response was a low humm and he waited patiently for you to continue. Finally giving up in finding a still wet spot you placed the plate down on the counter and with a sigh you faced him. Your face wasn't smooth as it used to be, both your brows where furred and you almost looked like you were scowling. It didn't seem to bother him the least and he nodded his head once, resting his chin in his hand. "Mainly what you told me about the story about the Third Wife. According to the story Taha Aki found in her his true soul . . . Said it never happened to you, but you have seen it happen to some of your friends?" His face seemed to fall ever so slightly as you mentioned exactly what you had been thinking about. Well, he couldn't change that and you desurved an answer. Even though he had secretly hoped you would just forget about it. He had been the one to mention it to you in the first place and knowing you as well as he did, he knew how touchy you was on those kind of subjects. Love, make that true love seemed to be just as important to you as to many girls. And you were both intimate with each other, of course it would bother you, expecially when you had no idea about the details. He was just not anticipating your reaction, if he knew you as well as he thought he did - and he was pretty sure he did - then you wouldn't end up happy knowing what he had to tell.

"Ahh, I was expecting you to aks me that, though sooner than later. Took your time Miki." He shot you a half playful smile, but your serious expression made him sigh and he pushed himself off the counter. Grapping your wrist he dragged you along, crossing the room before he sat back down in the couch, pulling you down with him making you sit in his lap. His arms draped around your waist and he turned you to face him. "Just promise me you wont freak. It's not easy to explain and I'm not even sure you'll understand it. Not even I understand it fully. It was just supposed to be a rumor, not even part of the legends, but so far it's happened to everyone besides a few, me included." He watched you careful, making sure he would be able to read your reactions, he really hoped you could deal with nodded your head ever so soft at him, urging him to continue and he bit his lip before popping his lips and leaned back.

"We call it imprinting. It is like . . . Well imagine what keeps you to this world is a billion of small strings, tying you to everything. The earth, the houses, your friends, your family. Everything you love and everything you hate. Even the air is tied to you. But when you imprint. All those strings dissapear, each string are cutted and you float aimlessly around in nothing. Nothing matters anymore, everything that was so dearly important before becomes dull emotions in you." So far everything was good, you were listening with intense interest and he almost smiled. You looked like a kid being told a deep secret. He gave you a few moments to swallow his information, when confusement then entered your expression, because you clearly didn't understand much of it, he gave a low chuckle and continued. "All the strings that were cut are still attached to you. One by one they connect, though this time all to one single thing. Or well a person. This person, being the imprintee. She becomes your absolute, your air, your everything. What kept you alive before seems like nothing compared to her. You can't call it love at first sight, because it is so much more powerful. I saw it when Quil imprinted. You remember Quil?" First now he noticed you had stopped breathing, because you gasped soft for air as you exhaled in a huff and nodded gruffily at him. He wanted to stop it right there and cuddle you close, but your hand against his chest told him you would rather hear the rest first. "Quil was the first of us who imprinted on a girl who hadn't hit adulthood yet. Claire was two years old when he imprinted." He saw the shock flash in your eyes as they widened and he smiled soft, shaking his head. "That's what I mean. What Quil felt for Claire had nothing to do with love, or well, maybe the same kind of love a parent has towards their child. But there were no desires attached. I tell you, I've never seen a grown up man being able to play peekaboo for 3 hours straight without getting bored. She's got that much power over him. He's only happy when Claire's happy." He still watched you carefully, looking for the moment where horror would fill your pretty features and you would tell him what a freak he was and chase him out. But that never happened. He watched you place your hand over your mouth, but immediately after you started to laugh, your body quivering as you bend down, your forehead touching Seths shoulder and he smiled wide while he waited for you to settle. Reliefment washed trough him and he once again reminded himself how unpredictable you ware, or maybe he had just explained it just right. Or maybe you didn't quite understand it at all and just drew your own conclusions, whatever they were he just hoped you wouldn't pry more. But comparing his luck when around you, damn.

"Three hours peekaboo, that's quite something." You wiped the single tear that escaped your eye off your cheek and heavily inhaled, before exhaling just as heavy. "I think I understand. I _think_. So don't hold me on to it, but . . . It leaves a few things confusing me. For example the fact you stated Quil is a grown up. I know Quil, though I have never really chatted much with him and he's what . . . One year older than me?" Seth nodded his head and shrugged. "Yeah something like that. Lemme guess Miki, you want to know how it will be when Claire grows up right? Quil being 18 years older than her makes it a little gross yeah, but . . . What if I told you we can't age?" By that your eyebrows dissapeared into your hairline and your mouth fell agape. Seth watched you without humor as you stared with a blank face. It took you a little longer than before to swallow these new informations and honestly this was just beyond what you could allow yourself to believe, yet you saw no lies in his eyes. He was patiently watching you, waiting for you to pull yourself enough together that you could continue. Slowly you regained the control over your body back and shut your mouth as you nodded once. And then you shook your head, bewildered.

"C-can't . . . Age?" Sure okay, if they couldn't age that changed more than one thing. But. God how stupid you felt right now. You should had seen that one coming, because you already knew. You knew because you knew the legends were true and Taha Aki had lived three lives, only with his third wife did he find true happiness and decided to grow old with her. Maybe you just hadn't considered the possibility because it was so outrageous, not to talk about how unfair it was. Shaking you head more feverously than before you groaned. "That's like so . . . Is that why you grew so fast? You are 17 and yet you look like you're 6 years older than me. maybe just 5, but still." You were feeling a little more than annoyed now, and it didn't help the least when he just confirmed it as he nodded. Okay, deep breath. Calm. Deep breath. Calm. You mentally praised yourself at how good you managed to pretend this didn't bother you. What expecially bothered you was how calm _Seth _took it, well it must also be common procedure for him, since he is living with it day in and day out. Damn. Damn. Damn. Not further able to restrain the urge you slapped him across the face, not hard, but hard enough you could feel the pain that shot trough your hand. You ignored it though as you watched his expression, hating even more how unfaced he looked. A small sigh left his lips and he closed his eyes for a moment, his hand grapped your arm and he yanked you down against him. You struggled to get away, but he held you close as his lips consumed yours. Determined not to give in, because you knew if you did he would win and you would turn into goo, you pressed your hands against his shoulders. But he was stronger than you, much stronger, and you knew it shouldn't be a surprise. As his lips melted against your own you shuddered, he wasn't trying to force your response, you realized when he pulled away and his lips found your ear instead.

"I didn't choose this Miki, though I would lie if I didn't say it still have me thrilled. I love it, not only the feeling of family, but the intimacy between everyone. Sometimes it's painful, but most of the times it's convient, expecially when we hunt. You get to know each other in a totally different way and persons you never expected to like or sociate with just so happens to become your best friends." He moved you out so he could lock his gaze with yours as he stroked your hair. His eyes were soft and he smiled at you. "I didn't imprint on you, but I am not lying when I say; That you are definitely my first love." Your face was still blank for a good amount of time after his last words, his own smile dissapeared and you just sat there staring at each other. Seth was starting to regret he had added it, for an entire week he had tried to figure out a way to tell you, but no time had seemed well enough to mention it. And now he was more than worried that he really did pick the worst of times. But when he saw the realization dim in your eyes as they grew in size just ever so slightly, he also saw as disbelief washed over you when your brows crunched and he took the moment to pull you back against him. Once again placing his lips on yours, moving ever so softly against your soft swells as his hands rubbed your back. Your body was tense, but he felt you relax just a bit and moved his lips to whisper in your ear.

"I am serious. I love you, Michelle Ryann. I love you so much I hate myself for not imprinting on you, but . . . I actually don't worry too much about it. Though I am sorry I didn't mention it sooner. I-" But that was were you cut him off as you grapped his face between your hands. Your breathing was ragged by now and you stared at him, still in mild disbelief. Your heart was racing and honestly you wished he had just shut the hell up. It wasn't like you didn't like it, hell you felt like crying, bursting with happiness and just kiss him. Seth loved you. He loved _you_. Your chest swelled and you felt sick. Sick because you hadn't realized it before. Realized how much you already loved him yourself. Him, your best friend. Who had just told you, you aren't destinated to be. Because of some stupid wolf thing. You shook your head wildly again, silently wishing you could go five minuts back. Or maybe a hour back before you stupidly asked him to explain anything. If you could just stop worrying so much.

"I . . ." You had no idea what to say or what to do. What if you decided to give it a go anyways and he then suddenly happened to imprint on another girl. He would leave you. What if you would break? What if you . . . You wanted to just let yourself go and stop thinking about what ifs. It wouldn't change a single thing about how you felt anyways. If, not what if, but _if _it came to that, you just had to find a way to cope with it. At least you would know he never did it intentionally, but no. You couldn't live with him belonging to another girl than you. You were already to deep. You had already pushed far beyond the bondaries of friendship, the only thing that kept you above water now was him. If he ever let you go, you would drown. "I love you too, that's why . . ." The first tear broke free and trailed down your cheek, you closed your eyes to prevent further, but they found their ways regardless of your struggle to keep them at bay. The swell in your chest became too painful and you sobbed unstopably. You heard Seths sharp intake of breath as his arms found your back and he hugged you close. Somewhere deep in you, you wished he would let you go, push you away or something. That he would go home and end this. You had no idea how to finish the sentence you started. _That's why. . . Why you have to leave now?_ No. That wasn't what you wanted to say, you knew exactly what you wanted. You had already sacrificed so much. Much more than he should ever expect from you. Risking your friendship and the subtle love between you. No, there was no doubt and absolutely no way back now.

"That's why I don't care. M. . . Maybe if we are lucky your imprint-" That was were your voice broke and you almost choked. You bit your lip -hard- as you tried to swallow the lump in your throat, making yourself ready to finish what you started, but you never got so far. In the next moment all you could feel was his lips on yours. When and how he had flipped you over was beyond you, you only felt the softness of the couch beneath you and his weight on top. He pressed you down as he kissed you, almost violently, but sweet and desperate. He already knew what you were going to say, or he had an idea. _Maybe his imprint would never show up. _Maybe she wasn't even born yet and he could have a happy and long life with Michelle. _His _Michelle. Oh he really hoped so. The pain he had seen in your eyes, in your features, it was far too much for him and he swore silently to himself he would _never _make you feel that way again. Even if it meant that he had to stop phasing and become a regular human. A normal man, or well as normal as can be. Even if it meant he would never feel the magic of imprinting as the rest of his pack. With a few exceptions. He called it magic because he had always wanted it. Seeing it trough the eyes of the others had never been enough. He longed to feel it himself, but not anymore. He was in love, and this love was enough for him. Right now it was enough for him. This beautiful yet breakable young woman in his arms was what he wanted. He was almost cursing himself for never noticing just how wonderful she was. For so long had they been best friends. He understood how Jacob had felt about Bella, not only because he had seen it, but he dared to say this was even more powerful, because Michelle wanted him too. She wanted him so much she cried for him. He took a shaking breath as he parted, giving you enough space to breath yourself. Your eyes locked and he silently soothed you, his hand rubbed your arms and shoulders, his forehead pressed to yours and he kissed your nose softly.

"I don't want to ask that of you Miki. But I already told you. I am willing to risk everything for us. Even though it's easy for me to say that since in the end if it goes wrong you will be the one hurting. Probaly the most. But it doesn't mean I wont know what I had done. Hell. Did you ever hear the story about Sam Uley and my sister Leah?" You were still sobbing ever so slightly, but you managed to nod your head, not trusting your voice in this moment. You knew Sam Uley and Leah had been dating. They were highschool sweethearts, back then even you had had a hard time not to ogle at Sam. He was a great deal older than you, but it was hard being oblivious to his surreal looking. Leah expecially had been enchanted by that man and somehow she had managed to catch his interest. You still remembered how surprised you - and the rest of the school - had been when they announced their dating. Leah had been so happy. It was at that time you started to hang out more and more with Seth. Not just because his sister had less time for you, but because you actually liked him. Then the day came where Sam dissapeared. Everyone was worried, Leah expecially, but that was no surprise. She had been completely out of herself. The Leah you thought you knew was just gone. But then he came back, roughly two weeks after. You had never been able to put your finger on it, but he was completely changed as well, both in apperance as in behaviour. He stopped going to school, he even quit his job. Two days after his return had been when Leah had given herself to him, you were sure you were the only person she had ever told it to. Because she knew you never told and apparantly she had needed to tell someone. She hadn't seemed happy, though you knew she was. She really loved him and he loved her. Things were low for a while, Sam seemed to hang out a lot around the council. The said elder men spoke well of him and would shun everyone who didn't. Sam had always been known as being kind and helpful, but apparantly after his dissapearance he was even more liked. But that changed soon too. He became known as a rudy, as a deliquient, someone you couldn't trust. Leah was furious when she heard it and that was the first time you had seen her in a fight that wasn't with her brother. She had been seriously hurt and even now you regretted you ever told Sam. You had never seen fury consume anyone as it did with him. The way his body had trembled and quaked. It had been so overwhelming to watch that you had lost your balance. The next thing that happened was the Three boys who had been beating Leah was enrolled to the hospital, they weren't in danger, not even close. They just suffered some serious trauma afterward. Never stopping their cries of what a monster Sam Uley was. It wasn't until now you understood what they had meant. Leah had been mad at him, so mad she had actually refused to talk to him for a week. He hadn't been very popular with the council either. When Leah finally tewed up enough to let Sam talk to her the council had forbidden him to see her, but he cheated. And then everything just got worse. Emily Young came down to visit. She and Leah were only second cousins, but as close as sisters. You had met Emily a few times, she was such a kind and sweet pretty girl. No one and you meant really no one had foreseen what was going to happen. Even Sam had met her once, that was before the change though and Leah and Emily had kept contact trough letters. But there she was, and Sam met her. The next you remember being told was how Emily had been mauled by a bear on a hiking trip. Yeah. A bear named Sam Uley. Huh. And again, it wasn't until now you understood why. He imprinted on her. The pain that had filled Leah, consumed her til she no longer existed, the pain of betrayal and heartbreak. That pain had been part of your reason to move away from the reservation. It wasn't a secret, you were a big coward. When an offer came from your father you almost didn't hesitate. You would miss Seth and the rest of them. But you couldn't stand watching Leah anymore. How bitter she became, how hateful and hurt she really was. Seth had told you it was fine and that you would keep the contact. And you had, for a while. For a third time, it wasn't until now you understood why he broke the contact. The exactly same thing that had occured to Sam happened to him too. You remembered how he had told you about "Sams gang". That one by one young boys from the rez would join him. Tall, lanky standing at 6'7 almost _huge _young boys, who would run around shirtless and jump from cliffs. But it had never been a gang. It was a _pack._ A pack of wolves. You had told Seth to be careful and he'd just laughed at you. And then you lost the contact. When you heard from him again, even though it was just over the phone, he was a completely different person. And now you were here. In love with him.

You had two options. Only two options you could think of. Either you told him goodbye and broke the contact completely, or you decided to take the risk. Option one was the last one you wanted to take. But it was in more ways than one probaly the best. More than two options it was two levels of pain. The easiest one and the hard one. If you decided to let him go now, you would save yourself from seeing him with another girl. Save yourself from the pain that would come if he ever imprinted, no matter how long it would take. But one thing would always haunt you beside the heartbreak and loss of his friendship. The fact that you would never know if you _could_ had been happy. He was like a wandering time bomb. It could happen tomorrow or next week or in 10 years as in 30. The more time you spend with him the deeper you fell, the tighter you would hold on to him. And if you decided to hold on now and take the risk, the deeper pain would befall you theday he was no longer yours. Could you take it? Would you be strong enough to move on did it happen? You couldn't help thinking about Leah, it wasn't the same situation, but the pain would be the same. You had heard about Sam and Emilys wedding, Leah would be a bridesmaid. How she could be so strong you had no idea, but in that point she was your role model. At least you knew who to confine in did it go so wrong. Though you knew you didn't desurve it, when Leah had needed a friend the most; You ran away with your tail between your legs. You betrayed her. Betrayed yourself. If you suffered it would be your own problem. You took another heave of breath, locking your gaze with Seths once again. He looked worried, after he had mentioned Leah and Sam you had went completely still, your eyes averted and your breathing almost stopped. Looking at him like that make you realize something else. Seth. He had been with her and seen how she coped with it from the start. He hadn't been able to tug his tail between his legs and run away. Leah was his sister and he had had to see her in such pain everyday. And their mother Sue. Somehow that made it all clear to you. All doubt left and you had taken your decision. This was it; You would never run away again. Forcing a weak smile you cupped his face in your hands and kissed his lips.

"I'm done running away Seth. I love you. We already crossed the fine line of friendship and comes the time where I have to watch you leave with . . . Another girl-" You swallowed heavily and saw him open his mouth to respond, but you cut him off with two fingers against his lips, smiling wider. "If that time comes, all I want is that we remain friends. Deal?" You were a little proud of yourself, the swelling in your chest had finally ceased and you could breath much smoother. You saw him watch you varily, but with a small smile of his own he nodded once before he ducked and catched your lips in his.

"Deal."

**End of Chapter Three.**

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**A/N: **_It is a little shorter than the last chapter, but the story is heating up and personally this is my favorite chapter so far ^^ I hope you liked. Please review :D_

**Boom#**


	4. Back home in La Push

**A/N: **_Chapter Four as promised :D I am a speedy author XD This is my shortest chapter so far, sorry bout that ;v; But you can't write more than you're inspired to. The next chapter will be longer and more exciting ;D You're finally meeting the wolf pack (And the Cullens) But most importantly; Embry. So stay tunned and look out for Chapter 5 8D !_

**Disclaimer: **_I no own anything ;v;_

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LETTING GO.**

Is never Easy.

Seth/Reader. Ebry/Reader.

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**Chapter Four:**

**Back home in La Push.**

You groaned as you stumbled over the just polished floor. Having wood instead of carpet had its good sides as well as bad ones. You would have to clean it more often as the dirt was more apparant and clearer to notice, but at least cleaning wooden floors was way easier than cleaning a carpet. And here you was, just finished after two and half a hour hard work. Seth out in town by himself - forced by you, by the way - and now it was all in vain. Fuck. That. Fucking. Shit. And why was it in vain? Because you had just poured yourself a nice hot steaming cup of coffee; Something you always did after hard work. And as clumsy as you was you got halfway over the floor when you stumbled over nothing and now your cup was half full as the rest now mared your beautiful dark woodened floor. Even darker was the splotch, wet in the middle. Little did it help that you on the way to get the dishcloth at the sink knocked over the bucket with dirty water, making your own pool in the middle of your floor. Brilliant. Just fucking brilliant. Cursing words that would put every naughty child to shame you pulled out your rack of towels and started to dry the water slash coffee off before the wood would swallow it. You wasn't interested in fungus or the like. Mentally trying to remember where you put your hair dryer you heard the click of the door and just as you thought it couldn't get worse Seth had returned. Not that you wasn't happy to see him. You were _always _happy to see him. Expecially ever since you both decided to go for it and become a regular pair. Everything had just worked out perfectly from there. You were still surprised whenever you thought it over. It was so strange, you weren't just good together. You were _perfect _together. That stupid wolf thing about imprinting was so wrong; If it couldn't see the sparks between you. Not just the sparks, you were really like made for each other. With a heavy sigh you scrubbed the floors harder, desperately hoping he wouldn't notice, but as you heard his footsteps come to a halt you knew it were too late. Luckily you had your back to him so you wouldn't have to face him, but you weren't able to stop the urge from trowing the rolling empty bucket at him when his laughter bellowed trough the room. Of course it didn't hit him as he easily dogded it before joining you on the floor, hitting his fist repeately down against the floor, shaking with laughter. Pfft, come one. He was laughing like this was the best joke of the year. Of the century. Funny. Just freaking funny.

"Why is it - laugh - that everytime I leave you alone - laugh - you always mess something up?" Why hadn't you knocked over a few more buckets? The towels didn't go far as you trew them at him. And now you were out of amo. With a growl you pushed yourself off of the ground and slapped him over the head as you passed him. Sitting on the dirty floor had ruined your pants and you went to the bathroom to take them off along with the rest of your clothes. Could as well take a nice long shower, was usual the best cure when you were pissed. You weren't in a hurry as you soaped yourself in and took your time to wash yourself. You wasn't sure how much time it took, but when you stepped out and wrapped yourself in your big white fluffy bath-towel you could smell the mouth watering scent of cooking from your small kitchenette. So Seth had decided to play nice. Well you guessed you could forgive him for now. Thinking about it, he was right. You were so clumsy you always messed one or two things up. It was so unfair. He was so huge but way too graceful. You had noticed when you walked around with him out in the streets or in the park, one moment he was beside you the other moment he was gone and as you went around and looked for him he would scare the hell out of you by taking your hand or speaking from behind you. You seriously had no idea how he did it, but whereever he went it was completely soundless. The steam from the shower filled your bedroom when you opened the door and headed straight for your closet. It was pretty late already so you decided just to pull on your pajama. You picked out a matching pair of bra and panties and a yellow shirt and gray sweat pants for tomorrow and put them aside. Digging deeper in your drawers you grapped a fluffy pair of socks - in the hideous colour of plum-purple, but you loved them - and pulled them on along with your plain white pajama in soft cotton. You expected to see Seth at the counter by the stove, but you blinked when you realized he was in the hallway, talking on the phone. His voice was low and you understood no word, but his words seemed rushed and you detected some worry in them. In order not to disturb him you went to the stove and looked down into the pot with stew. Uhm, it smelled absolutely delicious. It was Seths best dish, he was a pretty decent cook actually - not as good as you, nuh-uh - but he had managed to surprise you a few times. Expecially when he just mixed stuff randomly together like this meat stew. Of course it wasn't just completely randomly picked. You wouldn't let him destroy good food like that unless you knew _he _knew what he was doing. Grapping the wooden spoon you circled it around in the pot before you took the deckle and put it on top, turning the heat down on one. Now you would leave it to simmer and then in about five minuts it would be ready to eat. You took the pot with rice off the stove as well and seperated the water from the rice. You had no dining table, but you usually ate at the coffee table anyways. Grapping two plates and two forks you placed it at the table and headed back for the cups, but that was when Seth entered the room. His face was pulled in what looked like a torn between a scowl and concern. His brows where almost touching the brigde of his nose and he cursed wordlessly under his breath. You had stopped in track and stood there with two cups, watching him with blinking eyes, not really sure if you should ask what was up. His gaze met yours and immediately his face relaxed, as well as the tension in his shoulders and back. You watched him heave a sigh before he strolled over to trow himself down on the couch, closing his eyes and he inhaled and exhaled a few times.

"Leah called." Really? You hadn't heard the phone ring at all, but you had been engaged in thoughts as the water ran down in cascades over your head, so you shouldn't question it. You didn't respond because you figured if you stayed quiet he would continue on his own accord. Anyways, what would he expect you to say to that? "Mothers health has gotten worse. They had Doctor Errald over for a visit, but not even he could find out what's caused it. He presumed-" Seth snorted at that as he opened his eyes, he looked quite annoyed by now as he flexed his jaw and took another deep breath. "-that she had a normal cold, but she broke down a hour ago, coughing, apparantly she couldn't breathe. Leah is worried and she wants me to come home." You could see the apologizing look in his eyes, he wanted to go home too. Oh no. Not that he wanted to go home, you could understand that perfectly well. You knew how close he was to his mom, expecially after the loss of his father. You felt the worry fill you, even though he was almost 18 loosing his mother too, it was too much in too short a time. With a sharp inhale of your own you plastered a smile on your lips and closed the distance from where you stood over to the table and placed the cups down, before walking around and seating yourself beside him. You didn't move when he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer as he kissed your cheek. "Poor Sue." You turned to face him. "The earliest train departs at 10AM, if we get up at 8 we can get breakfast before we leave. By foot it takes half a hour to the station. We just have to pack tonight." Your smile widened as his eyes dilated and his mouth parted. You had to fight the urge to push your palm against his jaw and snap it shut. For a while he just stared at you, obviously replaying what you just said in order to get it right. As realization filled him you almost laughed of the huge grin that spread across his face. So it finally dimmed.

"You said **we**! You're coming with me! . . . Right?" As he added the 'Right' at the end you couldn't help yourself and broke out in soft laughter. Nodding your head you kissed his cheek and you felt his arms flex around you before you found yourself in his lap, his lips on yours as he ravished you with his sweet mouth. You giggled softly against his lips as you felt his hands feel you up, moving over your curves as they had done so many times before. You could almost _feel _how happy he was. It was radiating off his skin and as he broke the kiss he sighed with obvious contentment. "Thank you so much, Miki." His hand mused trough your hair and you tilted your head in silent question, but he just shook his head, grinning widely at you. "Nevermind. Just thanks." You shrugged then and went to wrap your arms around his neck, once again you let him consume you in a kiss.

You both ate in silence, even the TV was turned off for a chance. Normally you would insist it ran in the background, expecially because when you usually both sat together in the couch you did very little TV watching as all your attention was on each other, so the Television was solemly there for the only purpose of drowning your moa- ehm voices. The walls were a little thin after all. Seth finished before you and you felt a little uncomfortable when you noticed he watched you without even blinking. His face was calm, but many emotions ran trough his eyes, only a few of them recognizeable to you. Love, lust, worry, happiness and even sadness. He was probaly thinking about his mother. When you finally finished you pushed your plate aside and as on cue Seth hauled you into his lap and placed his lips on your throat. You swallowed thickly as you closed your eyes and hummed softly. His hands moved softly against your tighs, his thumbs drawing circles trough the fabric of your cotton pajama. One of your own hands explored his back, mesmorizing every muscle over and over as your other hand waved into his short cut hair. Seth had always had short hair, as far as you remembered, though it was a little longer now than you remembered. You liked it like this, though it was shaggy it suited him just nicely. When he started to nip your skin you gasped and your fingers fisted his hair as both hands stilled. He broke away then and pulled your chin down to face him, he was smiling now.

"It's getting late. We should pack and get some sleep, unless you feel up to some; Humm, you know what I mean." His grin was wide and you rolled your eyes. The libido of that man was unbelievable! But who were you to complain? Seth was the best thing that happened to you since you discovered the perfectness that was cinnamon rolls. God you could eat those non-stop and forever. He raised a single brow as he watched you, waiting for your decision, though he was already pretty sure of the answer. "So, Miki, you think you can handle it?" You shot him a perverted grin before you jumped off his lap and dragged him up and along by his wrist. Pack first, then bed. The dishes could wait til tomorrow, you just had to remember setting your alarm. Closing the room to your bedroom once inside, the door closed with a loud thud and you pushed him down on the bed.

"Why do you ask?"

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You couldn't believe it! You had actually overslept! You groaned and cursed yourself to hell and back again as Seth sat on the floor against the wall, watching you as you ran around in panicking circles, hauling this and that and what else you needed. Already two heavy back packs were placed beside him and he knew what you actually searched for was your wallet and house key. Of course it was the most important stuff that had to get lost when you needed it the most. Sometimes he wondered if your luck weren't worser than his. Which would explain why he even _had _bad luck when around you. It was rubbing off. But then again, life was funnier this way. He dogded a flying remote control as he chuckled and got up, grapping the back packs and moved them into the hallway. You had both nonchalantly over heard the beeping of the alarm clock this morning and hadn't awoken til 8:55AM. Last night you had been too engrossed in each other that you had fallen asleep before packing. This had been doomed to happen, but Seth knew that as long as he could stay positive and leave you to do the frekaing out, then at least one of you could stay cool and he was determined it would work out, no need to stress. He knew better than to tell you though, he was kind of happy with every limp on his body and didn't had the urge to loose any of them because he got you too mad. He smiled when he heard your cry of triumpf as you found the house keys. You had roughly 20 minuts til the train would depart and you already called a cap. But you desperately needed to find your wallet or you couldn't pay the driver. Seth had said he got enough money on him, but you refused. Maybe he was your boyfriend now, but you had your female pride, no matter how stupid it was. You had emptied every drawer located in your appartment still without any luck. With an exasperated sigh you sunk down on the floor and felt like crying. Seth scooped you up into a hug and you were just about to bite his head of when he waved your thick black wallet in front of your nose. Disbelieving you glared at it, before you turned your gaze to him. Your eyes trew daggers at him as they narrowed, silently demanding him to explain just _where _the hell he had found it and _how_. With a low chuckle he handed it to you and placed you down on your own two legs, his hand motioning towards the television. Realization filled you and you blushed ten shades of red. Of course. You should have known it was the most obvious place of them all, expecially because first now you remembered placing it there. And why had you placed it there? Because you always stared at your TV and you wanted it to be some place easy to locate. God, could life get more embarrassing?

Huffing you stalked past him and grapped your jacket and handbag, making sure to put the wallet down inside before you managed to misplace it again or forget it. As Seth grapped the bags you got the door and waited til he was out before closing it and locking.

And finally, here you were. The cap drive had been unbelieveable slow and you had more than once treathened the driver that if he didn't speed up you would - the rest is censured for the sake of little kids. - Seth had chuckled non-stop, only adding fuel to you already burning mood. Just in the aproximaty of Five minuts before departure you arrived, trew some money - too much, but whatever - at the driver and hauled Seth trough the station. By the view of the growd you almost fell down on your knees scremaing at God just why he made you suffer like this; But Seth had calmed you with a sweet kiss and told you he'd get the tickets. You waited for him by the train and just in time he was there - scaring the crap out of you as usual - and you boarded the train. You had found a nice two-person seat and made yourself comfortable, taking the spot by the window so you could look out at the scenery. To be honest you hated traveling with train. So much. There was always too many people and so much noise, but having Seth there did definitely make the trip a load time better. Soon enough you drifted off into a light slumber, using Seths shoulder as pillow as he cooed softly in your ear, his hand carressing your leg. You woke what felt like Five minuts after by a long ding and the message trough the train caller that the last station of Forks, Washington was approaching. Seth chuckled at your bewildered face and your messed up hair. You was far too tired to even glare at him or be annoyed. You felt a light nugde on your arm and looked up at him, he was obviously speaking now, but you couldn't make out even half of his words. Your brows furred and you felt like frowning. Another light chuckle came from him and he kissed your forehead.

"You're adoreable when tired, Miki. I was just saying we should get out stuff and wait in the hall. I called Leah from you cell phone by the way, would have asked, but. . ." He shrugged and you blinked, feeling lazy. Rubbing your eyes you stiffled a yawn and got up from your seat, Seth mimicked you and helped you out in the aisle before he grapped your heavy bags and ruffled your hair. You glared at him, but shot him a grin as you walked ahead of him into the aisle. "Will Leah come to pick up us?" You didn't bother to turn and look at him, you knew he was just behind you anywas. And how come you knew that? Because you didn't hear or feel anything, could only be Seth. "Nope. Sorry, she's staying with Mom, she was enrolled to the hospital this morning. But she called Sam for me. I had hoped Jacob had time, but he's at the Cullens with Nessie." He talked like you knew what he actually talked about. You understood why Leah stayed and you knew Sam as well as Jacob, just not that well. But Nessie? Seth had told you a bit about the Cullens, or no he hadn't, but he had mentioned them before, you just never asked for more. Maybe you should, he seemed pretty familiar with them.

"The Cullens?" You finally turned to look at him as you leaned against the wall in the small hallway, there was only two other people beside you and thank god. Seth himself was taking up enough space for three with those back packs. You noticed the stares you got from people around you, not only those standing close by, but from the wagon. Various glances trough the glass doors, mostly girls checking out you handsome boyfriend. You felt a pang of jealousy, but made up for it with closing the space between you as you wrapped your arms around his neck and gave him a long warm kiss on the lips. He smiled at you and nodded his head, he noticed how you glared down the wagon and had to hold back a chuckle. He wasn't stupid, he felt the looks from the girls too, but he was more or less used to it. It was still cute how jealous you got. "Yeah, Doctor Carlisle Cullen and his family. Before you ask; Mother got enrolled to his hospital, Leah said he would personally take care of her. Since the regular doctors have no clue what she's down with, we figures Carlisle have a better chance." His words brought you out of your glaring state and you blinked back up at him. You felt curious but also a bit confused about how he just explained that. Corking a brow you half smirked at him. "You said _Regular _doctors. So, is this Carlisle Cullen some kind of **super**-doctor?" He laughed at you and you shook with him as he quaked, bending a bit. "I guess you could say that. When there's a little less people I'll explain it all to you, though I can't tell you exactly what he is, but you're quite a great guesser." He winked with that and you felt yourself blush. So you gathered the Cullens were inhuman too. Sighing to yourself you wondered just how many of the fairy tales you've laughed at for being so unreal was actually true. "If we're lucky they will allow me to take you to meet them." He was looking over your head now and out trough the side door window. It was around midday already, being 1PM almost. You turned from him and rested your back against his chest as he wrapped his arms around you. It had been so long since you had been back in Forks, just as long as it had been since you were in La Push. You knew if you ever went to Forks you'd have to force yourself to go visit in La Push too, but you had really been too much of a coward. You bit your lip as you closed your eyes and just then the train stopped and as you opened your eyes so did the doors open. Seth was faster than you and slid around you easily as he grapped your hand and dragged you with outsite, before the angry mob of passengers had the time or chance to run you over. People could be so scary when in a hurry.

You felt a strange force of nostalgia wash over you as you walked hand in hand down the streets of Forks, away from the station. Seth said Sam would pick them up at a local Café, there was not a chance to find a parking lot at the station at this time of day. Though this was a small town it as always extremely busy at certain times of the day. Seth borrowed your phone again and this time he called Sam directly. On Leahs number, so he had apparantly borrowed the phone from her. Seth said it would take a bit so you should go ahead into the Café and order some breakfast since you hadn't gotten any yet. You felt a little light headed and agreed without much fuss, you stomach was empty and it growled lowly at you. You watched Seth talk with Sam on the phone trough the glass window, a blond haired waitress came to your side. She had mushy green eyes, not the pretty kind and a sort of plum nose. She was also covered in freckles and looked a little out of place in this small yet classy Café. You stopped staring at her and ordered some french toast and orange juice. Make that a lot of french toast. You knew the appetite of your lovely boyfriend well enough. Shortly after the food arrived - you had to praise them, that was fast - Seth joined you as he sat down across, grapping you hand in the progress and kissed the tips of your fingers. You noticed the waitress ogled at him and shunned her away with a hiss.

"Easy now, babe. It's not their fault I'm hard to look away from." You turned your hiss at him instead and grapped a toast-wich, filling your mouth before you could curse at him. He could at least be a little modest about it, yeah okay he was quite _the _looker, and you was pretty sure - no, you _knew _- a lot of girls was envious of you already. Just too bad for them, you wouldn't share. Only a single french toast was left as the noisy truck pulled up. It was a black Van kind of truck. You actually liked the look of it pretty much. Seth managed to grap the last toast from under your nose before he got up and headed outsite with your bags. You noticed how cheerfully he greeted the man who just stepped out from the truck and went to pay for your meal. You hurried outsite, but stopped just in the doorway. Sam Uley. He didn't look much different from the last time you saw him, though he was wearing a shirt **and** shoes for a change. His eyes fell on you and you flinched, but when he smiled you felt the usual blush cover your cheeks whenever a good looking boy would look your way. It was a girl thing, you couldn't help it. But you heard Seths cough and saw him stare at you with a raised brow. Apparantly he liked you ogling at other guys - friends or not - just as much as you liked it when girls ogled at him. Sticking your tounge out at him you walked down the few steps to get to their site and Sam was politely enough to shake your hand before he went to open the side door for you.

"Thank you." You said with a cunning smile, your lips a bit pursed. Quite flattered of the gesture and you saw Seth roll his eyes before he littlerally pushed you inside to haul himself in beside you after trowing the bags in the back of the truck. Sam was already seated at the drivers spot and you noticed just as awestruck he was just as graceful and soundless as Seth. Damn Wolf genes. On the way to La Push only Seth and Sam chatted, and quite lively may I add. You'd think Seth had been away from his home and friends for more than two weeks. You closed your eyes trying to block out their voices and concentrated of the sound of the engine instead, how it growled when Sam would change the gear and how smooth it sounded everytime you rounded a corner. What a great vehicle. You realized you had been nodding off when the sweet sound of the engines musical roar was cut off and the car came to a halt. You blinked feverously a few times and felt a warm hand on your arm, looking up only to meet Seths gaze. "We're here, Miki." You blinked another few times before he dissapeared from before you and left the view from the forest in the background and a few houses to spot. La Push. Finally back. You felt the butterflies flutter rather violently in your belly and feared for a moment they would eat up all your courage, but when you felt a warm hand in your and saw Seths blinding smile, how happy he was, you couldn't push down your own smile, as weak as it might be. He pulled you a bit closer into a loose hug and kissed your temble. Sam said something you didn't quite hear before he grapped your bags and dissapeared into the house closest to you. You looked up to meet Seths gaze and his smile was much kinder as he whispered softly.

"Welcome home."

**End of Chapter Four.**

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**A/N: **_Please review ^^ Thank you._

**Boom#**


	5. Say it with a Muffin

_**ATTENTION ATTENTION! **13,031 words! OMG! That is by far the longest chapter ;D Huhuhuhu, I am very pleased!_

**A/N: **_Yaaaaay! Finally chapter Five is out :DDD ! I hope you're just as happy as me, lol. Now for a fact I know a few more than those who review read this and please; PLEASE leave your comment about this. Not only will it help me to know what you like or not; It will also serve as a boost of my confidence. Hey I need the feedback okay?_

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**Für Franzii;**

Hallo meine Liebe! :)

Zut mir leid dass ich deine nachricht nicht beantwortet habt.

Ich hab nur 2 stundem am Tag zu schreiben und ich weiss das du weisst das dieser gesichte nun mal eine priorität hat ;D Ich möchte dich Danked SOOOO serh für das du immer einem review für mich macht! Du hast gar kein shimmer wie glücklich das mir macht! Oder vieleicht doch ahahaha XD Wie auch immer! Ist SO toll und ich liebe dich so serh für das allein! Du bist toll ^__^ Ich werde versuchen deinem nachricht snell zu beantworten, bis dahin bitte geniesst das fümfte kapitel ;D

**Boom#**

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**LETTING GO.**

Is Never Easy.

Seth/Reader. Embry/Reader.

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**Chapter Five:**

**Say it with a Muffin.**

As the sun dissapeared down behind the horizon and the curtains of the night fell over the small town of La Push you shivered of the cool chills of evening air against your skin. Crickets ermitted in their music and a lonely owl sang its wakening song. Soon it would be time to hunt. Your lids felt a little heavy, already tired from a long day and you stiffled a soundless yawn. You pulled your legs up against your chest as you scooted your jacket tighter around you. You sat on the porch to the little house seclurely hidden in the trees. Your eyes were swollen of crying and your nose was running. How feminine. That was why you sat out here, alone by yourself. You would hate it if he saw you like that, yet you couldn't help it. It felt so wrong. You looked to the sky and tugged a few strains of hair behind your ear. There was no moon tonight, it was all just completely black. Just like the hole in your chest. Silently you wished the moon were there, that it would come out from its hiding and shine on you with the rays of hope. Your jumped a bit when the front door went up and the dim fake lights from inside creeped out and hit your eyes so you had to squint them. A soothing voice reached your ears and you fell a soft hand on you cheek before you were pulled into a light embrace. The womans hair tickled your skin and you smiled subconsiously. Emily Young was such a kind being. You felt yourself lean in closer into her arms and she continued to coo softly in your ear. Much like a mother who tried to sooth her child that just fell and got hurt, or just cried because it knew no other way to communicate. You were a little happy that Seth had left to join Leah in the hospital, to see his mother. Though you cursed yourself for wishing he was here, as little as you wanted him to see you being weak, you still needed him. His comfort. Emily whispered something in your ear and you only barely recognized the words, but with a nod you complied and let her help you up. It took some effort, your legs felt heavy like lead, but you were finally standing - if not a little wobbly - on your feet with Emilys support and she draped your arm over her shoulder. Slowly you walked with her inside and she placed you down on the couch before she told you she would get the tea. First now you noticed how cold you actually were. Freezing cold. Shuddering as you tried to remove the thin jacket you trew it aside and grapped the blanket beside you with shaking hands. Emily returned with a small tray with two cups and a middle sized teapot, some sugar and a little cup with milk. She sat it down on the wooden table before she helped covering you in the blanket, wrapping it tight and kissed you hair. You had only been here for about Nine hours, but she was already treating you like family. You smiled weak in thanks as you took the small cup she offered you, it was hot between your palms. You sat like that in silence for a while, your body tempature going back to normal and you inhaled deep. The tea was a little bitter, but strong and good. It wasn't coffee, but as much as you had always disliked tea, you actually liked Emilys bitter black tea more than your usual cafe-laté. Sighing in content you smiled to the taller woman who sat her own cup down, easily detecting your mood had improved. You were happy she hadn't asked what was wrong, you didn't like it when people pryed in your personal emotions. You just had a little depression, that was all. It was no ones fault, you were just feeling a little stressed and overwhelmed.

After all it had been a little over two years since you last sat your foot in La Push. You hadn't even told your parents yet, though you were kinda sure they wouldn't dissaprove, they had tried to get you to go back - at least for a visit - so many times. You still had a little family here. An aunt, her children, her husband and two uncles. Twin brothers, only the oldest by five minuts where married and had a son. A son around your age actually, maybe more Seths age. It didn't matter, you never socialized much with them anyways, so it was best if no one told them you were here. Actually you weren't even sure they would know who you were. It didn't matter. You felt out of place and only happy that Emily at least was so nice. And Sam Uley. He was the one who had picked you and Seth up by a local Café and took you straight to the house of him and his fiancé. It was the first time you saw them both in a very long time. Only having met Emily once - before the accident - it was a shock to see the scars maring her face, though you had already known about it. The impact of seeing was just stronger than you had expected. Still it never changed her unbelievable beauty, you were almost sure Sam had seen it too, in your eyes as you looked at her. You had been happy Leah hadn't been around. You had always believed Leah to be the most beautiful girl of all you knew, but after seeing Emily. Yes she was scarred, but it wasn't the beauty of her face, it was the shine in her eyes, her soul. It was so unbelieveable and you had noticed how grateful Sam had looked at you, his eyes kind as he nodded in appreciation. Seth had been more or less just as oblivious as always and Emily confused, but you had felt the blush creep up and just crooked a smile at him. Almost immediately after, Seth had announced he would leave. The hospital of Cullen was in Forks and he was honest when he said he wasn't sure when he would return. Their own house was empty now and he had been grateful when Sam offered that you could stay by them for the night. Emily had given you a small hug as her shinning smile almost blinded you. It made you feel good, they were nice people.

"Would you like a bite to eat?" You hadn't realized when Emily had gotten up and she was now standing behing the kitchen island, holding a bigger tray with various cake types. Muffins, shortcakes, cupcakes and even a few cookies. Chocolate tip cookies; Your favorite. You smiled and nodded as she came over and sat the tray down on the little space left on the small wooden table. Almost as if she already knew what you wanted she handed you a cookie with the chocolate bits and you eagerly bit into it. Delicious. Emilys cooking was amazing, but then again you figured seeing as it was almost all she did, besides other housework. She was an imprintee after all. Sighing you placed the half eaten cookie down on the table and tugged the blanket tighter around yourself. Emily noticed your sudden change, but was kind enough not to bugde in with wierd questions, probaly figuring she couldn't help you anyways. No. You were beyond help. You suddenly lost all appetite and felt like crying again. God, what wouldn't you do to be back in your appartment. When you told Seth you wanted to come you hadn't used your brain, that was for sure, but with a mental kick you shook your head and forced all the despair out of the backdoor. Hell no you wouldn't let this get to you. You were 19; A big girl. Your all time best friend was in love with you and you loved him. That was why you were here. His mother was sick and he needed your support. Leah needed your support; Better late than never right?

After forcing down a few cookies you told Emily thanks and exused yourself for the night. Emily had showed you the guest room you would be using earlier, with a small bathroom attached, no tub there but there was enough space to take a shower. You could really need that now, a shower and then off to bed. Trottling down the hall you found the door and was just about to open it to get inside when a warm hand found your shoulder. Startled as you were you spun around, happy that you didn't gasp aloud before you found yourself looking at Sam.

"You going to bed?" His voice was ruff, but kind and when you nodded your head he gave you a small smile before nodding himself as he turned around and walked down the hall. "Sleep well." He was hard to understand to times, but he wasn't completely anti social; He had just had a tough life, figures. Though you silently debated where the heck he had come from, you knew you and Emily had been the only ones here just moments ago. Sighing you heaved the door open and closed it, clicking the lock behind you before you trotted over to the comfortable bed and sat down on the covers. You tossed off your slippers and yanked the top over your head after you had tossed the jacket aside. Standing only to push down your jeans and kick them off you reached out for your back pack and found your beloved white cotton pajama. You put it on and jumped under the covers. Today you wouldn't bother with brushing you teeth, you were far too tired. For a while all you could think about was Seth. Just like you had decided only moments ago you would stop your stupid self pity and focus on why exactly you were here. You would be there for him; For both of them and as soon as they would allow it you would go with a visit Sue. You had always loved Sue and you hated the fact it was under these kind of circumstances you would see her again. You groaned as you hid your head under the comforter and closed your eyes tightly shut. If you kept blaming yourself this you would never get out of that depression. Seth would be able to detect it immediately and you'd have to fake your mood around him all the time. Damn, no future in that. Being so low on confidence sucked. With a sigh you turned and rolled over, eyes still shut and you yawned. Short after you were embraced by the thick velvet of slumber.

Tomorrow you would be strong.

* * *

**Embry POV.**

"Are you kidding me?" As usual Jareds voice was a little too high pitched and Embry found himself pressing his right palm against his ear. Several boys rolled their eyes as they watched - with half interest - as Kim got up with a humpf and spun around on her heel, sparing her bewildered boyfriend a single glance as she pursed her lips. "I am not. When you grow up you can come and apologize, before then I don't want to see you. Period." With a huff she barged out of the door and stalked down the roadway. Jared was standing exactly where she had left him, his eyes were wide and his mouth slightly agape. Paul who snickered earned a non-desurved kick before Jared trew his arms up and roared. "What the hell was that?" As if he had sensed it, Sam walked in trough the door and seized the boys up before he turned his gaze to Jared and told him to calm down, Paul was on the floor, still shaking with laughter, despite this situation was anything but fun. Embry was leaning his head on the table; Extremely bored and Quil was sprawled against the cotton cut couch, taking up all the space and more; Just as bored. This. Sucked. And bad. Just because Jacob had decided he would spend a few days at the Cullens to be with his _precious _Renesmee, they were now back under the comando of Sam. Just for a short while and at least it was better than putting up with Leah. Seths and Leahs mom had picked the perfect time to get ill, despite how unkind the thought all the boys felt glad to get a break from her. Lately she had just been worser than worse. Expecially after she learned she would probaly never be able to imprint.

Collin and Brady had been ordered to do the perimeter for a while, they were already big enough to take more duty which both boys seemed to appreciate greatly. Not even two months ago Brady imprinted on a cute local girl from Forks just a year younger than him and last week it was Collins turn. Apparantly his cousin had brought her best friend over for a family dinner at Collins parents place and **bam**. Now his cousin was pissed that her best friend was spending more time with Collin than her, well; Call it life or call it love. So now it was just him and Seth, Embry mused silently inside his head. Actually wishing he would be spared._ Period_. Like the last word of Kim just now. Paul snickered again and this time Embry joined him, Quil was looking lazy as his eyes gazed from Jareds glare to the two laughing boys, smiling a little. Sam broke the silence when he took a seat and started the procedure. Collin and Brady would return in a few hours, and he needed two to take the rounds at noon. All eyes immediately fell on Jared who first blinked for a while before he spat as he bolted from his chair. "Abso-fucking-lutely not! Kim just bailed me and I have no fucking idea why; So I am **not**doing anything before it's settled! Besides, I already told you yesterday; **Not to**_**night**_**.**" Embry rolled his eyes and rested his chin in his hand. Today was Lovers Day. **[1]** The fucking 20th of June. And just like every year it absolutely sucked. Why? Well he was single. And taking it, almost _all_of his friends had found their true "love" and he had not, he had to listen to all that crap. Not fun. And whoever he would run the perimeter with he would have to see the plans of _their _special night with _their _special someone. Ugh, someone please safe him. So the best would be to keep it low and not drag any attention so he could avoid being picked as a volunteer-by-no-choice. But no. He just couldn't help himself.

"You're so dumb, Kim got mad at you becau-" Jared cut him off with a well placed kick to the chair and a hard glare. As Embry hit the floor both Paul and Quil broke out in laughter and Sam heaved a sigh as he rubbed the brigde of his nose. "Don't! I didn't ask for your opinion you wise-crack! If you want to help me _you _do the perimeter tonight. Not like you have a girl waiting for you like we do." Ouch. That one _could_ have hurt. And at some point it did, but Embry usually didn't let Jareds ridiculous insults get to him. Slamming the chair hard against Jareds leg as he got up and hauled it to its place he mentally smirked when Jared whined before he flinched and stumbled down in an empty chair. "True. And I am also man enough to know my true responsibilities. The pack before everything." He earned a few hisses but Sam looked more or less pleased and Embry chuckled low before he continued as he looked over at his best friend - out of this bunch at least - and smiled broadly at him. "You agree right Quil? Whadda ya say? Shall we show them and get it done with?" Quil shrugged but was still smiling as he sat up straight, his feet dangling out over the armchair. "Sure we can, Em." He knew he could count on Quil. This Lovers cwap wasn't very appealing to him either, since Claire was barely 5 years old and he held no romantic feelings towards her. Yet. In 10 years Embry knew he would be on his own.

As everyone now agreed there was no reason to stay amongst each other more that neccessary. Besides it was getting rather crowded in the small kitchen of the Blacks. At least Billy was out, visiting Sue at the Hospital together with Chief Charlie Swan. Everyone knew the Chief had a thing for Sue. Usually they would hold their meetings in Sam and Emilys house, but Emily had chased them out because of her spring cleaning; or well chased and chased. Sam had told them before they even arrived that the meeting place was changed. But it was fine really, only Rachel and Kim had been there as they were nice enough to cook for them. But Rachel had left to do some last minut shopping and it had been Jareds fault Kim left, though he was still oblivious just what he had done to anger her. Forgetting her birthday, maybe that's why. Yes, today was also the birthday of Kimberly Connweller**[2]**. And she was turning 20, if that wasn't a reason to celebrate. At least it was better than the - snort - other thing;_Lovers Day_. So now he was walking along Quil down the dirt path towards the woods. There was still approximately 2 and half a hour left before they had to take over the duty of running the perimeter. Parting with Quil who would use the time to pick up Claire as she would arrive tonight; another reason why Emily was cleaning _today_, when she could have waited; really. They agreed to meet up at Emilys place later as that was where Claire would be spending her weekend.

But back to the matter at hand. For Embry this was one of the worst days ever.

So, why the 20th of June and whatever happened to all famous Valentines day? Pfft, well everyone knew Valentines day was invented by the chocolate makers to profit more from the sales. Lovers day was something completely different and part of their legends. This particular date was know for when their great ancestor Taha Aki found and married his soul mate. In right words this was the day of the imprints. Family and friends would gather and celebrate it, and later they would partake in different rituals. Gee. So. How come that past all these fucking years from over 100 years ago that the Quileutes could remember the date of the lovers and not the freaking name of the Third Wife? Well, that was beyond him. Somehow he got the feeling this was just a fraud, exactly like the stupid Valentines day. Man it sucked to be Quileute (Even as he was just half, by blood that is), two holidays a year to celebrate the loss of braincells as the sick men would woo and drool after stupid girls with too short skirts and their noses in the sky; _Noot good enough, Next! _Just like that stupid fairytale by that Danish author H. C. Andersen. Snorting Embry strolled down the pathway to her house, his hands securely hidden inside his pockets. He kicked a few rocks as he stared ahead on particulary nothing interesting. This day was already bad enough as it was, but he figured it couldn't get any worse. As the scent of Emilys freshly baked muffins as well as the scent of cleaning products, lemon and sea breeze, hit his nose he subconsiously sped up and already now he could see the front porch of the house. No Quil, but then again he was here early.

* * *

**Normal POV.**

You had gotten up early this morning, wether is was because of the pain that filled your head and back or the fact this place was unfamiliar as well as the bed, you had no idea. But you had brushed your teeths twice just to get out the bad taste of your morning breath. You really hated that. Breakfast had been quiet as you sat and watched Emily saunter around. You had asked her absent mindely where Sam was just as he entered the room from upstairs and you got your answer. You washed your plate off and rinsed it before placing it back in the cupboard just as Sam told he would leave for the pack meeting at the Blacks house. You looked away when he kissed Emily and she giggled. Their love was cute and everything, but the nauseating sick feeling of your last night depression was stuck in the pits of your stomach. So much for being strong. You heaved a sigh as you stretched and plastered a smile on your face as you turned to face Emily.

"Got any work for me?" Could as well help out. You hadn't heard from Seth yet, but silently hoped he would come and get you soon, maybe his absence was the whole reason for your stupid weak moments. After all it hadn't started before after he left your side. Damn, how more pathetic could you get? He was your boyfriend, not your life line, though to times it felt just like that. You would drown if he let you go. Emily smiled as she met your gaze and tapped her long finger against her chin, pondering with a wise-like smug look. At least someone had a nice day. "For a matter of fact I think I do. Would you mind getting the laundry? I need to wash it all and change it. Just bring it outsite for me okay?" You nodded and headed off to the first room, another guest room. You knew you'd be having guests tonight. Being half Quileute yourself you knew everything about this day, though for you it was just like any other day. it hadn't held any special meaning to you ever since you left La Push. It was a tribe thing, and without the tribe it was nothing. But this time you had Seth, and you actually felt the anticipation of the thought about spending this day with him. You quickly gathered all the sheets and covers and brought them outsite just as Emily had ordered, sauntering back inside you grapped a broom and began to sweep the floors. Emily was humming and smiled to you as she passed you with more laundry. The most of the morning went liek this. You cleaned the place trouhoughly and afterwards Emily helped you with baking your first load of muffins ever. You had to admit it, it was rather fun. Nay, that was an understatement; It was incredibly fun. You hadn't baked anything since you were 7 and that was in schools home class.

"That's right Miki, just bring the tray to the table. If I know the boys right they will be here in less a hour." With the boys she referred to the rest of the pack. It was like some sort of ritual of theirs to gather here and eat her stock of bakeries. So you would get to meet them at last. Again. You remembered a few of them already from school. You had had your toll with Jared once. When smaller he had found it unbelieveable fun to pick at you and steal your stuff and Paul. Well, you knew Paul just all too well and doubted he was less an ass now than he was last time you saw him. Even though Emily had assured you that after he imprinted; And on Rachel Black non the less, he had actually geared down quite a deal. And Jared had imprinted too. You found it too hilarious, because it was Kim. You had always liked Kim. She was sweet and knew a thing or two about fashion that was for sure, since she had always done everything in her might to get said jerk to notice her, and after his phasing it hadn't been a problem. You was happy for her, after an eight year crush; Well she desurved it, a nice price for all her struggles. A few of the names was unfamiliar to you though, boys you had never really aqquited much with. Like Collin and Brady. You knew Jacob Black and his cousin Quil Ateara of course. And Embry Call since you never saw those three without each other. It was rare. They just hadn't been anyone you ever hung out with. After helping Emily with stocking a few replies away and taking the last tray of muffins out of the oven you got company. You almost laughed as a pair of strong - warm - arms scooped you up and you recieved a hot kiss on your temble.

"Seth." You scoffed and pushed him a bit before you wrapped your arms around his neck and he grinned at you. "Missed me babe?" You stuck your tounge out at him as you shook your head. "Not the least!" Of course you had, but Seth rolled his eyes and is trademark smirk lit up his face. "Right." And then he kissed you, soft, short and chaste. You feelt yourself swoon a bit as he placed you back on the ground, Emily was watching you with a brow raised, her expression very adult and knowing and you blushed when you caught her gaze. She laughed along with Seth before she greeted him and asked how Sue was. At that you broke out in realization and your eyes widened. "Yes! How's Sue? And Leah? Didn't she come? Did she stay? How are they?" Seth had filled his mouth with a muffin and nearly choked in it before he swallowed hard and stared at you. "Easy now with the questions, Miki!" You closed your mouth with a snap and sat down on a chair across from him. Emily was washing a few tools off after the backing, but you knew she was listening. "Mom's doing better." He smiled as he said that and almost laughed when you sighed in relief. "Leah decided to stay with her, though Mom is trying to get her to leave. She says, and I quote; With you aorund _I _feel like the daughter." You smiled and laughed a bit, Emily joining you. That was so Sue and you could almost imagine Leahs expression. He was also looking much more reliefed himself and suddenly you felt just right. The previous depressing feelings all but vanished and left a nice warm feeling in your chest. It's like all you had needed was to see his smile again. How could you love a man so much? It was amazing.

"Em! These Muffins don't taste like yours, tried a new reciept?" He was leaning over the back of his chair as he looked to Emily who was drying her hands in a hand-towel. She smiled wisely and enchanged a small glance with you before she returned her gaze to Seth. "You don't like them?" At that your boyfriend snorted and grapped another one, already stuffing his mouth as he spoke non-chalantly. "Are you kidding me? T'is the best you ever made!" Your face heated up as you blushed ten shades of red and Emilys laughter bellowed trough the small room. Seth rose a brow as he looked between her and you, obviously not understanding the joke at all. "I am glad to hear that, because I didn't make them. I only assisted." With that she gestured to you before she placed the towel away and came to join you at the table, taking a muffin herself. You remembered when she had offered you to make them, mostly because she was too busy and she wouldn't bother you with mindless cleaning, she was very perfectionately about whenever she cleaned. it had to be spotless and then spotless again. You had tried to follow her reciepe very closely, but it glitched a few times, the first tray had been completely useless and Emily had laughed as she trew them out, but you hadn't given up and in the end it paid off. Seths face was blank and it was good he had already swallowed the mouthful or it would probaly be falling out of his open mouth. He blinked a couple of times as he stared at her, before his eyes then fell on you and you quickly averted your gaze, your face still burning hot and you cursed yourself that you couldn't help smiling.

"No way . . . Miki made these? Seriously?" Emily rose a brow at him as she munched at the golden brown chocolate bitted muffin. "Is it so hard to believe? She was actually very determined about it. Her first round was bad - make that _very _bad -." She stiffled a laugh and Seths expression began to return to one you remembered more. "But in the end it gave off amazing results, as you said yourself they're better than mine." He gave out a non-intelligent "Huuuh." Before he broke into a wide grin and shook his head. "Wow. I knew she could cook, but _bake? _That's a first isn't it Miki?" He wagged his brows at you and you restrained the urge to trow the entire tray at him, it was your hard work after all. Instead you scowled and stuck your tounge out again. Blushing when he bolted out of his chair and grapped your arm hauling you up before his face came dangerously close to yours and for a moment you thought he would kiss you, but he spoke instead; His lips almost touching yours. "Be careful with that tounge or I might just bite it off." His tone wasn't the least treathening, more like playful and lust filled and it gave you the chills. As Emily cleared her troath you blushed even darker - if possible - and yanked your arm out of his grip before you cursed his laughter and sauntered over to the front door. It was very warm today and the sun was out for a change. The ever rainy weather was something you had not been missing, but today was remarkably nice and you wouldn't need your jacket. You felt both pair of eyes at you and you turned just enough to face them. Both were question marks as to why you were heading for the door, and Seth actually looked a bit hurt. You hurried to smile as you shook your head. "The laundry, remember? It must be dry now." Emilys face lit in realization and she rose from her chair with a smile. "Oh yeah, I forgot all about it." The never forgetting Emily had actually forgotten such an important thing; And she had been the one telling you it would be dry around when you had finished baking. Seth seemed less bothered now and plummeted back down in his chair, grapping yet anouther muffin, before Emily smacked his hand as she passed him. "Safe some for your brothers, you know that." He shrugged with a smirk and ate it in one bite. Rolling your eyes you left trough the door right after Emily.

The hour passed fast and you found yourself behind the house, pressed neatly up against said house with a very hungry wolf between your legs as he violated your mouth with his own. His hands rubbing your tighs and he pressed against you rather roughly, rolling his hips making you moan dark like so many times before. You felt his smirk against your lips and you yanked him down towards your chest by his hair. Seth catched on easily as he latched himself to one of you breasts he had uncovered before. He had been so close to just rip your shirt and bra off, but you had managed to safe your garment as you did not wish to sneak past Emily with the possibility of fail and she would see you topless or in shreds. No way in hell that would happen. He hadn't looked happy, but when it came to what you wanted there wasn't much he could do. Greedily he sucked at your exposed flesh as you moaned and shuddered in his arms. You grasp on his hair became looser and you settled to run your fingers trough the short locks instead. So unbelievable soft. Humming softly as he licked your skin in between your cleavage and down your belly as he stuck his tounge down into your naval and you growled a bit. As good as it felt you was starting to feel impatient. You weren't a sex-addict or the like, but with Seth you were almost afraid that's what you would become. His low chuckle reached your ears - he was having fun - and he yanked your tigh-cut shorts down along with your panties. As to why you ended up in this situation with him was a longer story.

You had helped Emily with the laundry as the phone call came. It was Emilys sister calling that she would arrive with Claire a little laster than planned and she wasn't able to stay for long, so she would just leave after they hit the station. Claire was already determined to sleep over the entire weekend and first here it would be no problem to take care of her. Having Quil as permanent baby sitter - one who actually enjoyed every single moment of it - was a really good thing. That particular subject had you spit out your soda. Seth had explained it to you a while ago, but as simple minded as you were, you had forgotten it of course, so being reminded of it had you taken more aback this time than the first time. You had to remind yourself he wasn't feeling romantic feelings for her, so it wasn't pedophelia. It hadn't been the best part in Emilys plans though, since she had planned to pick up Claire in time to be back before Sam returned with the boys. It was a little past 12PM and they would be here at 12:45 to 1:00PM. The bon-fire and party at the beach wouldn't be before 8:00PM, but it had almost become tradition to meet up here and eat before they all would head down to the beach early and help with the preparations. Emily always had the help from Rachel, Kim and Sue, and even Leah, for the food. But Sue wasn't well enough and no one could force Leah to leave her side. There was other mothers too, but everyone came with their own food and in the end all would share it. So already last night Emily had started to prepare for it, and now everything just became that much more stressful. As nice as you was you had volunteered to do the cooking while she was away, she only needed roughly 15mins each way to Forks to pick up Claire, though Emily had said that Quil could do it by himself did it come to it. It was also stupid that two persons went to pick up a single girl, yet she had hoped to see her sister. It had been a little while since last. In the end you had both agreed Emily would start cooking down and you would finish up the laundry, then you would take over and she could get to go see her sister. She had needed some convincing, but at last she just smiled and thanked you.

So now here you was, in the back of the house, supposed to be gathering the rest of the laundry, but because Seth was slick he had noticed some of the linneds where still wet, so you would have to wait a little longer. Just then he had taken the chance to find the weak spot in your defence and in matter of seconds he had you against the wall, moaning for him. Complete pudding in his hands. As your shorts and panties kissed your ankles, you kicked the fabric off with one foot and immediately after he had your legs spread open and wide for him. The bottons on his jeans were opened in no time as he pulld the zipper, but then left his pants open like that as he fell to his knees. Your head started to spin when you saw him like that. It wasn't new for you, Seth had pleased you like this more than one time, but just thinking of how amazing it always felt you just became wetter. His chuckle became a little annoying as he gripped your hips, tugging himself in between and you was just about to snap at him to get on with it when you all but trashed as his wet tounge found your slick folds and he gave you a hot lick. A sharp breath of air was greedily swallowed as you bit your lip to withhold any cries of pleasure. Would be all too embarrassing if Emily heard you, or worse; Came to look what the noise where. Those thoughts were all gone by the point where his tounge was trusting deep inside you, as deep as it could go. You held his head with both your hands as you grith your teeths, cursing low of the urge to scream. You were so close. Seth grunted when he tasted the first drops of your release and just there he broke the contact with your body. You could have killed him. The noise of his pants sliding down went unnoticed as you felt fury fill you, he couldn't stop **now**! Not when you had been so close, but the emotions of anger was albeit forgotten as your body shuddered violently when he filled you up to the hilth. Everytime Seth penetrated you it had a certain impact on you and you couldn't help the cries anymore. He wasn't holding back as he found a pace, quick, hard and deep, grunting into your neck as he held your hips in a tight grip. This would be over within seconds from now, but neither of you cared. You were both so close to sweet release that nothing else mattered anymore. That was how sex was supposed to be, so overly consuming that you could forget the world and everything else around you. Time stopped, you ceased in existing. The only noises apparant was the sound of flesh hitting flesh as he surged into you deeper. He knew the exact moment when he hit your sweet spot, because you screamed his name over and over. At this point even he became worried about being discovered. Muffling your screams of pleasure with a kiss he grunted as he kept going, harder and harder, repeatedly into that soft spot of yours. Your eyes rolled back into your head as the sheer power of your orgasm rocked you body in quakes. You gasped for air as the sweet release washed trough you and you barely heard his groans and growls as he buckled into you a last time before he stilled and his release filled you. Slowly the world returned and time started again. Other sounds became clearer, the soft rustle of the wind in the leafs, the splashes of the small river running behind their house, Seths panting and your own.

Laughter and footsteps alerted you and you were impressed of how fast Seth managed to rip your remaining clothes off before he dumped you down by the river, grapping a washing cloth as started to scrub your body along with his. Confusement filled you, but soon enough you remembered what they was. Men and wolves. Seth had told you about their high senses, as smelling, seeing and hearing. It wasn't that he cared shit bout what they would say if they smelled the sex on you, better they knew you were his sooner than later, but he did it for you. You weren't an imprint and he would hate if you became known as his tempoary toy rather than what you were; His girlfriend. When he was satisfied he dried you off with one of the towels from the laundry and brought your clothes. As he pulled his own pants up and grapped his shirt you were combing your hand trough your messed up hair, still looking a little flushed and he couldn't help but smile with superity. He gleed in the fact he was the only one who had ever made you feel that way, at least this powerful, and could he help it he would stay the only one forever. Happy that the linneds where dry enough to take down you gathered the rest of the laundry and headed inside trough the backdoor ahead of him, taking the stairs up to drop off the garments in their rightful rooms. Finding your way in Emily and Sams house wasn't as hard as it had first seemed, already now you knew where most of things belonged and given some more time you would be able to find your way in the dark as well. Seth had told you he would take the front door and see you inside, with a soft kiss you had parted. So now after stashing the last laundries in the closets you went to your room to change. Deciding quickly to take a bath; Just to be sure, you dropped your clothes in the dirt-bag (for laundry) and headed out in the small cabinet and turned on the water. Feeling the hot water on your skin and in your hair, your face you sighed with content. It had been a quickie, but your little fun with Seth just then had completely removed the rest of your nerves. Now you would just have to finish up and get dressed before you would finally meet the rest of the pack, or well some of them. Even trough the loud noise of the running water could you hear their voices, their laughter and picking Seths out of them all was so easy it made you chest swell with pleasant warmth.

True love.

* * *

**Seth POV.**

He was so pleased with himself, now why shouldn't he be? Of all the time he had been alive he had never felt more lucky ever. Not even when he found out about the wolf genes, that had been awesome, but this was so much more. For the first time in his entire life was his confidence endless and his spirit high. He couldn't wait til the moment you would be coming down the stairs and he would introduce you. You were by far the most beautiful, stunning female he had ever met. Okay sure, he hadn't always thought of you that way, but people change and he had always found you special, adoreable even. And now he was so in love that not anything anyone could tell him would be able to change that. He was almost sure that even if he imprinted he just wouldn't stop loving you. It already felt like he had found his soul mate, his true love. It _had _worried him that he didn't imprint, but now it was all just the same. For as long as you wanted him, which he knew could be forever, he would be there for you. He would love you, _make _love to you and make sure you never felt any sort of pain. Psycically or emotionally, non of it. He ran a hand trough his hair as he reached the porch and smirked. He could already hear the boys inside, fighting over the Muffins. The Muffins _his _Miki had made. His Michelle. For a moment he wondered if they would even be able to taste the difference as he heard Pauls outbreak towards Emily, almost the exact same he had asked her just about a hour ago and he silently laughed to himself. So they _could_. Walking to the door he noticed not all of them were there. Jacob was missing, obviously since he was spending time with Nessie and Collin and Brady hadn't returned. Sam was standing at the counter by Emily, chatting low. Quil was looking restless in his chair and he hadn't touched the bakeries one bit. He was definitely anxious to get going and get Claire. Seth figured Emily had called him to tell they were coming later than expected, poor Quil didn't look the least happy about it. Jared and Paul was fighting over a Muffin, even though the tray was still stuffed with them, enough for everyone, but just as usual they had to be difficult. He looked around an extra time and noticed Embry was missing too, that was wierd since that guy was usually always the first here. Everyone in the pack knew about the state of his mother. Being home with her was never nice and Embry always tried to find exuses to stay out of home, being by Emily and Sam was his most used one. She was the exception; Embrys mom was the only parent who didn't know about her sons phasing. Embry had told countless of times it would probaly kill her if she found out and she was already now in a bad enough shape. They weren't wealthy and they lived in a crappy small hut on the verge of falling apart. There was always ditry no matter how much Embry cleaned, and the smell was so bad it was a wonder _she _could stand living there, but she almost never left the place. Only to go out and waste money on alcohol in bars. Naturally it was Embrys money. He had two part-time jobs just to be able to fend for her over use and to have food on the table, that's why he mostly used to eat out, with his friends and pack. Or struck down a deer in the woods during the guarding hours. No one minded having him over, but Embry wanted no pity, the first person ever to as much as just thinking how sorry they were for him (and he would know) that person wouldn't even live to regret it. Seth sighed as he rboke in trough the door and immediately all eyes were on his form, well beside Quil who was still sitting there in his suffering, sighing over and over, like a teenage girl in love with someone she couldn't have. Something that looked rather pathetic. Jared was the first to greet him as he waved his hand, smiling with his mouth full of muffin and Paul hit his head so he nearly bit his tounge and spit it out. Despite Pauls roaring laughter, Jared not as much flinched as he got up and grapped another Muffin.

"Dude, who's 'Miki'? Em says she made these and that _you _brought her? Some secret imprint you havn't told us bout?" He was actually winking as Paul whistled as stuffed his mouth with more bakery. Seth felt a blush creep up, but kept it down as he shrugged his shoulders non-chalantly, but with the same smile never leaving. "Narh, Miki's not my imprint. And actually you already know her. Michelle Ryann?" Seth was surprised when Jareds face went pale and his eyes bulged out, but his attention fell on Paul who nearly choke as he hammered his fist against his chest repeately until he swallowed hard and breathed out. "That girl you crushed on in 4th grade?" His outroar was definitely meant for Jared as he stared at him, his face bewildered and pure horror took over Jareds expression. No one was saying a thing besides those two, everyone just staring, expecially Seth who felt his breath hitch. Jared had a crush on Miki? Even Quil seemed to be watching now as mild confusement ran trough his eyes and unnoticeable he nugded Seth and montioned to the Muffin tray, catching his drift he grapped one and handed it to him.

"Will you shut up? I so **NOT **had a crush on her! Ever!" The obvious lie wasn't bought by anyone and Paul raised a brow, causing Jared to flush with rage, or maybe it was just embarrassment. His selfcontrol though was not bad and he managed to take a few deep breaths before he sat back down and folded his arms over his chest. "Alright, maybe I had. But that's so over, I got Kim and she's so much more perfect." Seth grunted, almost in sync with when Jared did. So Kim was supposed to be more perfect than Miki? Pah, in his dreams. If Jared never had imprinted, Seth wouldn't doubt he would be running after Miki even today. But as to why and how the 'ell Jared never told Seth bout that, well he would like to know, but then again, he doubted Jared even knew they had been best friends for like 4 years now. Sitting down across Paul and Jared he grapped a Muffin and stuffed it in, to prevent himself from demanding answers. The next one who spoke was Emily and all eyes went from the flushed Jared - seeming pretty glad bout that - to the woman in Sams arms. "I think it's cute Jared, but Michelles actually here as Seths girlfriend." Shoot. Why did she have to say that? He nearly choked, but quickly got his poker face back up as he met the staring gazes now directed at him. Clearing his troath he was about to speak up when the creaking from the stairs caught his full attention, and the others too it seemed. Oh god no, could the timing be more off? He felt akward as he watched her saunter down the stair steps. She wasn't trying, but Miki had an odd graceful way to her walk, like the way she swayed her hips. Looking at her you wouldn't believe how clumsy she actually was. He could smell the shampoo scent in her hair, wild cherry blossoms. That smell albeit suited her perfectly. Her change of clothes were just as casual as the last, a plain white sleeveless shirt and shorts; Dark blue and fitting. Her hair was still damp and his chest swelled with dull happiness. He felt himself smile when her gaze met his and he got up from his chair just as she got down the last step. She was biting her lip in a way he knew she only did when she was nervous and he pulled her against him, before he spun her around to face the others, his arm securely draped over her waist as he inhaled her scent. He got it why Jared'd had a crush on her, he remembered that even as a kid she had been just too cute.

"That's right. Miki's my girlfriend."

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**Embry POV.**

He cursed his mother to hell and back again. He'd been just about being able to see Emilys house when his cell phone went off. The only reason she had let him have one was to call him in _emergencies. _Ha! And as usual her version of emergencies was as twisted as Santa Claus on a southern island in swim suit with a tequila. She was out of booze and too wasted to get a refill from the store. He was sick of it, but he would rather bring it to her than see her walk down the streets and get lost, or fall and break her neck. Though to times he hoped for just that, he regretted it. Having to wish for his own mothers death, he knew he was all she got and that's why she was like that. She wouldn't tell him who his father was, most for his own sak and he guessed he should be happy about that. It wasn't nice being in the dark, but he was half Quileute, the wolf gene that caused the phasing proved just that. Which then left out a few choices, it was either Billy Black, Harry Clearwater or Sams missing Dad. Neither did he wish for, though having half siblings could be nice given it was his pack members he would still prefer he never knew. He wouldn't ever be able to forgive whoever it was, because that man had neglected not just him, but his mother too. How he could live with it was beyond Embry, but if it was Sams dad it wasn't that surprising. He ran from Sam too. He shook the unpleasant thoughts away and tugged the thin bag filled with the bottles of booze over his shoulder before he exited the small store and went up the road. They weren't living that far from where he was, just over the hill he would be able to spot his house, but the rute was dnagerous enough if his mother walked it, expecially in her condition. Stupid cow. She should know better than leading so pointless a life. He grunted as he reached the porch and sat the bag down before he knocked on the door. He didn't wait for her to get the door, he just needed to get away; And that right now. It wasn't like she cared anyways, as soon as she saw the bag that would be all she would pay attention to. He was but air to her, but he still took care of her, she was his mom after all. He practically run back down the hill, afriad to turn around to see her trying to catch him to do some else completely stupid errands, but he knew he was being silly. Back at the forest path to Emilys he quieted down to a slow walking as he sighed. His life was really complicated, though he always did his best to stay positive and only look forward, after all it wasn't because life wasn't worth living. He could find countless of reasons to keep moving on. Jacob and Quil for example, his two best friends. No one but them understood him better than himself. There was always this quiet understanding between them and he still remembered how awful it had been when he had joined Sams pack. Alone. Without Jake or Quil. It had been a little like torture, well okay both Paul and Jared was cool enough when you got to know them, but it just wasn't the same. And Sam was way ahead of them, all mature even though it was only a few years between them. When Jake then had joined his happiness had had no end, and he knew Quil would join soon as well, they all knew. The signs had been hard to avoid seeing. His rising tempature, the growing muscles and the sudden height. The same that had happened to all of them. Embry smiled of the memory and felt in a much lighter mood already. Humming in a low tune he let himself enjoy the greenery of the forest, it was always pleasantly green in summer, thick and it had this special scent. Possible the best scent in the world; The scent of home. That's right, the forest was his home. It was more his home than his actual home, he spend more time in the woods than by his mom, and it would stay that way. If he didn't have the other voices in his head half of the time he wouldn't mind staying in his wolf form forever, who needed to be human if true freedom was just outsite the door?

His smile was broad when he saw Emilys house just ahead, he could come from the backsite, but he knew the door was always open, expecially to him. Hmm, he remembered clearly when Emily had learned about the situation, she hadn't pitied him, but she had cursed his mother with colourful words and exclaimed he was always welcome to stay over. She had even broken a few plates as had smacked her fist into the counter and the clay plates had tilted down. He laughed of the memory and shook his head. As he said, he could find more than one reason to enjoy life, because it was definitely worth living. He stretched his arms above his head as he jumped over the crooked river not thicker than 7 inches and ran the last few steps to the door. He could hear the boys inside, joking, laughing, having a great time. Emilys female laughter was easier to notice than their bellow given her higher tuned voice, but that was not what made him hesitate as he turned the nob. There was another voice, also female, so much more pronouncing than Emilys and oddly pleasant as warm chills ran down his back from just hearing it. But the voice didn't come from the same place as the others, it came from outsite. Embry felt his breath hitch as he opened the door and walked inside. The voice hadn't been _that _close, from the porch in front or so, but it was better to be safe and get inside. He already didn't like this and he all but almost bit himself when he realized he was _trying_ only to hear that voice. What the hell? He growled low as he passed trough the hall and opened the door into the kitchen, and just right, there they was. Quil at the couch, his face litting up as he sees Embry and he all but bolts from his Seat. Jared and Paul was in a heated discussion, something about girls and - oh, the usual. Imprint stuff, gee. But they stopped as they turned to see him too. Sam gave him a nod and Emily greeted him warmly before she offered him a chair and a Muffin. He could still hear that girls voice, she was definitely here and just as he had thought she was out front on the porch with . . . With Seth? He noticed the tint of the giggling and the low ring to Seths voice, how seductive he sounded as he spoke to the girl and before he could stop it cold anger washed down trough him. Shock filled Embry to the core and he shook his head furiously, growling just to deafen out the sounds from out front. This was insane! He was going insane!

"Yo, dude. Everything's okay?" Embrys gaze locked with Quils as his friend stood right before him, his hand on his shoulder as he had noticed how Embry had started to tremble out of a sudden. He noticed the others stares as well, but shook his head again and just smiled to him. "I'm fine. Just a . . . Little angry at my Mom, made me go get her booze again." His eyes trailed off to the furniture, everything but Quils concerned eyes. He couldn't take it, and most of all he hated to lie to him, though he had to tell himself he wasn't really lying. His mom _had _made him go get booze and it _had _annoyed him. They seemed to buy it as Emilys angry hiss came from another room, when she had left he hadn't noticed, but she came back out short after with her summer jacket and car keys. "Ugh, how I hate that woman. Sorry Em." He just shrugged and smiled to her. "It's cool." The funny thing with sharing the same nickname with Emily was when one of the others would use it and they would both go; "Yeah?" before then breaking into laughter at the bewildered person trying to explain which of them he meant. Unless it was Sam, he would just glare at Embry for reacting when he should be more than able to recognize his voice. But it had actually happened once that Sam had used his nickname to call him, it was rare, but it did happen; Even with Emily around. "I'm used to it." He crooked a smile as she muffled his hair, passing him and looked to Quil once she was by the door.

"Just stay here tonight, we got enough room you know." He shrugged, but he knew if Emily really wanted him to stay he had little choice. "Come on Quil, we don't want to be late now do we?" She almost laughed when Quil bolted past her trough the door, sparing Embry a last glance before grinning at him with the piece sign- Gotta love Quil the goof ball. She waved and then she was out herself. The nice scent of her cooking was all over the place and it was mouthwatering, but that wasn't what Embry smelled. As soon as no one talked to him anymore his attention was back on that voice, not just the voice. Her scent too, was all over the place. It was intoxicating and just now he really scented it. Inhaling deep it paralyzed all his senses and he felt light headed. His heart was beating faster when he noticed the girls attention was led off Seth as she chatted a bit with Emily. He couldn't hear the exact words, but he needed no more. He was beyond curious now, if her scent and her voice could draw such strange reactions from him, then how would it be seeing her face? Feel her touch? He shivered and grapped the counter to keep his balance. Jared asked him something, but he was gone. After a few moments of regaining his mentality he locked his gaze with Jared who had corked a brow at him and Embry shot him a 'what?' expression. Shrugging Jared looked at Paul before he looked back to Embry. "You look sick, seriously. Sit down or something." Actually he didn't feel sick. He felt . . . Wonderful. It was odd, but he did. Unbelieveable wonderful, like that scent and that voice just made his life ten times better. He oblied though as he stepped over and took a seat, this time he tried _not _to focus on the porch as he grapped a Muffin and listened to Paul and Jareds chit chat. Sam had left the kitchen by now, he was somewhere in the back or so, not that he really cared. He had never been close to Sam, other than he had been his Alpha and inside his head half of the time.

"Come on, just tell me already why Kim got mad!" Jared exclaimed as he trew an arm into the air. Paul looked smug as he pursed his lips and downed a can of soda pop. "Jared, gee. What _day_ is it today?" Suddenly it seemed to dim for the poor Jared and he practically cursed off his tounge. Embry sighed mentally as he rolled his eyes and averted his gaze to the table. The stack of Muffins had been bigger he could guess, but it wasn't actually til just now that he noticed the one in his hand. Right, he took it just a moment ago. Damn. Just as he was about to stuff it inside the door went up and the scent he had just been able to ignore hit him with full force. It was so powerful Embry nearly fell down from the chair, but instead he froze. His breath hitched and horror filled him. Neither Paul nor Jared seemed to notice as they broke out in grins, Jared was still looking a little pale, but Paul had told him how he once forgot him and Rachels monthsary and how he had wished he had been dead. It hadn't entirely helped him since Jared believed forgetting a _birthday _was a little more worse, and not just _anyones _birthday, but _hers! _But he supressed the dread he had to face later.

"Yo Miki! Hey, where's Seth?" The girl seemed in a happy mood as she clicked her tounge and he listened to every step she took, until she wasn't but a few steps from where he sat. He silently wished he had never gone here, but at least he was not facing her. "Leah called. Apparantly she needed Seth to do some sort of errand. He wasn't happy-" She laughed a bit, curse that irresistable voice. Embry shuddered. "-but had little to no choice really. He'll be back A.S.A.P. He guaranteed." _Stop talking to her, stop talking to her._ Was all Embry could think, he was feeling uncomfortably tense and felt his muscles flex, but just as he thought it couldn't get worse the girl cast her attention to him. "Who's that?" Couldn't she had asked something else- like; Where's Sam? Geez. His blood was boiling by now and he considered to jump out and rush out of the door to never return. Just who the fuck was she and why did she make him feel so . . . Awful good. It really _was_ awful. He wanted to tear out Jareds throat when he answered her, he noticed Paul was staring at him by now, but he had no idea what that expression was supposed to be. Most of all the older guy looked confused, curious, surprised and oddly pleased in some sick kind of way. Couldn't he see how much Embry wanted to get out? He could at least go out of his way to help, but no, helping friends was never Pauls thing now was it?

"Ah, that's Embry. Our own little bastard." Normally he wouldn't hesitate to punch Jared for such a statement, but right now all he could think about was how the hell he got out of this situation. He didn't like it at all, nope, not in the least. "Oh! Yes I remember Embry, well kinda." What? Did he know this girl? . . . No, he didn't, he would remember such a voice and such a scent. This was getting ridiculous, completely and utterly ridiculous, dammit all. Clenching his teeth he wasn't able to take it anymore, he felt the pressure weighing his body and it was hard to breath. Her intoxicating smell was deluring him and he felt wobbly in his legs. He ignored Jareds questions, asking him what was wrong as he stepped around the table and headed for the backdoor, but just then someone grapped his wrist and spun him around. Paul that ass! But as he saw her, that white plain sleeveless shirt, her long tanned arms and legs, visibly because of her short dark blue shorts, her mid long dark brown hair falling down over her bare shoulders and her wide burgundy brown eyes, his world just;

_Stopped_.

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**Normal POV.**

"Then go." Seth had just tugged away the cellphone and looked to you with his pleasantly chocolate brown eyes, a puppish tint to them as he pouted. You felt yourself sink into the pits of hopelessness, you always did when he looked at you that way. It was a dirty trick and 9 out of 10 times you couldn't resist. Ugh, damn, damn, damn. "I mean it Seth!" Your voice wasn't as steady as you had hoped and you watched him heave a pretty heavy sigh. Leah had just called to ask a favor from her brother, that particular favor though consisted in him going back to their house and get both Leah _and _his Mom a fresh change of clothes, other than that Leah had some small chores to make so he would have to stay at Sues side for a little while. Not that he minded taking care of his Mom, it was just eternal badly timing for him right now. You didn't have to read his mind to know why he wanted to stay, the prior reactions of his friends just moments ago had albeit boosted his ego. Yes, you remembered Jared, a little too well and judging by the males expression he remembered you just as well. It had been just a little akward, expecially when Paul couldn't shut up his mouth about all the times he had to hear Jared whine because you never spared him a second glance, and thus you learned about his secret crush on you all those years ago. You almost pitied him when you all laughed at him, not that you could help it. Though you felt a little stupid that you never noticed, it probaly wouldn't have changed a thing anyways. All this time you had only plegded him for being mean when he'd only tried to get your attention, with old tactics non the less. Just like the old saying; Pull pranks on those you love, he sure did.

"I'll be back as soon as possible, alright?" He almost sounded like he was trying to assure you because _you _didn't want him to leave and it made you roll your eyes. With a smile you wrapped your arms around his neck and gave him a searing kiss that left the man stumbling out of balance as you let go, it made you giggle and seth looked dazed; A huge grin on his lips. "Of course babe." You winked to him and watched him sigh again, this time of contentment. It wasn't like your seperation now would be eternal and you wouldn't stop loving him just like that. With a squeeze of your hand and a whisper of love he jumped off the porch and ran down the path to his house, leaving you to stand there and watch him dissapear. With a satisfied sigh you spun around and opened the door to walk back inside. You were greeted immediately by a very happy Jared, though he seemed a little pale and Paul looked very smug. Jared asked for Seth and you explained why he had to run off. No one passes down a request from Leah, well rarely. Then you noticed him, the addition to the two boys you remembered leaving. His back was to you and jugding by the muscles he was beyond tense. It made you curious because it looked like he tried to avoid you, at least looking at you, so you asked.

"Ah, that's Embry. Our own little bastard." Jareds answer nearly made you walk over and slap him, he really had a bad mouth to times, but the realization just made your lips form a silent 'oh' and you half smiled. So that was Embry. The last time you saw him he hadn't been as. . . Well, huge and his hair had been shoulder lenght always loose. Now it was chopped short, but looked just as soft as Seths. You were really curious now and you pondered to walk around the table to take a look at him, still wondering why he seemed to be so . . . Uncomfortable. But he beat you to it as he shot out of his chair and went right around the table, he was fast and you heard yourself gasp as you watched him retreath for the backdoor, however he barely got past Paul as the man yanked him with a grip on his arm and spun Embry around. The first you saw was the way his hair fell down in his eyes, it wasn't as long as Seths, but it suited him better than the long hair ever had. As his golden brown eyes locked with yours you felt your breath hitch and cheeks flush. Your hand found a place at your chest and you felt like taking a step back. You had no idea what was going on by this point, but the way he looked at you, the millions of emotions that flew trough his eyes all at once until they settled on the most powerful of all had you wish you could escape, made you wish Paul had let him go. And Paul did let him go, but now Embry wasn't moving. His eyes took in your form and you nearly felt violated by the action alone, yet he wasn't even touching you. When your feet finally obeyed and you stumbled backwards time seemed to stop for a moment as his eyes found yours again, the intense emotion of dread filled him and you gasped when he dissapeared. Before you knew it he was right before you, one arm stretched out against the door to prevent you from leaving. Not that you could do that anyways, you felt completely frozen unable to move even an inch. His gaze was too warm, too intense and you could feel his breath on your skin. Your teeths bit down on the felsh of your lip as you breath slowly returned and just then you watched his eyes wide as horror seemed to fill him. Again before you could react he was stumbling backwards away from you, his breathing ragged and you watched him grap a chair for support. Just for a second your eyes fell on Jared and Paul behind him and watched them exchange a gazze before they both nodded and went to eithe rof Embrys site. Jared looked oddly aware and Paul looked a little solem. They definitely knew what was going on, but your gaze returned to Embry again as he stood up and let go of the chair. Normalty seemed to fill him and his breathing became steadier. You desperately wished that someone would break the thick silence, because it was really getting to you. Just neither of you expected what happened next. With an outstretched hand, Embry held something out for you and you glanced down on the golden brown lump between his fingers. He seemed to hesitate before he finally spoke, breaking the uncomfortable silence and your face fell when his words came out like a desperate sound of missing what this was really about.

". . . Muffin?"

**End of Chapter Five.**

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**A/N: **_Thanks for reading Chapter Five of _**Letting Go.**_ I marked a few places in the story with numbers and here is the explanations;_

**[1] **- I made this day up, so don't look for it XD In my previous plans for this story it included the Valentines day, but taking it the summer vacation dun run at the same time as V-day, it wasn't really working x3

**[2] **- I also made Kims birthday up :D I have no frigging idea when her birthday is, so I smacked two flies at one try; Making it the same day as the Lovers Day. And btw, her last name Connweller; Again I have no idea if that's her real last name, I don't remember it's ever been told so I stole it from two other stories I have read, I suck making them up myself so I hope it's fair XD

_That's it ^^ Please leave a review; Would make me SO happy! Also; I'll describe Embrys imprinting in the next chap. Right this chapter is already long enough as it is lolz, so just gotta have to be patient ^^_

**Boom#**


	6. The beginning of the end

**A/N: **_Welcome to chapter Six :) I have a little announcement; The next chapters will probaly take a while to upload. I know I have managed to upload a new chapter almost every second day now. Last chapter was on the amount of 13,031 words, but I can't promise all future chapters will be as long. I write only what is needed._

_**14,516 words!**_

_**Please. If you read this, REVIEW! It would really help me to get around to this faster ;)**_

_Thank you Franzii for being so understanding ^__^ I hope you'll enjoy this chapter :D There's a few surprises lol._

**Disclaimer: **I don't own twilight or any of the characters. I don't own you and I earn no profit for making this.

**Info; **Embrys POVs are written in his perspective, beside his second POV! There is 3 sections of Embrys POV. The other POVs are from outsiter perspective :) Thank you, please enjoy this ^^

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**LETTING GO.**

Is Never Easy.

Seth/Reader. Embry/Reader.

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**Chapter Six:**

**The Beginning Of The End.**

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**Embry POV.**

When my eyes met hers, I ceased in existing. I stopped breathing immediately when those sweet full lips wordlessly mouthed my name. It felt like floating. I watched myself from far above the sky, over the clouds. Around me the faint shine of the stars, getting brighter and brighter the closer I came. They were warm, I could feel the heat on my skin. But they were hardly as warm as her. She was there; Standing in the midst of it all, shining like a little sun. A Goddess consumed in light. I couldn't look away, I just _couldn't_. I was too afraid it would all dissapear, that _she _would dissapear. I knew if she did I would die. Already now she was more important to me than life itself. I didn't know why and frankly I could care less. She was so beautiful, so unreal it was easy to believe it was albeit a dream. Reality had no meaning to me no more. Not if it meant to wake up, in a cold bed all alone. I wanted her. No. I _needed _her.

Faintly I recalled Jareds words again; Miki. That's what he called her. _Miki._ What a beautiful name. She was so perfect, no, she was so much more. It was like the word perfection had been molded after her.

Afrodithe incarnate.

I felt the strings that snapped all around me, the strings that kept me tied to everything that had ever been of importance to me. My friends. My mother. The pack. The walks on the beach. The food I loved so much. The few books I sought to when I needed to be alone. All those small fibble things that I know realized meant nothing at all. Not anymore. It had absolutely no meaning and now it was all just disconnected from me and I saw clearer than I ever had. I wondered just how important it could have been when it was so easy to forget it. Nothing was more important than her. Nothing. And I meant that seriously.

I saw my Mother, my pathetic exuse for a parent. I felt the bruises on my body from everytime she had hit me. Her weak attempts of molding me as she wanted me to be, how she gave up at last in raising me, to soon. Her cries and her screams. Her anguish. It meant nothing.

I saw my two best friends. How they slipped away from me. First Quil and then Jacob. Why? Because of this. But now I understood how stupid I had been. For not wishing this. My destiny, my fate. Now I had it and everything felt so absu-fucking-lutely perfect.

My eyes travelled her body. Her legs were so long, almost never ending. They connected on a pathway leading to the most beautiful belly I had ever seen, a womb that would look so beautiful full and round with my offspring. Her skin was covered by the thin fabric of her snow white shirt. It was sleeveless and I had full view to her long thin arms. She wasn't too thin and not the least chubby. She wasn't as dark skinned as me, but she glowed almost golden in the light. Brighter than jewelry.

Her hair fell in soft falls down over her bare shoulders, it wasn't cource, but not entirely smooth either as it bounced with curls in the ends. I saw her so clearly. Every faint scar from old injuries caused in her childhood probaly, every dark freckle that spotted her else flawless skin. But her face, oh her face. It had a round shape to it, almost heart shaped and her cheekbones where high, but not boney like Leahs. Everything about her looked soft. Her nose was cute and small, her lips, pink and full. So kissable and delicious like cherries. Just like her scent: Wild cherries, spicy but sweet.

My eyes locked with hers, the burgundy colour of her deep pools smoldered with a faint fire, luring me in. I felt as hot as lava and my heart swelled over in pure joy, skipping beats of extacy. I could only see her now, smell her, hear nothing but her. And I wanted her so bad.

Dread filled me as I watched her beautiful features fill with horror and she stumbled backwards til her back hit the door. She grasped with panicky moves for the door nub and I realized where we were. Emilys place. It just came flooding back and it became all to clear to me just what she was trying to do. I couldn't let her. She wasn't allowed to dissapear on me just like that.

I had no control over my body anymore. From the moment I saw her I lost all will to even try and fight. There was no meaning to it when my body only did what I so deeply wished anyways. When Paul had forced me around, forced me to see her, he had taken my decision away from me and I noted myself I would have to thank him later. He was an ass, but the thing he had just given me made it possible for me to forgive him for anything he had ever done.

The door clicked once and allerted me she had found the handle. The action was in vain when I bolted forward in high speed, pressing my hand against the door to prevent her escape. Blocking her off with my huge form. She looked so small and fragile compared to me. So breakable and I noted myself to be careful, I never wanted to hurt her. Ever.

I was too close to her, and I realized when my breath became so ragged it almost hitched, but she wasn't doing better. I could feel her breath on mine. The urge to leap in and capture those sweet lips with mine was almost too hard to resist. She was so alluring and she had absolutely no idea what she was doing to me.

I saw the frightened expression of panic in her eyes and I stumbled backwards, startled. I didn't want to scare her. I heard her gasp and I grapped a nearby chair for support. My legs almost gave in underneath me, but I managed to stay up and focused on taming my racing heartbeat and my panting. It was too overwhelming, too intense and I had just only met her.

I knew I wanted to know everything about her. Where she was from, her full name, her favorite dishes, colours, music band, brand of clothes, perfume, make-up. All sort of things that never made sense to me before now. I needed to know her birthday, birthplace, where she lived now. Where she went to school, what classes she had, which lessons was her favorites. If she had ever travelled and where to. I even found myself wanting to know her shoe size.

I had no idea what went on behind me and I didn't care enough to turn around and look. I only noticed they were there when a low mumble made her look away from me and behind me. I felt fresh anger of that alone, I only wanted her to look at me, but before I could protest or do anything stupid her gaze was back on me. Once again I felt complete.

I found myself ask a very important question; What was she doing in La Push and why was she here? I only recalled bits from earlier when I arrived and heard her from the porch. Who she had been with and the musical sound of her voice when she laughed. Another pang of anger washed trough me, but it had to wait. I saw her silent plea. The silence was so thick and uncomfortable. Well not for me, I liked this, but she obviously didn't. She felt trapped. Immediately I wanted to hug her close and make her feel better, but I was frozen in place.

I had to say something. Anything. But the words that left my lips made me cringe in shame as I stretched out the hand where I still held onto the bakery I had snatched earlier. Grunts of laughter behind me only added fuel to the burning embarrassment I felt flooding my body, but it was too late.

Imprinting apparantly ate my brain cells as well.

". . . Muffin?"

* * *

**Normal POV.**

You stared in disbelief at the man in front of you. Your eyes fell in level with the outstretched hand. Laughter errupted from the two teens behind him, thick, deep, annoying laughter that bellowed trough the room like eccho. You saw the embarrassment that lit up his face, had you been in a different situation you would have found this utterly adoreable. But not now, and taking the Muffin would only mean you would agree with his true intentions, which you didn't. You wanted nothing of this, though you weren't completely sure what was going on you could guess as much yourself.

The way he looked at you, only with a little difference, it was exactly how Sam looked at Emily. That deep devotion, those silent promises and the unmistaken adoration. It was how you wished Seth would look at you. Seth. Not him. Not some stranger who just happened to be one of his friends. Okay, it was Embry, but you had never sociated much with him, just seen him around. You knew very little about him and this really wasn't the right circumstances to want to get to know him either.

You noticed when they moved, it was slow, steady steps as either placed a hand on Embrys broad shoulders. They were just as high as him, though really, Embry seemed to be just a tiny bit smaller. Seths height. It pissed you off, how his eyes never left your form even when Jared spoke. Words firm but not the least helpful at all.

"Gee, what a mess. You just had to - you know - on _that _person." You knew he was talking about you and his words just confirmed what you had already guessed. Although he had tried to disguise it. Embry had imprinted on you. YOU! Of all girls in the world. You knew what it meant; You were soul mates.

Embry was the man you were suppossed to be with, to spend the rest of your life with. The only man - if you believed the tribe legends - who could ever possible make you truly happy. But why didn't that make you happy? Why did you want to run away and cry out your heart in frustration? Your heart that already fell like breaking. Easy; Embry was not the man you wanted. You wanted Seth.

This was something you had never expected. When Seth had told you about imprinting - after you had forcefully made him - it had been to prepare you for when _he _would imprint and leave you. You were not supposed to leave **HIM!** You didn't want to leave him. You hadn't imprinted, of course not, you couldn't. But it wouldn't change a thing even if you had. This was just not how it was supposed to be. Embry wasn't supposed to imprint with you. And even less were you supposed to have warm pleasant chills when he spoke in a voice full of longing and desire. His voice was deeper than Seths by and octav and you felt your stomach coil in response.

"Why not? This feels so right." His eyes was still locked on yours and you saw the deep longing. He was beyond serious to a point where you didn't expect he would even care about the reply. But as Paul spoke this time, words soo plain and sharp they almost cut trough the air, you watched with horror how his jaw flexed and his eyes went wide as he was immediately tense.

"Because, Embry, she is Seths girlfriend. You knew he left two weeks ago to spend his vacation at her place. That is her; Michelle Ryann." You weren't even sure if he had paid attention to the last part, because as soon as Paul had mentioned the girlfriend part, Embry started to shake in trembles as he snarled. A deep dark growl rumbled in his chest that had even you flinch as you pressed yourself closer to the door. He wasn't looking at you anymore, it didn't even look as if he was focusing as he continued to quake in furious trembles. Paul and Jared both backed away with hands rosen up in front of them, almost in defence. Paul who looked a little more collected than Jared who stared at his friend in pure terror.

"Shit." He mumbled as he looked to Paul for options. If Embry phased now, Emilys kitchen would be wrecked. There just wasn't enough space for a huge dark spotted grey wolf. Or any other wolf for that matter. It never seemed to happen though as his trembling ceased, but his muscles still flexed and he remained tense. His eyes were flashing dangerously. Saying the wrong word now would end it all and he really would loose the last trace of his selfcontrol.

"What is going on in here?" Thank god. It was Sam. You let yourself fill from the little relief as you saw the familiar face of the older man. He was their Alpha right? If anyone could calm Embry down it would be him. At least you hoped so.

Both boys; Jared and Paul looked slightly reliefed themself as they moved out of their way, taking the small wooden table with them as they did so, probaly to safe some furniture should it go wrong. And Sam was left with some space as he walked to Embry. He was still not moving, only his chest rose and fell with his shaking breathing and another low snarl came out between his clenched teeth. Sam took in the surroundings, looking from Paul to Jared, to Embry and then you. Your eyes were pleading with him, you wanted to get out and away from this situation immediately. You never asked for it.

Sam nodded once to you and you felt silently grateful.

"Embry, step away from Michelle." He was still standing a few feets from you, but Sam had still noticed it was still too close. You couldn't handle it. Embrys only response was a warning growl and in mock anger he took a step towards you. You gasped in silent wear and once again his eyes locked on yours. You saw the anger of his fury flash in his brown eyes, like fire pooling, licking it's way to the surface and you swallowed hard. It was difficult to keep in mind his rage wasn't meant for you, but you silently prayed Seth wouldn't return anytime soon. Embry would tear him apart and rip off his head; Litterally.

There was another emotion in his eyes, something that had you swallow hard again, this time in guilt. Sadness, he was sad, almost dissapointed and you didn't have to ask why. He wanted you to hold him and tell him you would leave Seth to be with him. But you couldn't do that, you couldn't promise him such a thing when you with all your heart wished for only Seth.

The soft shaking of your head and the tears that now swelled in your eyes - treathening close to fall - told him just what your answer had been. The anguish and pain that took over his form made you almost regret your decision, you had to look away but found that you couldn't. He trembled with another wave of fury as he howled in the painful realization. You didn't want him.

You flinched as your hands moved on their own accord to cover your ears. You couldn't take no more of this. Seeing the despair and pain you had just caused Embry made your tears burst out and run down in hot trails on your burning cheeks. You felt so guilty, so broken, so horrible. You were a horrible person. Embry was suffering because of you and there was nothing you could do - wanted to do - that could help him now. Seth was whom you wanted, the one for you. The only one.

"Easy!" Sams voice was oddly hard and yet soft at the same time. It held a deep timber of authority and you saw Embry flinch in response. Like something in him had to obey.

"Help me get him out of here, Paul. Jared, get Michelle upstairs and call Emily." Jared nodded as he gestured with his hand for you to come to him. You saw Paul get behind Embry as he wasted little time before he grapped him in a tight grip and locked his arms under Embrys. The younger boy growled in protest, but did little else to break free. Sam came to stand before you, a sharp nod of his head indicated you to get out of the way as he reached for the door. You quickly stepped aside and he had the door open in a swift movement, almost soundless. You stood like frozen as Paul dragged Embry towards the door, trailing Sam who was already outsite. As they passed you, Embrys gaze caught yours and your heart wrenched in agony. Albeit gasping as your hand flew up to cover your mouth.

His else so beautiful eyes held so deep an emptiness he was but a shell of his former self. Not the same person you remembered from long ago. The ever smiling Embry, always playful as he betted about anything with anyone. Nothing was left, just empti hurt and despair. His face blank. Empty.

Your legs felt heavy like lead as you slowly with little to no effort made your way towards Jared. he catched you just in time as you fell. You wished he hadn't. You wanted to feel the pain of hidding the hard wooden floors. Not even pain like that could compare to the pain you knew Embry was filled with now. Your heart coiled and wrenched in dismay. You didn't really see anything, but you felt Jared scoop you up in bridal before he grapped the cell phone from the wall and headed with you up the staircase.

Had you just never come here. Had you just never fallen in love with Seth. Then Embry wouldn't suffer now. You knew very little about him, he had always seemed perfectly carefree to you, a goofball to times even. A happy boy who just loved life. You had seen him just the same way as you had always seen Seth, though the lack of socializing prevented you from really _seeing _him. And you wondered if things had been any different had you known him better. What wouldn't you do to make it dissapear. The suffering, the hurt, the betrayal he now must be feeling. Because of you. Something even you could feel in this moment and you wondered if it really was true. That soul mates felt pain equally? If one suffered the other would suffer as well. Because you did.

You barely registered when Jared shifted you as he kicked a door open. His skin was warm on your own, but everything felt so cold and pointless. How he had managed to find your room was beyond you, even though it was but a room you borrowed while you where here, it still had your scent all over. Ah. Your scent. Seth had explained to you just how dominant and strong your scent were and what exactly it did to him.

Seth. You didn't desurve him. You wanted him, but you were so afraid. Would he even want you after this? Embry was his friend, more than that he was his brother, his pack. They weren't blood related, but it was a powerful bond. You would hate yourself if you were the reason for two friends to break apart. Then it would be better if Seth hated you. Hated you because you made Embry suffer.

You felt Jareds arms dissapear from underneath you as he placed you down on your bed. The softness you knew would be there never came and you felt like laying on a rock, small pepples boring into your skin. So uncomfortable and unpleasant. You didn't even see the wooden ceiling as you stared up at the loft. You felt so drained from energy, like your spirit had left you and you were but a transparant sheet left behind. A nobody.

"I'm gonna call Emily and explain the situation. You should get some sleep, ey?" Jareds voice was but a distant whisper to you as you felt him shift away as he walked towards the doorway. You didn't even have the strenght to reply, your voice broken and you closed your eyes. You weren't really tired, you didn't really _feel _anything at all. Only emptiness as it swallowed you up and consumed you completely.

Time passed slowly. You could hear Jared speak from outsite of the door, his voice soft and even. He was talking to Emily now, explaining her what had happened and you wished you could see her face. She was probaly out of herself with worry. Or maybe - you hoped - maybe she was mad at you. Furious that you neglected a lifetime of happiness with the man who was but perfect for you. Because she knew how it was, she had tried it. And she had paid the price, the scars now maring her face and upper body. Maybe she would order Jared to kick you out. In the cold and shout at you never to show your face ever again. If it just were so easy.

How and when you had fallen asleep was beyond you, but you woke with a gasp as a hand cupped your cheek. It was small with long slip fingers, a females hand. You opened your eyes expecting to see Emily, but was met with another familiar face. High placed cheekbones in her long thin face, her hair smooth and short as it fell just right down, framing her cheeks, barely touching the chin. Her eyes were soft and kind, but held a hardness to them that only came from experience and heart break. Her lips thinned as you locked gazes.

"Leah." You crooked out in a hoarse whisper, surprised you even could speak in the first place. She shushed you with a finger against your dry lips and you likced them as soon as she moved it away, but you didn't speak.

"Jared told us what happened. When Emily and Quil had picked up Claire they came to visit us at the Hospital, Claire wanted to see Sue." Your eyes widened and horror washed over your weak body. With unknown strenght you jerked upwards and sat up, using your elbows for leverage, panic filling you as you watched her. Almost as if she had heard your silent question she smiled weak as she shook her head.

"No, Seth had no idea. Emily was smart when she decided it was best to keep him in the dark for now. To give your both a chance. I know my brother, he might be the sweetest boy to walk this earth, but the way he talk about you." She heaved a sigh and you wondered just what she held of your relationship with her brother, but she was still smiling softly as she continued.

"He loves you so much, Miki. As little violent as he is, he would take Embry head on. And that would be one nasty fight. Each would go for the kill." You started to shudder and new tears filled your eyes by the mention alone. The last thing you needed right now was to picture it, because you knew she was right. Leahs gaze was full of sympathy and you knew perfectly well if anyone knew exactly how he felt; Her brother. It would be her. Just like Emily could relate to you, having been the third part too, and Sam to Embry. You hoped he was with him now. He probaly was, trying to calm him, talk with him. Seth had explained how they all knew exactly how Sam had felt when it all happened. From the first time he phased til he met Emily.

It was like the same story all over again, just with a twist, and you almost waited for the claws that would mare your body in eternality with scars. Just only this time they would take your life away, the guilt and the pain. Death. What an easy escape, you didn't even desurve that.

"I don't wish for my brother to go trough the same as I did. This time there is a _choice _Miki." You knew what she meant. Sam had had no choice when he imprinted on Emily, it was absolute and he couldn't change it. Couldn't choose Leah, no matter how much he had loved her before, how much he might still love her. It was never as much as what he felt for Emily.

But this situation, this twist, was completely reversed. You _could_ choose Seth if you wanted to. Embry had imprinted with you, but if you choose Seth, not even he could change it. There was nothing he could do. This choice was _yours_. And yours alone. Yet you couldn't help but feel so hopeless. When he had needed you to, you didn't go to him, you denied him yourself, denied him the love he so desperately wanted, denied him his choice. It had been a voiceless request, but you had declined it even if he had asked you with words.

You broke his heart within seconds. Would he even have the strenght to fight Seth if it came so far? God forbid it, but you couldn't predict it. If he knew it was already a useless battle, one he couldn't win even if he won? That you never would be his even if he killed Seth. No! Never! You couldn't allow yourself to even think about it. Not your Seth, anyone but your Seth. You wished Embry no harm either, you just couldn't love him under these circumstances, under any circumstances. It really was a hopeless situation.

"Leah. . . What do I do?" You gave a weak attempt to speak clear and loud, but your voice broke and came out barely above a whisper. The female had heard you however and watched you burry your face in your hands as you shook with sobs.

You felt her shift her weight on the bed as she glided up to your form and pulled you into her in a light embrace. Her hug soon became tighter and you tried to make yourself be consumed in her heat. You noticed just _how _hot Leah was - just as hot as Seth and the rest of the pack - temperature wise. Before you could ask she answered your unspoken question, shocking you to your core.

"Did you know I phased too when the bloodsuckers appeared? Around the same time as my brother actually. Imagine what state I was in when I found myself trapped in a huge wolfs body." You didn't wonder much about how she knew you knew about the phasing as you figured Seth could have told you, or that she just guessed you already knew. Leah had a hang for finding things like this out before anyone else could even consider it. You were far too concerned about her words.

Seth had told you it was only the male members of the Quileute tribe that went trough the transformation, as the wolf responded stronger to the male DNA. Men just had more stamina than women and their instincts were closer to the wolfs. So how? She answered all your unspoken questions almost as if she could read your mind.

"Everyone was surprised. Father expecially as that was when he got a heart attack. I killed my own father when I phased in front of him." She spoke the last words with a hiss of disgust. Disgust towards herself and your breathing stopped. Harry Clearwater got a heart attack because of Leah? But . . . You couldn't see how that was Leahs fault and you felt like you needed to tell her. She beat you to it.

"I know it's not my fault really. I never asked for it. But you know. When I thought it couldn't get worse I learned about the mind thing. Suddenly a lot of male voices invaded my mind as pictures flooded inside like waves of the ocean. It was overwhelming and I felt sick. The voices all spoke at the same time, the pictures mixing together like blended and I couldn't focus. It didn't stop til _he _spoke. The instant I heard Sams voice in my head I knew everything. I knew why he dissapeared for two weeks. I knew why he had been so changed. I knew why he left me for Emily. I knew it wasn't his fault and I cursed it all. The imprint, the phasing. I hated it just as much as I hated myself. For thinking so badly about him and about her. It didn't better the situation when new pictures flooded my mind in a wave of old memories making their way to the surface inside my head, inside their heads. They saw it all, felt everything I felt. And I was once again reminded of just why I had loved him so much. Why I _still _loved him so much."

You felt so bad for her, felt like a sham, horrible as you was for ever leaving her when she had needed you so bad, needed your support in the worst time of her life. And yet she was here with you, trying to support you. You had no right to ask for her help, no right to seek comfort in her kind presence and you tried to shrink away, disgusted by yourself. She shook her head with a mocking laugh as she watched the emotions wash over you just as she crushed you tighter against her, still shaking her head.

"Everyday he saw it. The pain I felt all the time, right there far too visible in my head. Everyone in the pack could see it, feel it. They all knew how much I loved and longed for him. Once a part of the pack you are also a part of each other. You smell what they smell, you see what they see, feel what they feel. It can be good in the right situations, but rest of the time it's hell. How could I hate Emily when I saw her trough Sams eyes? How perfect she was for him, how perfect he was for her."

You could swear you saw the tears glimmer in Leahs eyes for a second before she closed them and rested her forhead against yours. When she opened them all the misty eyed was gone.

"I can't tell you what to do Miki. The only one who can make your decisions for you are you. It's your life, no one can tell you what is right or wrong, only you. I can only show you what else options you have got. In the end, even if you don't choose Seth, he will forgive you. You're just not meant to be, not matter how right it feels. it is but a fleeting illusion. It hurts now, but if you let him, Embry will-" Unable to take it anymore you cut her off with a hand pressed to her mouth. Her expression was still the same as she carefully watched your face.

"I know. . . But I love Seth. Right now he is all I want. I . . ." You took a moment to inhale deeply before you exhaled in a gruff and tried to steady yourself as you withdrew you hand from Leah. She didn't respond, she probaly already knew you weren't finished and you were grateful that Leah possessed the personality she got. She was very patient, though you knew she also possessed hell of a temper.

"I need to talk with him before I decide anything. Just like I need to. . . to. . . I . . Oh, god." Your voice broke again and new tears ran down the old path left by already dried out salty water. You felt her carress your back, stroking your hair in the procss as she finished our sentence for you. Making you swallow hard and bite your lower lip.

"You need to talk with Embry first. You feel awful don't you? When Emily rejected Sam she felt his pain too. Stupid soul mate stuff, eh?" She shot you a grin and you returned it with a weak smile of your own as you silently agreed.

Stupid soul mate stuff.

* * *

**Seth POV.**

Curse Leah. Curse her _stupid _request. Curse this _stupid _Hospital and their _stupid _procedures. The only thing pleasant about this place was Claires cheerful laughter as Quil made funny faces. Emily and Sue chatted lively as Emily sat beside the bed in a chair from the other site of the room. Carlisle had found the reason for Sues condition; Bug bite. And a nasty one. The fault was the weather. It was a particular moist summer this year and it had been many years since it had last been like this. The weather created just about the perfect clima for this foreign mosquito looking bug that had probaly arrived in the country with either wares or a storm. They had a bad storm in spring, could have been from there.

So this bug had infected his mother and caused her condition, it wasn't exactly life treathening, but for someone with a weak condition, one like Sue, it needed immediate treatment. At least it was cureable - he wondered if there was a disease Carlisle _couldn't _cure - and Sue would be fine enough to go home in a couple of days. Great news. Really. There was just one problem; He wanted to get the fuck out of here as fast as possible.

One; He had already fullfilled his purpose of coming here in the first place, he even helped the damned nurse with the laundry, from over 34 rooms!

Two; Hospital food tasted like shit. And last but most importantly there was number Three; He needed to be with Michelle. That phonecall**[1] **Emily recieved earlier had just been too suspicious. He wanted to know _who _had called and _why. _

Something happened, he just knew it. He wasn't the paranoid type, but he had a sixth sense if that's what you wanted to call it. And that said sense told him something had happened; Something bad. If Miki was in some sort of trouble, or if any of the boys had just _looked _at her the wrong way he would - he would leave the least to the imagination. But he would probaly freak, he already felt it coming, consume him. Worry.

He groaned in his silent suffer as he stared out of the window at the same boring altan and the same boring flower ornaments. Sues bed was by the window, she had said Carlisle tried to make her feel as comfortable as possible. Good for her. Pfft. He wasn't a good son, not right now at least. As soon as he had learned his mother would be fine and seen how fine she already was, he had just wanted to bolt out of the room and sprint back. How polite.

Leah was going to hit him if she found out. Pfft, Leah. She had it good, at least she wasn't rotting up in this shitty place with people who _obviously _didn't need him around. He had never liked Hospitals, not the least. Good thing he never had to come here, as nice as Carlisle was and as much as he liked him, he preferred visiting in the Cullen Residence. Beside, the Vampire stench was better than how the medicaments smell. Yuk.

He sighed as he ran his hand down over his face in desperation. Time passed too slowly. It always passed wrong in the wrong situations. When you were in a hurry, like he was, it either went too fast or expecially slow. fast when you were already late for something, and slow when you just needed to be somewhere very fast. Just like he did right now. How he needed to be with Miki.

He tried to remember _what _he had heard from the conversation. Emily hadn't said much herself before she handed the phone to Leah and acted like it had been nothing. What had he said? Suspicious right? Expecially because she had mentioned your name, that had caught his attention in the first place. And Leah. She just had to up and leave the room so he couldn't eavesdrop.

She had only returned to give Emily her cell phone back and announced her leaving. What. The. Hell? He rose immediately, wanting to come, but she banned him to stay. Curse Leah. _Again._

He heard the roaring from her old cars engine as she pulled up into the parking lot. Oh fuck, _finally! _He was by the window immediately as he watched her get out of the car. She looked as calm and collected as always. Leah and her damn poker face. He felt just a little more than dissapointed when he didn't see Michelle with her, but forgot it when his eyes caught hers. She stopped in tracks and they just returned gazes until she montioned for him to join her in the lot. The others, beside Claire who asked where "Sethy" was going, didn't question as he opened the altan door and got out on the white stone plate. he leapt over the realing and landed gracefully a few feets down, watching Leah as she stood like frozen in place, watching him as he ran to her, only stopping when he was right in front. His heartbeat was a little hard to control and he looked at her expectingly, still worried. If anything had happened to Miki-

"Don't look at me like that. Michelle is fine." For a moment there he forgot who she was. Leah, his sister who knew him in and out and didn't need wolf genes to read his mind. He felt how the relief filled him and exhaled the breath he didn't realize he had been keeping in. Okay, so Miki was fine, but then what? What had all this been about?

"You will find out in time. For now I have to ask you to stay with me." His eyes narrowed suspiciously as he became annoyed once again, but Leah merely shrugged and shook her head. Speaking again just like if she had picked the questions right out of his mind. Well as long as it worked.

"It's nothing Seth, really. I'll take you back as soon as Miki calls, or you will see her at the Bon fire. She needs a little time for herself. Just a minor depression which you can't help her with. I'm hungry! Let's go eat at a Café or something, been long since we had some serious bonding time anyways, hm?" The suspicion was back, big time. Bonding time, whathefuck, Leah? He wanted to protest and demand some answers right there and now, but she grapped his arm and hauled him towards the car.

"Later."

* * *

**Embry POV.**

You have _no _idea how much it hurted. He felt like his chest had been cut open with a slow and sly rusty knife until his heart was ripped out in pieces, leaving a giant hole in its place that grew and grew until it swallowed him up completely. Pulling him into a chamber of torture and pain. Suffer. It finally happened. He found her. His Goddess from paradise, his other half, the perfection of the Afrodithe incarnate she was. But she rejected him, she didn't want him. She wanted _him._ Seth, that punk. Just thinking his name made his jaw flex and he growled with pure hatred. Deep and dark.

It was so unfair. He never asked for anything. Had he complained when his mother dragged him away from his childhood home as she made them move down to the rez? No. Had he complained when he suddenly turned into a huge gray wolf unable to keep your thoughts a secret? No. Had he complained when he learned that one of his best friends could possible be his half brother, because one of their fathers, married men, probaly had knocked up his mother? No. Had he complained when they all imprinted and had less time for him and he had to do most of the perimeter and hardly got any sleep no more? No. Or did he ever complain when his mother got too drunk for her own good and started to beat him with an old broom stick and other objects inside her reach? No. He hadn't. He never complained, not about this stuff. Only about silly things, things that didn't leave scars on his soul.

He hated pity, and selfpity most of all was the worst. He had done nothing wrong to desurve this. He had never wanted to imprint in the first place. He always found it ridiculous and mind controlling, how your will is taken from you and your whole life depends on her and what she does. Insanity. But now that it _had _happened to him, he wanted it more than anything. More than he had ever wanted anything in his entire life. More than he wanted that book from the bookstore in Forks about frogs, more than he wanted to kiss that other girl he had met at a night out with the boys, more than he wanted to kill that deer when he hadn't eaten in Three days. He needed her and hell, he wouldn't give up without a fight. No matter how useless it looked, he would make her see it too. And Seth should better pray he wouldn't cross his path ever again.

He should know better, Seth that is. He knew the power of the imprint, Embry even knew Seth had wished to feel it for himself, to meet his soul mate. And yet he dared to take a woman that wasn't his to take. Embrys woman. It wasn't fair. . . Maybe he wasn't really that fair himself. How could Seth had known his first girlfriend would be made for Embry? No one could have predicted that. Or yes, one could. Fuck that stupid Cullen bitch and how she couldn't see them. She should have foreseen this and then. . . And then what? Who was he kidding? God, he had lost it, now he just radomly blamed everyone else.

Even _if _Alice Cullen had predicted this he would just had done everything in his might to avoid ever meeting Michelle. He would even stop hanging around Seth and it would probaly kill him in the end. He would have to run away, see the world. Be a coward with his tail between his legs. It didn't matter, it was too late anyways.

He was glad that he was alone now. Most of all he just wanted to phase and run free, to feel the wind in his fur and the dirt under his paws. To clear his mind and hunt, enload some pent up frustrations, kill a few does, taste their blood in his mouth. But Collin and Brady was still running. Quil would get here soon and he'd have to run the perimeter with him. Damn, he didn't want to let anyone see his mind, not now. It would trouble Quil to no end if he knew how awful Embry felt. He didn't need anyone to hate Miki, it wasn't her fault. Even if it was, he just couldn't get himself to think so, how could it ever be her fault? No, he would just have to get this all under control before he had to phase and join Quil on their duty.

Alwhile _his _Michelle was at the Bon fire with that asshole. He growled with fury. Noooo! This was exactly what he tried to avoid. He had to find some way to clear his mind before he seriously lost it. he barely felt like himself anymore, it was like Embry Call had just gone; POOF!

Good thing Paul and Sam left him alone a while ago. They had taken him home but he ran away before his mother could even register he had been there. Now he was in the woods. The beautiful scenery and homey smells did little to help him calm though. He had already destroyed a dusin of threes. Or more, who was counting? No wonder she didn't want him, he couldn't even control his temper. He groaned with exasperation as he glided down against a tree til he sat on the ground, leaning against the same tree, one he hadn't demolished. Yet. He just wnated it to dissapear. All of it. He wanted to stop graving her so much. Her flawless body, her beautiful face, the deep soul-lit pits of her burgundy eyes. Her scent. The strong smell of wild cherries, spicy and yet so sweet. he could still smell it, how it intoxiated his senses. -Snap-

. . . Wait. -Crack- Shit.

She was here.

* * *

**Normal POV.**

You made your way down the sandy road. Pepples rolled out of your way as you occasionally hit them, walking with almost dragging your feet over the dirt. They still felt like lead and you weren't really looking forward to reach your destination. You saw the only store in La-Push, the traditional painted red and white walls greeted your vision. It was old fashioned and the once black roof was dark grey, de-coloured by the strong sun that shone hotly once in a while. Your eyes travelled to the hill leading up and you knew you were close.

You had decided you wanted to talk with Embry first. First of all because you were afraid how Seth would react when he found out and what he would do. And Embry, well. You wanted so badly to make him feel better. Though there was a risk you would probaly just make it even worse. You couldn't give him what he wanted. Not yet. Leah had told you anything she knew about him. And she made you promise you would give him a chance.

She had told you how he lead his life, how he was raised without a father and learned he was half Quileute. That his mother was alcoholic and violent. How brave he always pretended to be, when his life had been living hell. Though hardly; He never pretended really. he just never forgot how to live and cheerish the small joys life gave him. Knowing all that it was hard to decide. You pitied him and you knew it was wrong. You weren't going to make your decision on had to hide it, pity was the last thing he needed right now. Even though it was beyond you to give him what he really needed, it was worth a try.

So Leah had told you where you could find him. You came over the small hill and finally saw his house. it was the only house on the location Leah had explained that fitted the description. The birds were mocking you with their cheerful chirping and you wanted to haul rocks at them. You hesistated as you walked across the porch to the wooden torn door. His place had seen better day, it was trashed and some parts fell apart. The foul smell of old garbage and rotten meat was toxic in your notrills, it made you feel sick. For a moment you wished he wasn't here, so you could get out as fast as possible.

You raised a shaking hand to knock on the door. One time. Waiting. No response. Just as you rose your hand, hesitantly this time, the door flung open and you stumbled backwards startled. A woman in an old dirty black bathrope stared at you. The sickening stench of alcohol that came from the inside paralyzed your senses and you flinched, wanting to cover your nose, but you noted mentally that would be inpolite. So this was Embrys Mom. Her eyes were narrowed and cold, you saw no other emotion than annoyance in her black pools. Such empty eyes. You started to understand why he was barely home, you doubted those eyes could ever show love.

Her eyes traveled your form, up and down your body like an elevator and you were thinking she would spit on you in just a moment. She didn't, however, as she opened her mouth and the smell got even badder.

"What do you want?" You flinched again by her deep un-feminine voice. She was trough and trough completely unpleasant. You hesitantly told her your business and asked for Embry, by the mention of his name she snorted you right in your face and turned her back to you. Almost barking out that she hadn't seen that bastard all day and doubted she would. Complaining about her sore exuse of a son. You felt anger towards the woman form in the pit of your stomach, but settled to bite your lips before you trew out insults at her.

You were just about to ask her if she had an idea where he might be when she closed the door in your face. With the action your temper snapped and you stomped off the porch, highly dissapointed and now very furious. You stopped once a few feets away and inhaled and exhaled deeply. You still remembered how to find your way around La-Push, but the place was still too big to search all over. And even if you did it wasn't certain that you would find him. He could be anywhere. You felt like giving up already and head back, but then you saw it. The small dirty pathway trough the woods just beside his house. The chance he went that way was little, but you knew if you followed it all the way it would lead you down to first beach. And there would be people - preparing for tonight - who you could ask.

Determined that'd be what you'd do, since it was better than giving up you made your way trough the branches. You walked for a good amount of time, not in the mood to enjoy the beautiful scenery or the nice smells. Little light made it's way trough the tree tops, the the amount that did lit up the leafs, bathing them in golden light. It was really a sight to behold, you just felt nothing when watching it. It wasn't til you met the first broken tree that your attention finally spiked. The trunk was split in half and your heart skipped a beat. Not far away was another, and another. There were countless of trees all broken in various ways, some still standing but deeply wounded as the bark was torn and the tree would probaly die. Embry. Your heart skipped faster. There was no claw marks of animal bites, so he had demolished them in human form.

New guilt filled you, he could be hurt too. God you would never forgive yourself if anything had happened to him, it was worse enough that he was hurting emotionally. You realized you were running when you almost tripped over a root stinking out of the ground, the branches slapped you in the face and the adrenaline pumped trough your veins, but you didn't care. You wanted to find him, and fast. You came to an errupt halt as you froze on the spot, panting as you chest heaved up and down violently.

There he was. He was lounched up against a tree, his face covered in both his hands as his arms rested on his knees. His legs pulled up against his chest and he sat there completely motionless. You took a step, a few dry branches snapped and cracked underneath your feet. You knew immediately when he had heard you. His body tensed and his head snapped up. He was still sitting there, so he didn't feel treathened, he probaly knew it was you from before you realized. His eyes locked on yours and for a moment you saw the confusion flash until pain took it over. It made you flinch and your shoulders stumpled. You took a deep breath and forced yourself to be courageous, it was now or never.

"Embry?" You watched him flinch just like you had when you spoke his name. You spoke in a soft tone, not wanting to alert him and have him run on you. Hesitantly you took a step forwards and saw his muscle flex, he was ready to jump and run anytime now. You felt yourself take another step, faster and you wanted to just run to him and hold him there.

"D-don't go." You mentally slapped yourself for sounding so weak, you even stuttered, but it worked as he deflexed and became less tense. His expressions was vary and you knew he probaly didn't trust you. You had to remind yourself why you were here. You couldn't give him what he wanted, but you hadn't decided yet. You needed to tell him there was still hope, but then again you hated yourself for putting it like that. Still hope. Great. So you would get his hopes up and then in the end crush his heart even worse when you end up picking Seth anyways? How horrible could you be? Jesus!

You had to be careful and choose your words wisely. Watching him like that, how his presence pulled you in and you yearned to feel his arms around you, his lips on your skin. Oh god. You had to clear your mind. You nearly panicked when he rose from the ground, not bothering to even sweep the dirt off as he turned in the opposite direction. Briefly you were albeit certain he would dash and dissapear. In fear of rejection you gasped and launched yourself forward, to stop him. You weren't close to enough to reach him and for a moment you just fell. Your chest collided with something hard and instantly you were consumed by a heat you had never felt before. It wasn't like when Seth hugged you, or Leah, or the heat any of the other boys radiated. His heat went right trough your bones and started a fire that licked its way from the core of your body and out, swallowing you in bliss.

His arms wound around you as you both stumbled to the ground. When your wide eyes met his, your breath hitched as you realized just how close his face was to yours. There was no pain, no anguish, no anger and no despair to spot in his flawless chocolate pools, but they were filled with so many other emotions it was hard decipering them all. You managed to pick out only a few. Like fear, sadness, surprise, desire, but mainly love. The emotion that took you by surprise was the one burning strongest, lust. You felt lightheaded and the sound of your own heart beat drummed in your ears.

The position you were in became all too clear to you, you were practically sprawled on top of him, his hands securely holding your waistline at each site and you could feel his bare skin against yours. You were like frozen in place with absolutely no idea what to do. The words were caught in your throat and your lips moved without sound. His eyes fell to your mouth and you saw the hunger flash in them. You swallowed hard and your breathing became ragged.

You could feel it, with every ounce in you just how perfect his body fitted yours. How easily he molded against you as if he had been made for that purpose only. There almost weren't a place you didn't touch, you were like two pieces of a broken cookie meant to be. Not even with Seth had you ever felt so complete, and he was only touching you. Your heart ached and your stomach curled in response.

"What do you want Miki?" His voice was soft only with a dark egde laced with lust, the tune that made you shiver and nearly moan as the hot chills so pleasantly ran down your spine. Only his voice, but it dragged so strong emotions forth from you.

His eyes were still on your lips, he looked dazed, but concentrated. Like he was fighting against the urge to close the gap and kiss you. All coherent thoughts were replaced with pictures and fantasies of just how good his lips would feel against yours. Startled you flushed in embarrassment as you pushed the thoughts to the back of your mind, forcing yourself to think up a good response.

"I needed to see you." You almost moaned when he shifted, his legs stroked yours and your felt his groin move against yours. Causing a delicious friction pool between your legs. You knew he shivered, just as hopeless himself with lust from having you so close and then you just had to say those words. _Needed _him. You tried to correct yourself inside your heard. The right thing to say would have been; I needed to talk with you, but you couldn't take it back now and you realized you didn't want to either. Feeling nervous, but better than you should feel you nibbled at your bottom lip.

You really needed to get this over with, if it continued in this fashion you'd beg for him to soon. You already felt like goo in his hands, it was crazy. Only Seth should be able to make you feel this way, yet Embry, with little to no effort had you completely surrender in matter of seconds. The thought of Seth pulled you back on track, he was the reason you were here after all. You loved him. You knew Embry saw no fairness in you being with Seth since he was the one who had imprinted with you. But there was little you could do. You _knew _you could come to love Embry, easily. You already wanted to kiss him and hold him, soothe him and tell him you'd never leave him. But you were only human, you wanted desperately to please them both. To promise Embry a fair chance, but Seth already had a head start, a vital one.

You wondered briefly what Embry would do or say if he found out Seth had already invaded in you in more than one way. He lost his virginity to you and though he had been unexperienced, he'd been able to touch you in ways no boy had ever been able to reach. Could Embry do the same? He already dragged you in like a magnetic wave surrounded him and you were the south and he was the north, attraction you to a point of being unseperately. You felt yourself drown in the complimacy, wasn't there an easy way somewhere? Only when he spoke again you surfaced again and saw the hidden hope in his eyes.

"You _needed _to see me?" The softness and burning desire startled you. That man was desperate for you to love him, but not desperate enough to trow away his dignity, he was a proud fellow, and you didn't wanted him to trow anything away for you. Frankly you didn't think you were worth it, regardless what he would tell you. Your eyes locked again, your face flushed as you nodded.

"Yes. B. . . Because we need to talk. . . Uhm, about. . . You and me and-" In a swift movement he flipped you over and had you pinned down on the ground, his hands tight on your wrists. You wanted to protest, but he surprised you as he ended you sentence for you.

"And Seth." It wasn't a question, but a simple statement and his face hardened when you nodded again.

"No, Miki. We're not." Pure confusion washed ove ryou and your arched your brows down towards your nose, struggling to get his hands to loosen their grip, but he only tightened it and you flinched in the sudden pain. he was so strong, his anger preventing him from being careful, though you knew he would never truly hurt you. But you didn't understand what he meant, but he continued and at his words you eyes narrowed immediately as you hissed dangerously at him. He didn't even flinch.

"It's easy; You're mine." You spitted at him, not hitting as he moved his face away easily and you kicked your legs wildly, hoping to cause him some sort of pain, but he didn't bugde an inch as he kept to in place. He was sitting on his knees but pressed some weigh down on you to keep you at bay. God you wanted to slap him, yell at him and curse him for being so fucking stubborn, the _hell _you were his!

"I am not! As little as I am Seths! It's _my _life and I can choose whatever path _I _decide. You get that mister!" That seemed to push him to the egde and he snarled at you, making you flinch back. Mad at him that he had you trapped and you couldn't escape. You knew he was getting pissed now, but dammit, so were you! And to think you pitied him! Ha! He didn't even desurve your attention, but his response had you wince in guilt, making you feel very, very small out of a sudden.

"Then what are you doing here! Guilt! Pity! Please. Or weren't you satisfied with my pain! Want to swirl the dagger around you already pierced trough my heart! Pin me up so I can watch you run off with fucking Seth! Fine. Just say the words Miki!" An odd wave of agony washed over him, his words sounded so weak though he yelled at this point, the hurt and pain was so obvious as it driplet off him. More guilt consumed you and you averted your eyes instantly. You couldn't face him. Partly he was right. You did pity him, you did feel guilty. But that wasn't why you were here! Or was it?

You didn't know anymore, you felt so completely hopeless, so horrible. A lice pinched between two nails. No matter which boy you would choose, in the end one of them would suffer unendlessly. Because of you. Seth was your boyfriend and the most obvious choice, you loved him with all your black heart, but you weren't meant to be. You could live a happy life, in the end it was nothing but an illusion though. Embry was you soul mate, only he could make you truly happy, if you'd let him.

There was a third option, it seemed completely hopeless; You could choose neither and leave. Break the contact and four years friendship with Seth, strap Embry from his chance to get to know you, for you to get to know him. It would make you suffer too, but with time you could only hope the wounds would heal and you would probaly marry a third part and have some kids. Maybe a banker, not rich but not poor. It would kill you.

"No. Of course not." You spoke barely above a whisper, you words so weak you weren't even sure you spoke the truth. Your uncertanity was so obvious you weren't surprised when he snorted above you, one of his hands leaving your wrist - the other one grapping both and pulled your hands above your head, still keeping you trapped - as he pulled your chin up, forcing you to lock your eyes with his. He was pissed and the annoyance that filled him made tears swell up in your eyes.

"Then what Miki?" Can you tell me honestly you don't want Seth more than me?" When he spoke his name you saw his jaw flex and he albeit growled it out. It was your fault and it was only fair he blamed you.

"No." That snapped his temper and you gasped when you flew trough the air til your back made impact against a tree trunk. Embry was there immediately as he pressed you roughly up against the rough bark, trembling as growls rolled off his tounge, a deep rumble in his chest. You couldn't help the tears anymore as they spilled over and you bit back a sob. It wasn't the pain in your back that hurted, it was how you had failed making him feel better, you just kept making it all worse. You didn't need to see it to know it, you could _feel_ it. For a while neither of you said a word, your eyes were averted again and you felt the sobs lump in your troath as you refused to let him hear it. His trembling never ceased and you knew he fought desperately with his self control. With a snapping sound you hit the ground as he had released you, the fury that consumed him made him look blurry and your eyes widened in horror at the scene.

"I'm going to kill him." That was his last words before Embry was gone. He was still standing there, but he wasn't the man you knew anymore. A gigantic wolf tore trough his skin, shredding his beige coloured three-quarter shorts as his huge paws duginto the ground, the fur on his back stood straight in fury. He snarled trough bared teeths, his sharp fangs made you shiver as his lips was pulled over his muzzle. He was grey with black spots on his back. This was the first time you saw how they really looked in their other form. Seth had never showed you and you silently cursed the fear that washed over you. You had been so unprepared, the trembling should have warned you, but you didn't realize just how furious he really was before it felt like it was too late.

_He is going to kill him. _The thought was like a knife piercing trough your heart and you flinched. _No! I can't allow it! _There was no time to think anymore, all you could do was act. You got to your feets faster than you had expected, he was still trembling though he had long transformed, it was the most frightening sight you had seen in a long time. It beat every single scary movie you had ever seen. Pure horror. You trew yourself at him, surprised he didn't move even as you trew your arms around his thick neck.

Emily was in the back of your mind, you knew what had happened to her. You didn't know the details, of why she was even there and what had pissed Sam off that he went to such lenghts. But if that were you destiny, to end up like Emily, then so it be. You knew it had settled things between them, than in the end she gave herself to him because of that. You doubted this would even be close, you just wanted him to stop. You expected him to trow you off, instead he lowered his head and your grip slipped as he slid you off easily.

"No!" You yelled as you grapped his tail when he jumped towards the other direction, he froze in track immediately and you cried in horror. Suddenly realizing it wasn't in fear of Seth. You weren't afraid Embry would kill him, you were afriad that Seth would kill _Embry._ As bizarre as it might sound, it was the truth and your heart raced like horses competing to be the fastest. He turned his mighty head to look at you, his ears were flat against his skull and he snarled, but when he saw your eyes, the soundless tears that rolled down your swollen cheeks, he read the emotion in them and seemed to understand. The fluffy ears perked as his eyes widened in shock. In a flash the wolf was gone and Embry scooped you into his arms. He was naked, but it didn't matter anymore. His warm lips crashed against yours and your arms flew around his neck as you without hesitation returned the desperate kiss with just as much desperation.

_Embry._

* * *

**Embry POV.**

I saw it. In her eyes. I was beyond pissed when she tried to stop be. The fury that consumed me was tearing me apart and before I knew it I had phased. it just happened, like on instinct, that easy had it been. Immediately I knew Collin and Brady were in my mind, by their gasps I knew they had seen my thoughts. It was all i could think about, how fucking much I just wanted to kill him. I wouldn't stop til his blood filled my mouth and his limp was seperated from his body.

_What the hell man? _Collin had stopped on his perimeter, he wasn't as far from where I stood, but he wouldn't get here in time anyways, besides I would just remove everyone that dared to get in my way. I knew when Brady de-phased as he dissapeared, I hadn't heard if they had talked, but I knew he would probaly allert Sam. From Collin and him he had been the closests to Emilys house. I didn't care. It would be too late, no one could stop me now.

She flung herself at me, in her desperation to stop me from killing her beloved. New anger pooled trough me and I ignored Collins words as he uselessly tried to calm me down. Even trying to imitate the timber of the Alphas voice, failing miserably. I would have snorted if I hadn't been too far away. Blinded with rage, but I couldn't get myself to hurt her, it was bad enough I had trown her off so roughly before. But if I hadn't done it I would have clawed her like Emily was, I couldn't risk that.

I tried to be careful when I ducked my head and hoped she'd just fall off, butshe was holding on tighter than i thought. With a swift nod of my head I slipped her off and jumped to get away, but she grapped my tail. I felt a snarl rise in my throat and I bared my fangs as I turned my head to snear at her, but her expression stopped me. Her eyes weren't full of horror of fear, but sadness. Of course she was afraid, but only because of me. Not _because _of me. She was afraid _for _me- that I would get hurt. I didn't know how I knew it, but right then and their her soul was screaming for me not to leave her. She would do _anything, _I just couldn't leave her now. My breath hitched and I stared at her in shock, eyes perking and barely heard Collins questions in my head.

_What the fuck Embry, did you imprint? - Why are you mad at Seth? - Holy shit, his girlfriend? - She's kinda cute - You can't kill him! - What now? - Huh? You made her cry! - _

Jab jab jab, it went on like that. With pause, but I really couldn't care about that. All I _could _care about was what Michelles eyes told me. She had to love me, she just _had _to. Again my body did the thinking for me as I phased back, silently grateful to be free of Collins annoying blabbing and just as her knees gave in I caught her. I had destroyed my shorts when I phased and the shreds were spread all over the ground. It meant nothing, all I could think about was her and I crushed her body against mine. My hand wavered into her hair and I fell her wrap her arms around my neck as I crushed my lips against hers, kissing her with desperation and my heart skipped a beat when she returned it just as desperate.

Finally.

My body burned in needs, not sexual needs. Emotional needs. I needed to unite our souls, each a half of the other. Only with her I was truly complete and I knew she had to feel it too. It was so powerful, my lips molded with hers as I rolled my tounge over the sweet swells, only to nearly moan in anticipation as she granted me entress and I darted my tounge in to explore her sweet mouth. We belonged together. Her and me. Forever. It was the path that had been decided for us and nothing, I'll repeat myself; _Nothing, _was allowed to get in the way. At the very least Seth. I swore I really _would _kill him if he tried to take her away from me. I finally had her. I finally had the chance to make her feel just what she did to me. After this there was no way she could go back to Seth and not long for me like I longed for her.

But should she decide for him, I would let her go. I knew they would break up sooner or later, either he imprinted first or she realized just how much it killed her being away from me. The worst that could happen would be that she'd leave us both. I couldn't even let myself think of that option. I knew how stubborn she was, if that was what she decided, not even I'd be able to convince her other wise. The only good thing about it would be that Seth would suffer too, until he imprinted. Stupid jerk, getting in my way. Miki was mine and only mine.

I groaned when she jumped and wrapped her legs around me. My groin was bare and the friction of my sensitive skin against the rough material of her shorts aroused me to no end. I knew she felt my hardness when she moaned into my mouth. New needs washed over me, yes, sexual needs. Well I was a 21 year old healthy boy after all and Miki was my Goddess. She should just look at me the right way and I'd come in my pants. As embarrassing as it sounds, it was true.

I lowered us to the ground and placed her down in the soil as careful as I managed. She really had me burn with passion. The desire to take her right here and right now was all consuming and if she let me I would. I would mark her as mine and not even Seth would be able to change that. But she seemed to have another idea as she her hands pushed against my chest. I became worried that I had done anything wrong, but when I saw her flushed face when I broke the kiss and the lust that swam in her lovely eyes, my guts curled and I felt like I couldn't get any harder. It was achingly painful and would definitely be a problem later if I had to take care of it myself.

The intoxiating sweet smell of her own arousment filled my senses and I melted right on the spot, my chest swelling with joy. She _wanted _me. She wnated me just as bad as I wanted her, but then. Why had she stopped me? A soft smile played in the corners of her lips and I heard her throaty giggle. Her arms held my shoulders and she moved her legs til they touched on my back, trapping me in a wise-like grip in a position that pressed the lower section of our abdomend very, very close. I was trying to be patient until I figured out what she wanted, but she was seri-fucking-ously making it extremely hard for me to focus anymore. I wanted to ground into her, until sweet oblivion filled me and pull her with over the egde, but she was a step ahead of me as she rolled her hips into mine. I groaned darkly with desire as my manhood switched painfully. That was it, my patience snapped and I tore her shorts into shreds, snapping her undergarments in the process and I heard her gasp in shock. But I gave her no time to react as I grapped my member and just took her. I was surprised just how wet and moist she actually was, she was definitely ready for me and my dick pulsed with need as I filled her in one swift thrust.

I saw the horror of her realization when she realized just what I had done, but it was soon drowned when the pleasure washed over her and I groaned when she tightened almost painfully around me. God. I just died and went to heaven. She wrapped me up perfectly, we were one and I was finally feeling complete. I started a slow rythm, she didn't need time to adjust to my size, we were a perfect fit. My pace became faster and harder when her moans urged me on. She'd maybe hate me for this later, but that was fine. As long as I got this moment. no matter what would happen, I would always have this and I would never forget just how perfect she felt. She wasn't too hot and she was just as tight that every thrust made me pulse with my approaching release. At this rate I would come before her, but I realized I worried for nothing when she screamed as she orgasmed around me. She clamped me as her nails dug into my back, she was pulling me as close as she could. Her legs around my waist tightened even more and I felt her pull me in deeper.

I growled with hot need to please her more. The sweet scent of her juices egged me on and I went obeyond human speed as I slammed her into the soft soil of the earth. She was never going to forget just how capable I was of making her forget the world, this was the ultimate pleasure and the best part? It would never be the same, everytime I would take her would be new and better. I was all she needed and she had to know. Even if I had to force her and play dirty. Making her forget Seth would just going to be so easy from now on, I would have this over her. Maybe her mind would long for Seth, but her body would belong to me, and in the end she would surrender completely. It was naughty of me, a dirty trick, but the longer time she spend with him the more poison would he spit on my chance for having what truly belonged to me.

Her words still rang in my ears. _No I don't! I don't belong to you! As little as I belong to Seth! _True, she didn't belong to Seth, but she was misunderstanding something. She _did _belong to me, just like _I _belonged to her. it went both ways.

I slammed her into oblivion and when she came a third time, screaming my name with her melodic voice, I couldn't take it anymore. My body pulsed as my release shot trough me and filled her to the hilth, once, twice, three times. She milked me dry and I shuddered. Her limbs went limp and fell like lax off me to the ground, her chest heaved with every pant she took as her eyes were still dazed with sheer white pleasure. Pride swelled in my chest, she was far away right now, swooning in her aftermath.

I hadn't thought about me when I took her, I swear. I was just so desperate to make her mine, to please her. To make her see what she would have to miss out on if she choose him above me. Seth could _never _please her as I could. He could try as much as he wanted, now that her body had felt the power of the imprint, it would repel the jerk. Slowly anger crept in on me when I failed to shut out the thought that Seth had tainted her. Been in her. My growl seemed to bring her out of her daze and she blinked a few times before I knew realization filled her. I was shaken to the core with shock when I noticed there was no anger in her deep pools, only sadness, deep heart wrenching sadness. I felt like an ass.

I tried to pull out of her, but her legs that wrapped around me again stopped me. I gasped as I stared at her in surprise. She didn't reply to my confused expression but shook her head. Her gaze was locked with mine and I just couldn't look away. She was so sad, so sad and it was my fault, but then it happened. She leaped up and caught my lips in hers, just a soft chaste kiss lasting only a few seconds, but when she pulled away I saw it in her eyes. The burning unmistakingly emotion of love. Love. Holy fuck. I realized just why she was sad. She had decided. She would leave Seth. And me?

She loved me. _Me_.

But she would leave us both. Because of this. She would never be able to face Seth again, I had made the impossible possible and where did it lead to? New pain filled me, a darkness consuming me of the decision she had just made. A decision I had forced her into. What had I done? It was all my fault. She would leave, leave and probaly never come back again. I caused this.

The beginning of the end.

**End of Chapter Six.**

**A/N: **_Sob, poor Embry and poor Seth. You finally realized you did love Embry, but at what cost? Thank you for reading :D Please leave a review and make my day ^^ Updates comes faster with reviews ;D hehehehe~_

**[1]: **Some parts of the hospitals have a so called free zone. Sue was moved to a room with a free zone and cell phones are allowed to be turned on. (It is like this in Denmark where I am from, no idea about The USA, but in my story there is XD)

**Boom#**


	7. Second thoughts

**A/N: **_Hello, a quick disclaimer; I don't own nothing, I wished I owned Demetri, but he's not even in this story. Oh well. Enjoy this story ^^ _

_**Dedicated to Raven589 and Franzii :) Thank you my darling girls for your support ^^**_

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**LETTING GO.**

Is Never Easy.

Seth/Reader. Embry/Reader.

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**Chapter Seven:**

**Second thoughts.**

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**Seth POV.**

". . .What?"

I stared at her as she continued to chew at her french fries as if nothing was out of the ordinary. Leah and fast food, that was a sight to behold. I had known from the moment we entered this god forsaken place, til we ordered, til another suspicious phonecall til now, that something was wrong. Something extremely bad. For me.

"You heard me." She was wearing the same not-convincing-enough-poker-face. Her tune was laced with ignorance like she didn't care at all, but hell. She was my sister; I was just as capable to figure her out as she was to figure me out. Mind reading went both ways. She couldn't hide it for me, maybe for a while, but not forever. And only because I was too damn tolerant.

"Miki is leaving tomorrow. She got an urgent report from school, last minute homework, so she'll be busy with packing all day. Seems like you hafta go to the bonfire alone. Good thing you have me huh?" She gave me a loopsided grin, which just so happened to snap my temper completely. I shot up from the mahogany chair and crashed my hands as hard down on the also mahogany round table form. The else strong wood cracked like brances under my force and the circle split in two. Leahs french fries ended all over the floor, in her lap and even some in her hair. Like I cared.

"Dammit Leah! Quit your lame exuses and just tell me what is going on. What happened to Michelle?" The tension was thick, other costumers was filling the room with gasps and wide eyed gazes, looking from me to Leah repeatedly. The owner looked ready to trow us out, but apparantly too afraid to opose against me as long as I was in this mood, very wise. Once pissed off I could be quite terrible.

"Very well." Disgust came over her pretty face as she picked out the potato slices from her hair, trowing them away like she was burned. She got up from her chair as well, reached down into her wallet, sauntered over to the counter and placed a great amount of cash on the smooth surface, a little too much for what we had to give for the food and shakes, but I guess it served for payment for what I just broke. She looked very displeased as she left the place, me hot on her tail. I didn't care about her subtle anger right now, I was beyond pissed and just wanted to know what the _fuck _was going on. Why Miki was leaving, the _real _reason this time. I was in love with the woman for christ sake! Didn't I have a right to know?

When we reached the old car, her wine-coloured peugeot revolte, she didn't bother to get in as she just leaned against the side door to the drivers seat and faced me. She looked mad now, I could almost see the veins popping at her temple. I braced myself from some serious scolding or more lame exuses, but surprisingly she went right to the chase.

"Right after you left, Embry came over." My breath hitched. Embry? What did he have to do with this? I felt stupid for even asking that, though it was to myself. He had everything to do with this, but the realization rendered me helpless. Her face was completely serious as she watched for my reactions. I could almost taste where this was going, my despair grew and I stood like frozen. The taste was so bad and filled my mouth with rotten liqued. She nodded once and closed her eyes.

No. Fucking. Way.

"Seth. Embry imprinted on Michelle." My world stopped, right there. I ceased in existence, not in a pleasant way at all. The pitch black sheen swooped me up and dragged me down to the bottom of hell. Blasphemi. She was lying. She _had _to be lying. Slowly I shook my head just as the reast of me started to shake. My hands trembled violently and I fisted my fingers into balls, my knuckles turning white. My muscles flexed, but I found myself unable to move. Not Michelle. My Michelle. Embry couldn't be destinied to be with _my _Michelle!

. . . No. I couldn't believe it. I _wouldn't _believe it. This had to be some sort of sick joke. A complot even _she _was in on. Miki.

Leah didn't move either, just as she didn't speak either. Hell. Fuck. No. This was for real. She wasn't just handing my ass to me, she was fucking serious while doing it! My legs gave in under me and I fell to the ground, standing on only my knees now. I felt so weak, all my strenght was gone. With one sweep I was an empty shell. Left by my crab who had found one bigger and better than me. A crab named Michelle. She would leave me.

Realization sauntered in. She wasn't just leaving me. She was leaving him too? Leah said so, she'd leave tomorrow. But. . . Why? My eyes found Leahs again, my confusion laid out plain to see and I begged to that she understood. Begged to that I was wrong. Fuck. If Embry had. . . Had done _anything _to her. I shook with more fevor as the anger trembled trough me, Leah nodded as she did understand. She wasn't my bitchy sister for nothing. She heaved a sigh and ran a hand trough her semi long hair as she looked away.

"You wont like it, just don't go and kill him okay?" I already hated where this was going. Just like I hated just how natural it seemed to be for her. Okay, she had felt heartbreak first hand. Heart break caused by imprinting, but it didn't make her a fucking professional. So she just had to get the hell on with it.

"He made a mistake. She sought him out, on my request actually, to talk with him. Regarding you." I swallowed hard, what was with those sick pauses? Just keep going dammit, it almost couldn't get worse right? Silently I Begged that was true. My mind repeating the same over and over. _Please say he kissed her, please say he kissed her. _It was the only thing I found myself able to slip trough the fingers, anything more and. . . And I'd probaly kill him, yeah. But really, I didn't need the fucking long sided story with all the gory details. Just drop the bomb already and tell me what I asked for. This wasn't the least easy for me and she really wasn't helping.

"I guess in some twisted way it's my fault. But well-" I cut her off with a terrifying dark growl. She was testing my self control too much, my patience was running _real _thin now. With every fucking not important word trough her mouth, one more time and I'd snap. She just scowled as her eyes met mine.

"I was getting to it, this is not easy for me either Seth." Oh, but she was putting on quite a show of selfcontrol with her damn attitude.

"Fine, you asked for it." Hell yes I did, so hurry up. I didn't have to voice the words at this point all my emotions was a tad too easy to read anyways. I was practically horrified already, a dying prey just waiting for the final killing stab.

"He impaled her. They had sex. S. E. X." In mock anger she spelled and capitalized each dreaded letter for me. Didn't I just love my sister? Too bad it had me paralyzed and I couldn't slice her throat as much as I wished to do it. I was completely in shock, my eyes as big as dinner plates, my hands still fisted, shaking and my mouth hang open. My heart stopped apruptly as the words _really _sank in, hitting me just as hard a second time. He impaled her. I wasn't stupid, I knew what she meant even though she tried to sugar it up. He raped her. He fucking _raped _her.

My temper cracked fast in a terrible fury I launched myself at her, but Leah was faster as she trew me back with a well placed kick. My body flew across the lot and hit a telephone pole. Before I could do as much as breath she was back over me, pinning me to the ground as she hissed at me to calm down. She was my beta, my superior, I had no choice but to calm down, as much as I wished I could oppose. But it was better doing as she said than phasing right here and now. In full puplic. I'd admit that much.

She yanked me off the ground, supporting my weight as she hauled me all the way to her peugeot revolte. The passenger door was ripped open with a loud sound and she pushed me in, roughly. The door smacked closed behind me and she activated the children lock, though she should know if I really wanted to get out, nothing as stupid as a security for kids would stop me. She went to the drivers seat and yanked the door up and sat in. People were starring by now, at this point mostly because they were impressed by my sisters display of power and many seemed to pity me, pfft fucking strangers, they could go to hell.

I could hardly breath. I was drowned in a billion of emotions. Anger cursed violently trough my veins, my blood was boiling as my tempature kept rising. I was still trembling, terrible close to phase any given moment now, but Leah kept ordering me to calm down, I'd wait until in the rez at least. I didn't even care enough to fight with my control, I _wanted _to loose it, I _wanted _to tear, rip and bite at _everything _in my way. The rage was all consuming. I wanted him _dead! _

The drive home was quiet, beside the roaring sound of the engine as Leah pushed it more than it could go. It protested when its limmits where reached and coughed in a sick way. As soon as we hit the reservation and she pulled up in the driveway next to our house I was out. I bolted out trough the door, ripping it open regardless of the lock and nearly pulled it off its hinges in the process. Leah hissed and yelled after my retreathing form, but I openly ignored her. Yes, I wasn't listening anymore, didn't hear a thing, not even the nature around me as I let the trembles quake and control my body. I was long gone as I pushed my still humanoid body trough the thick branches, ignoring the slaps and cuts of the leafs and woody sticks on my bare skin. I tore my shirt off and trew it somewhere behind me, not caring about the shorts or the shoes and let it happen. The waves consumed me and I left the empty shell of my human self behind. Bye to Seth and hello to mighty sand coloured beast.

Too bad I wasn't alone.

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**Normal POV.**

There was no passion behind as you packed your belongings. You just randomly stuffed it down in the huge sports slash back pack, slowly as you fought the tears. It was enough, you'd already cried your heart out dozens of time today, but the tears seemed endless, taunting you. You knew you didn't want to leave, but you couldn't stay either, it was too late for that.

Your eyes wandered over the thick carpenet floor, over the bed to the nightshelf. On the counter right by the corner next to the stand-lamp laid it, Emilys home cell phone. You stared at it, unable to form any coherent thoughts. Jared had used that one too, but now it was here, making you feel sick. You had called Leah, she was the only one person in the entire universe you knew the number off, she'd forced it on you before you left, you'd been surprised it still was the same. Funny enough she'd been very calm when you explained to her what had happened, you'd almost not been able to bring the words over your lips, but you forced yourself to be honest. She hadn't opposed against your decision to leave, though she had reminded you she stood behind Seth, in the end he'd maybe be able to get over this, but she wanted to be sure you wouldn't regret it. You hadn't replied, but asked her of a favor. She had agreed to tell him, explain him everything. How you hated doing this to him, you really did. He had done nothing wrong to desurve it.

It was Embry - wince - no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't get your mind off of him, you saw his face as you'd seen him when he looked at you. When he realized your decision with horror and panic. Regret had been all over him, but you felt nothing of the sort. Regret wasn't one of the million emotions haunting you, and it just added to your shame. Hadn't he fullfilled your desires - both of yours - then you'd have made him, eventually. Because it felt so right.

And that was what made it so wrong.

So you'd leave. Run off again, with your tail between your legs like so many times before, like always. Fucking brilliant. Apparantly it was the only thing you were really good at, not something you could escape; Once a coward, always a coward. You just didn't belind here, you home were back in Seattle. Now it felt like it was light years away, or like on the other side of the globe, China. But you knew one thing for sure, once you were there, back in your familiar home, it'd feel too close, like you'd meet them on the streets any day. You'd probaly lock yourself up inside, only going out for food, only drink water, never leave more than neccessesary, and when school started, you'd be afraid every single day. It'd be hell.

Seth came back to your mind, Leah must have told him by now. Shit. You couldn't even start to comperent what he'd do. He was your best friend, a kind, wonderful and amazing boy, but once he lost it- You shook all over and tried to drwon the images, why were you also so worried about him? Not Seth, but. . . Embry. . . If you could you'd talk with Seth, if he'd even want to see you again, period. You still loved him, of course you did, but you were just human. Apparantly it was possible to love two ment at the same time, because you did. You loved Embry - ouch - Somehting in you really loved him, and more than Seth. Still, the side that loved Seth was still more dominating and it hated Embry beyond coherency.

He was a threat, he had hurt you, removed his chance as he destroyed the relationship you had with Seth. Destroyed your life as you knew it, it wasn't even an overstatement. You felt horrible, drained form energy as from spirit, you were hollow, empty, only the pieces of your broken heart drummed unevenly and dull in your ears.

You nearly jumped trough the roof and a soundless scream tore from your lips, a low gasp filled the room instead when Emilys cell started to ring. The monotone meoldy filled the room and you shivered. Your hand was pressed against your chest in order to calm your racing heart beat, it was frantic and unsteady, absolutely out of control and so where your thoughts, scattered for the wind. You stared at it, almost as if it was dangerous, that it would jump you any minut and tear the last remnants of your heart out and devour it. You took a single step, then another, slowly nearing the night stand. Reaching out with a shaking hand, you carefully grapped the white phone and held it up. It was a unfamiliar number, any number beside Leahs or you own were unfamiliar. It still rang, apparantly the person on the other line was a very patient one. Finally it stopped and you blinked. Quickly your fingers moved as you pressed the re-dial and listened to the beeping sound before the phone was picked up at the other line after the first ring.

"Miki?" Relief gushed trough you with ease and you slumped in your shoulders as the tears ran in hot trails down your face, your cheeks were red and flushed, you felt like you had a fever. But it didn't matter, you knew that voice, that beautiful soft feminine voice you had come to love over the past few days. Silently your hand covered your mouth, a small smile forming and you stuttered out her name.

"Emily." You could almost hear her smile as she was filled with her own relief. Immediately cooing soothingly into the phone with a soft tune to calm you, it wasn't much, but it worked. You had expected Leah to call you back by now. No. You _dreaded _Leah would call you back. She was your friend, but also Seths sister and she would tell him. _Had _told him. No matter how it went, you doubted you'd like any of it. Emily spoke again, the natural softness to her voice did wonders to calm you down and the mild shaking stopped, at least for now. You fell down on the bed with slump shoulders and heavy breathing. Your limps fell lax and unmoveable.

"How are you sweety? I heard everything from Leah, she just called me in the hospital. I'm on my way home now." You flinched when she mentioned Leah, she'd told him already, you knew, but it still upset you. He must be hurting so much, so bad. No matter how horrible _you _felt, Seth had to feel worse. You knew Leah, she loved her brother and hated lying to him, she'd told him everything. You couldn't speak, only thick sobs spilled from your dry lips and you heard Emily gasp in the other line. You could almost see her face before you. Faintly in the background you heard the roar of an engine, you wondered how soon she'd be here. Soon you hoped, you felt like hell.

"Oh, baby girl, Shh. It's okay. I'll be there shortly, so hang on okay? Sam is with me, you want to talk to him?" From the sound of her words and the low mumbled from a man close to you, told you it was probaly Sam who wanted to talk to _you. _You hesitated for a moment and then nodded your head, realizing how stupid that was since there was no where in hell she'd be able to see it, but no words left your lips. It didn't seem necessary as you a few second after heard Sams odd masculine voice, it was thick with experience, but suited him perfectly well.

"Michelle. I saw what happened. After you left, Embry lost it, he phased and we saw everything he'd seen. He feels horrible and I don't support what he did. I am not going to persuave you to stay, but I want - if possible - to find an easy way to solve this, you understand?" Your breath hitched when he mentioned _his _name, but you kept nodding your head. Sam had an odd effect on you, it was easy to see his perspective on things and silently you wished you'd been blood related. having Sam as a brother, that'd be wonderful. You knew he was able to symphatize the most with -wince- Embry, after all he had been rejected by his soul mate once too; Emily. You just doubted you'd change your decision and were grateful he wouldn't try and make you.

"Miki?" Apparantly he'd spoken what he had needed to and handed the phone back, because Emily talked now. Your body trembled in soft quakes again, you just wanted to dissapear. They were all so nice people, warm hearted, fun and you already loved them. Like family, they only wanted the best for you, but it weren't just about _you. _They wanted the best for _them _too, would try to satisfy all of you. It just seemed so hopeless now.

"We can see the house now, can you hear the truck? . . . I'll be right there, hon, everything will be okay." She hang up and your arm fell lax against the comforter as you lost the grip on the cell phone who fell to the ground with a dul thump as it made impact with the thick carpet. You wanted to believe her last words; _Everything will be okay._ It was just hard to do so, it really _did _look hopeless and dark.

Just moments after you heard the truck pull up and the roar of the engine died out. The car doors opened and closed, their voices were low and you couldn't make up any of the words, but no time passed before you heard Emilys light foot-steps on the stair case as she made her way to your door. She didn't knock as she pushed the screeching wooden door up and peeked inside. The tears swelled up, nearly blocking your vision to her familiar and kind face, she had never been more beautiful. Even with an expression torn in worry she was so loving, so motherly. The next you knew she was beside you, hugging you close in her soft arms.

"Oh, Miki, oh. I am so sorry dear." She cooed again as she made you rest your face at her shoulder, your hot tears stained her cotton cut brown jacket with wet spots, she didn't seem to mind. You heard the front door go open again and knew it had to be Sam. Was he leaving already? Slowly she pulled your face up and hold it in both her hands, her small warm hands.

"He will go find Seth. Leah said he lost it and if Embry is still-" She watched you flinch and her brows corked in concern, but she didn't ask as she continued. "Sam is worried that if they get into a fight he might not be able to bring the appart. He is not their Alpha anymore and Jacob is still by the Cullens. I think Paul and Jared left to get him, I know Quil want to join them, but Claire needs someone to look after her, she refuses to stay with Sue all alone. You swallowed thick as you nodded. Yes of course. You didn't want this. You didn't want them to fight. It was hurting you so much. You rememered how frightened you had been when - you forced yourself to think his name - Embry, had phased, how horrible the thought had been if anything would happen to him, and to Seth. And now you had dragged Sam into it, not just Sam, his entire pack, or the ones you knew of them at least. Even thought wether Embry - Flinch, ow - or Seth belonged to his pack no longer. You realized they had once, but what would it change really?

Emily sighed softly as she released her grip on your cheeks and hugged you tightly again. her hand caressed the lenght of your hair and she petted it softly. You knew she understood you, if not completely then at least very well and it was soothing to know - maybe a little sick too - that there was a small chance, that since she'd been able to survive all this once, that it would for you too. That _you _would have a happy ending. A happily ever after, a stupid fairytale concept, but a beautiful one. If the monsters and wonders from fairytales existed, then why not the beauty of it? Why couldn't you be Cinderella, or sleeping Beauty, or Snowwhite?

"Miki, if they start to fight. . . It's not. . . I mean, it _won't _be like their usual fights. The boys often wrestle for the fun of it, it's their ways to sort out their differences. Right now Embry has more advantage, he is definitely more experienced than Seth. So far Seth have never been able to win over him. Miki, I am so worried, it might end-" You had to stop her and you pressed your hand against her mouth as you shook your head violently. It wasn't helping, you knew already. You knew they'd go for the kill, both of them and it was making you sick. They would try to kill each other, because of you. God, you should never had been born, never have befriended Seth, never should you have fallen in love with him. If you never had, then you'd still be friends, and . . . Embrys imprinting would have been different, you'd have been able to be interested, to get to know him, to fall in love and Seth, Seth would be the worst of the boys to taunt you with it, tease you and laugh with you. Just like he always did when you crushed on a boy. It was so Seth. But this was reality, in real life you were apparantly meant to suffer with loosing everything dear to you.

You almost gagged, acid from your stomach hit your throat and you pushed away from Emily to cover your mouth, crushing your hand against your lips to prevent anything from spilling, you already felt it on the back of your tounge. Puking on Emilys linned wouldn't earn you any more points, but you felt so nauseaous. God . or someone up there - seriously hated your guts, or it was just payback for all the wrong you had done in your life, like ever being born. You hated Emilys pitiful expression, but you let her help you up and take you to the bathroom.

This had to have an end.

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**Embry POV.**

I went for the throat. My determination was unbreakable and so was his. As his blood filled my mouth I couldn't even think of how it came to this. In one moment I had been all alone, my thoughts had been on her, how her face looked the last time I saw her, before she walked away. She didn't run, she just walked. How the darkness had swooped me up and brought me away. How the pain claimed for my soul and my body went weak. Anger took me and I ran off and grapped on to the last straw I had left. I phased, the fur was thick and heavy on my body, I felt the dirt under my paws, the usual freedom was transformed into a prison and I remembered her expression when she saw me like this. Pure horror, she had been beyond frightened. I'd howled out my pain, tried to just dissapear, running everywhere and nowhere and in an instant he was there. His thoughts invaded my mind, I felt his pain, his anger and fury overtook me at the same.

My thoughts were so much more dominant than his, after all I loved her more, the emotions I held, the pain I felt, his didn't even come close. He saw it all, I made him see it. All the sweet moments I had been able to take, the sensations that now were mere memories, but yet still so powerful as they filled me. It took him by surprise, he was shocked to see just how easily I had claimed her, how strongly she had responded to me, how she had wanted more. Her hands had clawed my back, her legs had tightened around my waist as she pulled me deeper, clamped around me as I made her come again and again. I felt the pain this caused him, his accusations, no, I never raped her, I did nothing more than she wanted of me. She had wanted it, with all her heart, just like I had. But Seth was sceptic, he didn't believe me, _wouldn't _believe me. He felt betrayed, abandoned. I didn't care, the pain this caused me was so much more worse than his. She belonged to me, he knew that. It pissed him off, how I'd dared to take it away from him, his happiness. What about me? Badluck had trailed me like a magnet, my life had been hell, my own mother was my personal devil. Finally happiness and luck washed in over me and _he _took it away, because she loved him. I cared shit about how he felt, he had to pay.

He thought the same, finding a location wasn't hard. I walked out from between the branches and saw his shadow across the field. His huge sand coloured form emitted from the trees, his fangs bared at me and mine bared at him. My fur stood up in thick strains on the back of my neck, he looked just as rage filled as me, his right paw scrapped the dirt and then we leaped. We wasted no second as we trew us self at each other. He bit at my throat, I bit at his. He knew I had the advantage, we had often fought for fun, never like this, but I always won. I was faster than him, I was nearly as fast as Leah, as much as it bugged me, she'd still hold the record. But never had I felt this enormous strenght Seth possesed, his mind was completely poluted. His usual pure thoughts were replaced with dark ones that would shock even Edward Cullen to the core. There was no doubt, he wanted me dead, so did I, I wanted _him_ dead. That was our logic, only the one that survived would have Michelle. She couldn't belong to any of us, both of us, any other way.

He had be down many times, I was about to loose control, he was skilled, much better than I had ever exprienced, it made me wonder if he'd always held back or that he just never had a reason to fight seriously. It just pissed me more off, there was no way he was going to win this. Even if I had to play dirty, my set of mind was more powerful than his, given my emotions was more powerful. She was my imprintee, she belonged to me, the bond there should be between us was unbreakable and I used it against Seth. I'd never valued the skill of invading each others mind as much as now, I haunted him with the images. The images of Michelles pleasure writhen face, how she'd kissed me, hold me. It made me stronger and made him flinch. I found an opening and bit so deep into his troath I stroke a vein, his blood filled my mouth and he howled in pain. I tore at him, bit and clawed everywhere I could reach, from this point on he got weaker and weaker. His strenght betrayed him and he fell to the ground, but I didn't stop. He didn't ask me to stop, he didn't beg. He suffered in silence as the images kept filling his mind and I saw his vision blur. He was giving up, accepting he'd die now, by my hand, my paw. Still I couldn't stop. I really _wanted _him dead.

I trew him away, against a tree, it tore up upon his weight and split in two. He fell to the ground with a heavy crash, barely breathing as his throat was torn open. I could leave him there to die, but I wasn't stupid, I had to make sure he was completely dead, or else I couldn't rest. With a sweep I turned around and leaped, ready to give the finishing blow, but then it went wrong. He came to his feet and met my attack head on. I felt the invasion in my chest. I couldn't feel his teeth or his fur. The wolf I'd been fighting with was gone and I couldn't hear his thoughts in my mind anymore. He'd phased back. When and how he'd grapped the log was beyond me. He was completely covered in blood, his own and . . . Mine. The thick liqued just kept flooding out of me and spilled all over him, he smirked oddly satisfied before he let go and I fell to the ground. I was frozen, the thick pole he had tossed trough my stomach was still there, but I couldn't feel it, the pain had been taken away from the quick impact. I was unable to control my body anymore and the wolf me dissapeared. In my human body I felt the pain, it was heart wrenching and it'd be the dead of me.

He fell to the ground before me, he was coughing blood up, his hand clutching his throath as he tried to stop the bleeding, and failed. The dark substance kept leaving him, making him paler and I was absolutely sure his paling face mirrored my own. I could feel the important fluid of my life leave my body far too quick, I felt dizzy and I knew at this rate; We'd both die. But then my eyes met his, and he smiled. It wasn't the same smile as before, there was nothing mocking about it, nothing there to make me hate him in my last moment. He was just Seth, his warm sunny smile caused trough me and made me feel warm and oddly loved. He was my old friend, my pack brother. I felt my own smile tug at the corner at my lips as I mimicked him. A high pitched odd unpleasant sound left his troath, trough the second breath hole I'd given him when I punctured his air road, and I realized he was laughing. Before I could stop it I was laughing too, it was a little easier for me, but my chest burned, the fire licking its way up trough my throat as well and soon we both coughed violently. This was the end.

But neither of us minded, it had been a fair fight and maybe it was for the best. Michelle had decided to leave, I just hoped, no, _we _hoped she'd never find out. It would kill her, she'd not want to live, but neither of us could bear the thought of her ending her life, of loosing her even though we'd both die here. I reached my hand out and smiled again as he grapped it. I held his hand tight in mine as I heaved the last few breaths I had left, we only looked at each other. There wasn't many differences between me and Seth, we'd realized soon after me and Quil had entered Jakes pack. Of all of us me and Seth fought the most, goofed the most and I'd found myself loving the punk. He was like the brother I never had had. Trough his eyes I even started to like Leah, I snorted and immediately regretted it. Fuck it hurt. The highpitched sound from him was back as he laughed at me. I laughed back. _I'm so sorry Seth, god man, I never wanted to hurt you. How did we let it come so far? Oh yeah, Michelle. _He couldn't hear my thoughts when we were both in human form, but I knew he understood as he nodded his head. being so close and able to always enter each others mind did oddly syncronize your ways of thinking. Just looking into his eyes I knew his answer. They were foggy as I knew he was fighting with keeping them open, he'd probaly draw his last breath before me. I squeezed his hand and horror filled me when there was no response, his eyes were closed and the frantic rythm of his heart beat had stopped. I panicked as I tried to get up, but the log in my stomach sank in deeper and I groaned with pain. I felt the tears swell, it was too late anyways. He was dead. I killed him.

My breath hitched as I trembled, I wouldn't be able to phase like this, I was too weak, too vulnerable. Secretly I wished I'd die already too, I couldn't bear watching him anymore, I'd fucking killed him. I'd fucking killed _Seth! _The innocent little punk from my pack, who always had his wierd way to make us laugh, make me feel better when I was completely down. He was more than just my friend, he was _part _of me. What had I done? The regret and pain was never ending. And why had I done this? Because of a girl. A girl that'd leave me anyways. I couldn't stop the heart wrenching howl that spilled from my throat, it filled the forest and a thick silence fell in around us as a dark echo. It was over, I'd die too. My mind went foggy and I groaned as I fell the last few inches til my face hit the ground. I still held his lifeless hand in mine, it was still warm. I pulled myself slowly over the ground, trying to reach him as I slid my arm up the lenght of his, I grapped his elbow as his hand rested by mine. It was the handshake we always used. With a last smile my lids closed, just as the nauseating sweet smell I knew all too well reached my nose. Leeches, even in death they haunted us, probaly some that wanted revenge, after all we'd killed a lot lately. Fucking blood suckers. Something cold grapped me, I caught a glimpse of bronze hair and golden topaz eyes, a silk smooth voice shouting my name.

And then everything went black.

* * *

**Jacob POV.**

I couldn't believe it. The _FUCK _had those idiots been doing while I was gone? It was so typical, you couldn't turn you back to them for one fucking mili second before they screwed everything up. I knew I was probaly unfair, but I yet had to learn what happened. I just knew from Paul and Jared that Seth and Embry was going to kill each other. First I had laughed of them, believing they had to be joking, because it was so far out it probaly came from space. Seriously, Seth in a death fight? With Embry? They often fought for fun, why was this anything different? But their serious faces rendered me speechless, they were absolutely not joking. Fuck. I was so gonna kick their asses for ruining my perfect weekend, I had even had Ness all for myself, she wasn't old enough yet, though she looked like a 13 year old already, still every second I had with her was pure heavenly bliss. I just had no choice, my pack was in danger. I knew Paul and Jared, if they were that serious it wasn't a joke, something was really up.

It wasn't til Quil joined our little group that I learned the truth. Emily had told him everything, he'd been able to bring Claire to them after he finally convinced her he had to help. Quil, he was so soft and good it made me sick sometimes, but I smiled. He was my best friend, my brother and our third half was in trouble. And Seth. Damn, he was a lot like me, a little too innocent, but I was almost just like him when I was a kid. For him to loose it, damn it _had _to be serious. And it had been. I almost froze in tracks when Quil explained. Seth had brought his girlfriend with as he learned of his mothers hospitalization, and that girl, I remembered her; Michelle Ryann, she just so happened to be Embrys imprint. As soon as Quil had mentioned the girl I had felt it coming. Damn. And of course she'd gone and rejected my friend in favor of Seth. I could understand it, they were in love, fuck. Suddenly it couldn't go fast enough. I didn't plan to loose any of my pack brothers because of an imprint, Seth was young and he'd find his happiness once, I hoped. And Embry, damn if anyone desurved happiness now it was him. How in the fucking world Seth could be so selfish was beyond me. If I found them alive I'd give him a serious spanking._ If_. I regretted the use of word, not if, but _when _I found them alive. They should just try and dare being dead.

Edward had decided to join us, we didn't phase til we reached the border of the treaty line, though the treaty was long broken. The truce wasn't neccesarry anymore, we all lived in piece. In some twisted way the Cullens became our family, at least mine. All because of her; My Renesmee. She had wanted to come too, but her mother, Bella, kept her home with the rest. It was fine, we was enough and I knew Edward was geniunely worried for Seth, somehow these two had managed to bond a friendship as strong as the one I had with Bella, once back in time, a friendship we still had. I would always love her, now she was my mother-in-law though. Under different circumstances I'd have snickered of that thought alone, she'd freak out if I called her so. I had to try it sometime. Edward grimaced beside me and I realized he read my thoughts. I was the last one who phased, I had seen the other flinch and Edward too, but I first understood why when the intense thoughts and hatred from Seth and Embry washed trough me. I saw everything trough their eyes, how they eyed each other until they attacked and horror filled me. They hadn't realized our intrusion, all they saw was the hate and desire to kill the other. It was horrible, I felt it all, it was too intense, to powerful. Edward saw it all trough our minds, mostly trough mine as I was closest to him. I knew he hated it just as much as me, and I felt bad for letting him mix into this. He could be a great help, but it made him sick, it was so obvious.

I tried to speak to them, but they couldn't hear me. Somehow they'd managed to build up a bubble of barrier, we could see their every thought and every image like from a movie, but nothing we said or did was noticeable to them. They kept going, clawing and biting each other, they wouldn't stop til any or they both were death. Fuck. If they survived I'd kill them both. Edward nearly smiled to me when he heard that thought and I grimaced, yeah alright, I wouldn't really kill them, I'd just make them wish I would. He nearly laughed then and I smiled; The best a wolf could. It was no time for joking around like this and I turned sharp to the right. It was hard seeing just where they were, but as Edward spoke I knew exactly where they were. He knew the place, it was the huge field I had once searched for with Bella, before my change happened, the one that meant so much for her. She had never told me why, but I could get the story later. Edward nodded and followed me. I almost howled in anguish and Edward cried a heart wrenching _NO! _When Seth was trown against a tree after his throat was torn open. Embry was going for the killer strike and we knew we had very little time left. We were both shocked to the core when Seths mind was gone and we didn't realize what happened before a thick wooden log went right trough Embrys chest. I snarled with fury and despair as I felt his shock and the following pain. But then something happened non of us expected, something that had us nearly crying. Embry had dissapeared from our mind the moment we reached the field, but the scene there was to behold us made my breath hitch. They were smiling, holding each hands, goofy smiles and strained laughter came from them. Fuck those stupid idiots. I phased back, my fist clenched tightly at my sites and I really couldn't bother less about clothes. My own tears fell down my hot cheeks and I growled low. Edward grapped my shoulder and I understood the silent words in his eyes. We had to move fast. Just as we sprinted over the field towards them, other Cullens appeared, Doctor fang- Ehm, Carlisle, his wife Esme and Bella, quickly explaining Rose took Ness. Edward went to Seth immediately and I watched my pack brothers arrive as well, Bella helped Edward and I went to Embry, I took his pulse and breathed out relieved; He was still alive, but barely. Carlilse took Seth from Edward, he needed help the most and Edward went to my side and liftet up Embry, turning him so I could grap the log. Carlisle informed me once it was out we had very little time, I nodded my head.

And then I pulled.

We brought them back to the Cullens house and inside the office of the doctor. He didn't chase us out as he usually would, he needed all the help he could get. I pressed my hands as tight against the open wound in Embrys stomach as I could, there had been great force behind when Seth trew the log into him, I had to hand him that, the pup was getting stronger for every passing day. Carlilse tended to Seth first, he was the one closest to say bye bye and therefor first priority. At first I had believed it was too late, I couldn't even hear his heart now, but said he could, it was very faint and very slow and he wasn't even breathing, but he was still alive and there was hope, for both of them. I watched Bella start to wash Embrys wound, she'd become a nurse my now, she almost held the same amount of self control as Carlisle, it was nearly insane, but she was good as what she did, and helping people was what she wanted. Blood was no longer disgusting to her, but not as appealing she would loose control. I wouldn't let any of them die, nada, zip, absolutely not. They were more than pack members, they were my friends, my brothers, my family. Nessie held my hand and I smiled weak to her.

There was nothing _I _could do, so I left. Carlisle smiled apolegic to me but I shook my head, I trusted them. Yes, I knew his skills, he had saved my ass more than once after all. Now it was up to them, to _him_, but I wouldn't just stick around and wait, I had another mission to tend to. I gave Ness a tight hug and told her I would be back tonight, she nodded and smiled to me, a sad smile and it made my heart ache, but it was better than nothing. Jared, Quil and Paul accompanied me and we phased to reach La-Push faster. We split up as Paul and Jared would run the bondaries, me and Quil both heading for the same location, our goal, Emilys house. On the way we met Sam, he wasn't inside our head, but I gave him permission to hear my mind and I took every single information he held with gratitude. The girl I was going to see, Michelle, she was torn between her own hatred for herself and the love for the two boys now in the hands of the skilled Doctor. I couldn't pity her, I knew Quil did, but it was beyond me, I had to talk with her, let her know what her stubbornity had caused and the state of the boys. They could die any minut now and if she still wished to leave, fine. She should just know she wouldn't be welcome here again, never, not as long as I was alive and given Nessie was just as immortal as me, it was a _very _long time.

Sam would join the Cullens and see what he could do, I agreed and then we reached the house. Quil phased first and bolted in trough the door, followed by me. The little Claire sprang up and hugged him immediately, Emily looked reliefed as she saw my collected face, she had been ready for anything now and I tried to smile to her, but I failed. She left Claire in the safe hands of Quil as she lead me upstairs. The girl was spread on the bed, her eyes were completely empty and for a moment I _did _pity her. The way I had seen her trough Embry and Seths mind and trough Sams had all been completely different views, seeing her with my own two eyes painted a different image of her. She was without doubt extremely beautiful, a natural beauty. Her long hair reminded me of Nessies the way it curled at the ends and fell over her shoulders. It was a rich brown colour, her eyes burgundy and she stared at nothing particular. I motioned for Emily to leave us alone. She had placed herself at the girls side as she patted Michelles arm, silently telling her we were here. Her eyes met mine just as Emily rose, and I told myself I had a purpose to be here. I didn't care for response or not, I just had to tell her how it was and would be.

The door closed behind us and I took a step closer, I grapped a chair and sat down on it reversed. My hands crossed on the back of the chair and I silently met her gaze. Slowly but steady life creeped back in her eyes and she sat up. I felt the chills run down my back, it was neither of pleasure or not, just chills of seeing how dead she was. She moved very slow as she moved her legs out over the bed, her feet barely reached the ground and for a moment her eyes left mine as she looked to her night desk. There was a letter there, I could see the amount of words scribbled on the surface. It was probaly a note she had written for the boys. Her eyes found mine and she nodded when she saw the silent question. I grapped the note and trailed my eyes over each formed letter and word. My breath almost hitched when the emotions behind the letter sank in. I had misunderstood, she wasn't leaving because they weren't good enough for her, but she couldn't decide, she was so hopeless in love with both of them. It reminded me of me, of Edward and Bella. She'd been torn between her love for me and him. My hands trembled as I read the note again;

_I am sorry._

_Seth, you've always been able to make me smile._

_Whenever I was with you I was complete, you know how much I love you._

_I've needed nothing in my life as much as I knew I needed you._

_When we lost the contact something in me died._

_I tried to be understanding, but it was hard._

_First now, after I saw you again, finally able to spend time with you, like in the old days,_

_first then I realized just how much I already loved you._

_I always have, and it'll never change, please forget about me._

_I'm not leaving because of . . . Embry. . ._

_So don't blame him._

_I feel terrible for doing this to you. I never wanted to ruin your friendship._

_My decision is made of my own selfishness entirely._

_I'm a coward. A stupid coward. I've always been._

_I love you._

_Embry. . ._

_I never really noticed you._

_The times I did you were just like any other boy, always happy and smiling._

_A little goofy to times and I found that I always liked to watch you fool around._

_Your silly jokes and your warm smile was intriguing and never once did I expect you did not have the perfect life._

_I didn't realize the struggles you'd been trough before Leah told me._

_I don't pity you, but even if I did. You could forgive me, right?_

_I'd been prepared for that Seth would leave me someday._

_But that you. . . What happened when you saw me._

_It shocked me. I wasn't prepared and I am so sorry for all the suffering I caused you._

_I am not leaving because of you. What we had, was so special to me._

_Please believe it, because it's the truth._

_In so short a time you made me realize just how wonderful the world was._

_I fell in love with you._

_So strongly I never thought was possible._

_I'm a coward Embry, I always try to run away when anything goes wrong._

_I don't belong here, you'd be better off without me. Both of you._

_I don't desurve you._

_But I love you, so, so much._

_I wish I could change things. I wish I would stop loving Seth._

_I love you._

_I love you._

_I love you._

_Michelle._

I placed the letter back at the night shelf and looked back at her. It surprised me she was smiling, just faintly as she looked at me more intense than before. I realized I was crying when the wetness stained my shirt. I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand before I cleared my throat. How could I hate her when she suffered so greatly? She hang her head low and I felt my heart ache. I reached forward, the chair stumbled to the ground as I lifted up her chin with my hand. She was crying too. With my other hand I wiped away the hot trails and shot her a smile. The words I had been determined about telling her, my rules, they were gone. But my face grew serious when I realized I had to tell her the truth. I sat down beside her and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, pulling her into my fabriced chest and rested my chin on her head. She was shaking mildly under my touch and I heaved a sigh.

"Sorry to tell you, they got into a fight and nearly killed each other. We took them to the Cullens, they have a skilled doctor who is fighting to save their lives now." She flinched and I heard the whine in her throat as she swallowed several sobs, the tears running hot and thick again. I hummed low and rubbed her arm. I'd never imagined I'd sit here and comfort the single person that caused all this, as little as I knew she'd expected I'd be nice to her. Somehow she knew from the moment she saw me who I was. I hadn't seen her for what felt like a century, yet she remembered me better than I did her. I knew she'd been running around a lot with Leah before her attention turned to Seth, the worst she could ever have done. I sighed again. At least she genuinely loved both of them and she regretted it more than I could compeherend. It was just so stupid she'd run away. A coward she'd said, but that didn't mean just because she used to be one that she'd be one for life. I was a coward too, I'd run away more than once in my stupid despair, in order to be alone. I'd just abandoned my pack, but they'd been there with open arms and minds when I returned, fuck that shit. And here I was, about to tell her if she left she should never come back. I was such a hypocite.

"I am sorry for the trouble I caused your pack, Jacob Black . . . I know what you want, and I promise I wont ever return. That is. . . I'm not sure . . . I want to leave any more." Her voice startled me, I'd not expected she'd talk, and her voice was so tiny, so vulnerable, so weak. My eyebrows rose of her words and for a few moments I just stared at her as I tried to form a reply in my head. With a smug expression I shook my head and let a smile reach her. My hand rubbed her arm still and I squeezed her a tad tighter.

"You are welcome to stay as long as you want, you know that. And. . . Even if you decide to leave, just come back when you're ready." It seemed to surprise her what I said and I had to smile again. She hadn't expected any more generosity from me than what I had already given her. The realization was thick and her dried out tears swelled up again, damn, how much could this woman cry? It was starting to creep me out, I had never been very capable around crying females, they rendered me completely hopeless. Kinda why I was so reliefed Nessie never cried, I knew she could, she just never had a reason to. She nodded her head repeatedly as she hugged me back, the smile in her face was geniune and she seemed less sad now. I tilted her head up and locked my gaze with hers.

"How come you have second thoughts?" I was just curious, I had to know if it was because of what I thought it was. If she truly meant her words. I saw her face fall, but she fought to keep the smile, she wasn't surprised that I asked, just a little dissapointed I really couldn't figure it out myself, but hey. I was 99% sure I knew why, I just needed her to say it, and it seemed as if she understood when her eyes lit up and she nodded her head. Her hands moved to her stomach and she sighed. Her eyes closed for a moment, her hesitation was bearable and I waited patiently, until her burgundy eyes fround my dark brown ones, her smile bigger than I had seen it before, her answer nearly made me blush, but only nearly. She was definitely prettier when she smiled, unbelieveable beautiful and I understood how Seth could fall so deeply in love. It was how I'd always seen Bella.

"Embry desurves a happily ever after!"

**End of Chapter Seven.**

* * *

**A/N: **_Hope you enjoyed ^^ Review please :) - Jacob got dressed in between the lines somewhere btw XD_

**Boom#**


	8. Changing

**A/N: **

_Heyo! Welcome to chapter eight!_

_I am SO sorry I have taken so long with this one, and it's not even very long *shot* ^^; But life havn't been the best lately, I've been going trough a tough time and on top of the stress I encountered a very bad writers block D_D;_

_Dear Franzii; I havn't been able to get around to your PM, I am so very sorry! I hope you can forgive me, knowing that I never have forgotten you XD_

_I really hope you'll enjoy this chapter :) The title was hard coming up with, and it's only Seth and Embrys POV. I wanted Michelle (you) to move a little in the background and let you be seen trough __**their**__ eyes. They were pretty close to dying as you might remember, but this is a happy story (in a twisted way I know) so of course they don't just die XD_

_**A MILLION THANK YOU TO ALL THE REVIEWERS! **_

_**I seriously love you guys! Thank you, thank you, thank you!**_

_Enough talking! Here you go;_

* * *

**LETTING GO.**

Is Never Easy.

Seth/Reader. Embry/Reader.

**Chapter Eight:**

**Changing.**

**Seth POV.**

"I'm so sorry Seth. H-how can I ever. . ."

_Don't sweat it Miki._

The paper made a soft noise under the pressure of the pen, as I wrote the words that'd hopefully make her stop apologizing all the time. Michelle having a guilt trip on me was really the last thing I needed right now. It was hard enough I couldn't speak yet. Or not hard, really, more like annoying. At least I _would _be able to speak, sooner or later. Carlisle had assured me that much the last time he checked on me. Which was roughly two hours ago.

It'd been a clean cut, he had said. So I've been lucky, I wouldn't even have a scar once it was completely healed. Only for a few weeks, or maybe even an entire month. I didn't care. If I wanted to I could cover it up. Scarfs had been invented ages ago.

I barely remembered how it had felt when my air-pipe had been cut, just that I couldn't breath. The pain had been minimal actually. I kind of knew why anyways, you see, the real pain had been in my chest. An insane un-earthly burning flame in the pits of my heart. Even when the black curtain of unconciousness had consumed me I had felt the pain trough it. But I had desurved it, so it was a little irratating only my throat felt sore now. I wasn't the biggest masochistic out there, but I had vaguely hoped I'd suffer more, at least psyshically. Mentally it was already as bad as it could be. Almost.

I didn't remember waking up either, only that I did. I'd started to hear voices, first very distant, but then closer and closer. They'd been low, but yet so loud. Angry voices, arguing over something. My head had been hurting like crazy. A dizzy feeling spreading out trough me, making me feel sick and nauseated. And then the black had been replaced with a sudden blurry light. It's hard to explain, I didn't really see anything, but it flickered like it was moving and that made it blurry.

The voices had stopped just then, and it sounded like that, whoever it was, they stopped breathing too. Like my now barely present state was so much more important that whatever they had been discussing. I wanted to groan, but something blocked my air-pipes, even my nose felt blocked, like something had been stuffed up in my notrills. Not a nice feeling. Something grapped my hand, something very cold, but I barely had the strenght to flinch away from it and after a while it wasn't really that uncomfortable either.

One of the voices spoke again, but kinder and very soft. Like velvet and very concerned. I'd strained my ears to make sense of the words and as they became clearer I'd realized I knew exactly who this was.

"Seth. Seth can you hear me buddy?" It was Edward. Edward was here, probaly holding my hand judging from his closeness right beside me, which would explain the cold touch. It'd eased me a bit and I'd wanted to respond, but a sudden pang of pain in my throat had made me wince and I'd whimpered. Only to realize that, _damn_, that hurt too.

"It's okay Seth, I understand. Don't strain yourself, you need to rest now. Everything will be fine." Dang. I had almost forgotten that Edward was a mind-reader. I could have saved myself the pain had I realized that a little earlier. If my head just wasn't so. . . Ugh. Dizzy. It had never bugged me before that Edward could hear my thoughts, but this time I'd been really grateful. I had no idea _why_ I couldn't speak, but I'd blamed whatever it was blocking my air-pipe.

I'd then tried to remember why I'd felt that way. Why my body was so heavy and sore. But I couldn't really recall anything, even the less could I ask, not that I'd have to. Edward would already know what went trough my mind. But as he didn't answer or say anything at all for a while, I'd started to wonder just what held him back. I'd partly got _that _answered when the other voice spoke. This time it'd been so clear and so close I'd wanted to kick myself for not realizing who this was much earlier.

"He'll be okay right?" It was more soprano than Edwards, but it'd held the same amount of concern, just with a more clear egde of panic laced to it. A females voice, and not just any female. What was Michelle doing here? I'd heard Edward whisper, probaly too low for her to hear and I'd felt his breath tickle my ear. At some point I'd wanted to gag when the fresh smell of his vampiric scent hit my nose. So I'd still been able to smell, great. (That was sarcasm.)

"She was worried about you, she refused to leave, even still do. I promise I'll explain everything later. Try to sleep now, I'll make her leave."

I'd to admit that Michelle really was the last person I had expected would be there. By _my _side non the less. It could surely only mean this was not just a strange dream created by my subconscious. Or maybe I had that backwards, because _why _would she even be by me? Hadn't she decided to leave? Not just me, but Embry too? Gasp. EMBRY!

I'd felt an odd sort of panic spread out trough me, and despite all the impossibilities my breath hitched as I'd struggled to keep my heartbeat steady. It'd been thumbing so hard in my chest I'd been certain it'd leave a permanent tattoo in its wake. I'd heard Edward sigh, a little exasperated and I'd almost been able to see him run his hand over his face as he'd tried to collect himself. Wether it'd been because of my little panic tour, or it'd been something else, I really knew not, but I'd heard him mumble low, too low for me to hear. And then he'd spoken again, higher and he'd sounded just a little annoyed.

"I have told you many times it's not good for Seth that you are here. Now he is upset." As if to make his point I'd heard him tap his fingers on a hard surface of a sort, I'd known it was him because the sound was like rock against metal. And then I'd noticed something I hadn't noticed before. The violent beeping of a high pitched tune that'd moved in tact with every beat of my heart. Fast. A monitor no doubt. So that kind of explained the tubes in my nose. I'd probaly been wired up to anything possible, knowing Edward and his family, the doctor, it hadn't been that big of a surprise. They always took precautions just in case, even though I wasn't really the same kind of breakable as any normal human.

"This is my. . . fault?" Her voice broke in the end and she'd struggled to force out the last word. I'd almost been able hear the pain filled in every word and it had just been too easy to imagine the look on her face. How she must have been sitting bend over herself, crouching and probaly hugging her legs as she'd tried to hide her face between her knees. How her eyes had pricked with tears she in the end wouldn't be able to hold back. Miki could never stop crying when it first started. Ugh. It'd been torture. I hadn't liked it. Edward had to stop making her feel that way. Non of it was Mikis fault, why would he lie like that? It really hadn't been her fault, did he have a problem with her or something?

She shouldn't worry about me either. I was strong, I would make it. If he'd just tell her that. I'd wanted to tell her myself, but I couldn't. I would do like anything if she'd just stop worrying so much.

_Edward please. _I'd hoped he'd hear me, but then again why shouldn't he? Edward could just pluck my thoughts out of my head like humans plucked apples from a tree. He'd sighed again, less exasperated than before, but I could hear the undertone of annoyance. So he didn't appreciate I'd been taking her side. He was. . . Angry with her? I'd heard confirmation in form of a low hissed yes and my mind had gone blank. I hadn't been able to come up with one reason why that could be. No offence, but what had been his problem? He'd sighed again and I'd heard the soft footfalls as he'd walked around the bed, closer to the sound of Mikis breathing.

"I am sorry. Will you please stop crying? I didn't mean this was entirely your fault. . . Michelle. . . It's just. I believe Seth can hear our every word and it is very distressing for him. No doubt it's confusing enough for him just that you are here. Look. You should go home and sleep." I'd been able hear the sound of her hair whooshing trough the air as she'd shaken her head, another low strangled sob left her lips. Great. Now she was too upset to speak. The beeping from the monitor that'd kept track of my heartbeat had gone crazy again. I'd really wished I could control it, but I really, _really _hated when Miki wasn't happy and smiling and laughing. I hadn't been able to see her, but _hearing _her so sad was nearly just as bad.

Still I'd had to admit I was starting to wish she would just do as Edward had said and go home. She'd sounded like one who could need some sleep too. It was so typical Michelle, she always had to blame herself for everything, even for things that really wasn't her fault at all. Wether Edward did agree with me or not, I had known her way longer than him, but maybe he'd seen something in her mind that had formed the odd dislike he seemed to hold against her. I knew not, but there was questions I'd needed answered, questions I'd known he wouldn't explain before she was out of here.

His voice took on a new kind of tune, kinder and pleading, almost persuading as he'd leaned forward. I'd heard the rustle of his clothes as the fabric had moved against his perfectly smooth and hard skin. I could imagine how he'd placed a hand on her shoulder, to make the persuading more effective.

"Must I beg? It's getting very late. Seth needs his rest, but he is straining himself to stay concious because we're here. You can see it on the monitor, his heart respond to our words. He isn't just having a nightmare. Please. Go home and sleep. Emily and Sam will be very worried. I promise I will keep you updated, all of you."

I hadn't been sure if it worked, but I'd had another thing I wondered about now. Just _how _late was it, how many hours had passed, hours or _days?_ How freaked out would my Mom be? Leah? It'd been odd that she hadn't been there, but well okay. I'd been in a house full of vampires, I'd known because everything reeked. No matter how much I liked the Cullens, Vampire smell was just not something you ever got truly used to. And of course I knew how Leah still didn't like them, she was probaly staying put at home, worrying herself sick together with Mom. And she'd probalykick my ass as soon as I was healthy enough. Something I'd wierdly enough looked forward to rather than cringed away from. I'd guessed thinking of them just made me worry too much.

I heard a sigh again, but this time it hadn't been Edward. But it hadn't been Michelle either. A groan had followed and someone winced. Suddenly my heartbeat had excalated and the beeping drowned out every other sound that had been apparant in the room, but it hadn't just been the beeping from my monitor. Realization had hit me like a truck going way too fast on the highway. That was why she had been there! She hadn't just been there for me, she had been there in that room because. . . The sensation of odd joy had been flooding my senses and my heart had just went that much faster. There had been the responding beeping from the other monitor I hadn't realized had been there and man, if I could I would have cried.

Embry was there.

After that point the hours had passed momentarily peaceful. Embry had stayed unconcious for what I'd known of, but just knowing he was there, hearing the sound of his heartbeat and the beeping of the monitor only confirming it, knowing he _was_ _**alive**_, had been more than enough to ease me completely. At some point Edward had finally convinced Michelle to leave, not after a few phone calls from Emily or Sam though, and I had felt wierd by Edward having to leave the room every time to assure them she was on the way. The third time he made true to his words as he litterally had grapped her by the elbow - kindly I'd hoped - and had dragged her out.

I'd been able to hear the complaining trough the else thick walls, but eventually she had dissapeared down the stairs where I'd been certain one of the Cullens stood patiently - or impatiently for all I'd known - waiting to drive her home. Edward had returned slightly after, sighing again, but with relief this time and before I'd been able to think about questioning him as I had planned to, the dreaded exhaustion had finally overwhelmed me and I'd been knocked back into the black unconcious sleep.

I'd awoken what I'd believed must have been the next day, but at that point I wasn't sure of anything. I'd just been very relieved when the beeping of the monitor next to mine had proved I hadn't been alone, that hearing Embry there hadn't been a dream. Just like last night I'd tried to open my eyes. My lids had felt heavy, but they'd fluttered open after a little effort. The light had been different this time, still kind of blurry, but not artificial like the sharp light prior must have been. It came from a location to my right and I'd realized it had to come from the outsite, shining trough a window or something. So it'd really been day.

"Welcome to the world of the living Seth. You look better today, how do you feel?" It'd been unexpecting to hear Doctor Carlisles Cullens voice next to me rather than Edwards and I'd bended my head just enough so I could see him. Even he'd been blurry, but slowly as I'd narrowed my eyes and really strained myself to focus, he had become a little clearer. I could even see his smile. A smile of my own had twitched in the corners of my mouth, but as I'd tried to speak, the same pang of pain I had felt yesterday sparked in my throat and I'd winced again.

Carlisles hand had been at my shoulder at once and he'd looked pretty worried, at least in my blurry vision of him, but I hadn't been sure. He'd spoken again, and like I said, he'd even sounded worried.

"My apologies. I should have realized you wouldn't be able to speak this soon. It has been a few days since I patched up your aterias and worked over your wind-pipe. It must still hurt." I'd shrugged at his words and found out that that actually hadn't hurt as much as I had been expecting, though my body had still been roughly sore various places. I'd flexed my fingers and tried to lift my legs a bit. I hadn't been immobile, that was cool.

As the seconds passed by, my vision had gotten clearer and clearer, in the end I'd seen well enough, I'd been able to make out the shapes and forms in the room. There hadn't been much else funiture than the two beds and the cupboard holding the monitors. Yet at the far end of one of the four walls there'd been a huge bookshelf of some sort, it'd given the room an odd feling of libary rather than hospital. That had been cool with me, I'd rather wanted to pretend I had been somewhere else than a hospital anyways. Though technically it had never been a hospital since it had definitely been the Cullens place.

I'd moved my head around a bit, it had been too boring to stare at the ceiling all the time. Carlisle had still been there, but he had been at Embrys bed. Taking his pulse, removing the old bandages, replacing them with new ones. My eyes had followed his every move, he had been blocking most of my view and I had yet to actually _see _Embry, so there had still been some part inside of me all panicky about what if it was not him. Of course it had been though, who else could it have been? Or had I gone on a rampage and stumbled over innocent humans I had brought down with me as well? . . . What a silly thought. Of course not. That breathing, just the sound of it. It _had _to be Embry.

The sound of the door sliding open had me twist my head in the other direction and naturally I'd winced again when the movement brought back pain in my throat. I had to remember my throat was an important part of my neck, it was only natural it would hurt when I strained it. As I'd closed my eyes when the pain hit, Edward had moved soundless and was now beside me. Regardless how nauseating sweet _all _the scents of the vampires smelled, there was still a difference in them that made out the inviduals, so it'd been easy enough for me to guess which of them it had been.

Just like the day before he'd take my hand, not in a gooey way, he'd just hold it and I'd been oddly grateful for his presence. As I had watched the doctor work over Embry, I had wondered if he'd been awake yet, or if his wounds had been so severe there wasn't much hope he would make it out over that bed. The thought had made me cringe and I'd wished I could stop being so negative. A squeeze of my hand had brought my attention to Edwards face and I'd been relieved to see his expression hadn't been filled with the same amount of concern as yesterday. Today there was a little more hope.

"He'll be fine Seth. I told you. Everything will be fine." He'd smiled then, and I'd smiled back, finally able to despite the tubes that where stuck down my nose and throat. I'd run trough some of the most important questions in my mind, not wasting time and knowing the doctor wouldn't be surprised that Edward talked with me like I actually could answer him. The first, most important one was how many days there had really passed. Carlisle had mentioned a few, but that had been since he had fixed me, right?

"Yes. It has been exactly 4 days now since we found you in the meadow. Carlisle worked on you for almost 24 hours to stitch everything up neatly. You had already started to heal, but the most of your important veins were disconnected. You were lucky it had been a clean cut. That was Carlisles exact words actually." He'd smiled again, adding the part with Carlisle like he himself had no idea about medical stuff, but I'd known that hadn't been true. Edward was like. . . All-knowing. He'd laughed of my thoughts and I'd choked out a half laughter myself, but had to bite it back just after.

"Thank you, but I don't know _everything_. I do know the answers to your other questions though. You don't have to repeat them." Of course I didn't. Wasn't a vampire mind like the mind of an Elephant? They never forgot anything either right? He'd chuckled again, but nodded his head in agreement and squeezed my hand in a soft way again. There had been even less concern in his face now, maybe because I'd been able to joke he figured I'd definitely be alright. Despite that is what he had been telling me from the start, maybe he hadn't believed his own words, or maybe he just hated seeing me in pain. He'd nodded again and his face grew more serious.

"Yes of course. It was. . . very reckless of you, both of you, what you did. I can't say I fully understand, but in ways I do understand it too well. I wont scold you, since I know your mother have enough of that when you're healthy enough to go home." Ugh. Dang. But of course, I'd already known that much. Mom was worrying herself sick, and it was all my fault. Even though Edward had said "both of you" it was still entirely my fault. I'd seen Edward shake is head, but I'd ignored it, he could say what he wanted, it _was_ my fault. If Edward truly understood the principles of imprinting he'd know that as soon as Embry imprinted on Michelle, I should just have backed off completely. I shouldn't have snapped and I shouldn't have left to find him. He had been waiting for me I remembered, but if I hadn't been the one to seek him out this wouldn't have happened.

"You want to know why I believe Embry will make it too? He has not opened his eyes yet like you, though his wounds isn't as severe as yours, but heis. . . Dreaming, I guess you could call it. It is thoughts and images, all mixed together, but they more or less focus on one person. Michelle." Yes of course. Michelle. She was alive, she was healthy and sound. Maybe heart crushed, but she was _still here._ Though I couldn't be sure of it, he must have heard her too, even in an unconsious state it was possible to hear voices right? Or feel the presences of someone very important? I just knew that as long as she existed there was no way Embry would just let himself die without fighting. Edward was right, he would make it.

I'd sighed in relief and closed my eyes again. No matter how happy and relieved I _did _feel, I'd still felt oddly sad. No it wasn't odd. Of course I was sad. I loved Michelle too. Much more than I should, and some part of me still wished she would pick me despite anything. It was sick, but true and I couldn't help it. I just had to develop this stronger sense of what was right and wrong, because I _knew _how wrong it was to want the girl that wasn't yours. I had been in this pack for a very long time now. Embry was my brother, my friend. He was family. He desurved happiness just as much as I did. And mine was out there. Could be she wasn't born yet, but she was definitely out there.

She just wasn't and never would be Miki.

Edward had answered the restof my questions then and he had been nice enough to keep his opinions of my self-sacrificing thoughts to himself. I'd been very grateful for that. So after he'd left I sat alone in my bed, looking at Embry. Both Edward and Carlisle had left around the same time, Carlisle had asked me to call - but he'd soon corrected it to making a loud sound or banging of a sort, it was fun how he kept forgetting I couldn't speak - if Embry made any sign to wake up. That had been what I would be waiting for, a sign. So far he'd only breathed. He hadn't been wired up as much as me, there was the IV and the strings to the monitor. His heartbeat had been more even and low, but his eyes had still been closed.

As I'd examined him from a distance, I could barely make out faint scars from our fight. There was a few, but they already looked weeks old. He was covered to the waist, so I had only been able to see a bit of the bandages wrapped around him. I'd felt so bad whenever my eyes found the approximate place under all his cover where I'd known a huge scar must be. After all I would probaly never be able to forget how I had grapped a huge pole with my last strenght and pierced it right trough his middle. I'd winced at the thought. I'd have to stop doing this to myself. Tormenting myself didn't help the situation.

I'd sighed again as I'd closed my eyes and leaned back, focusing on the last conversation I'd had with Edward instead, on all the information I had given him. Going over the exact questions and the exact answers. From beginning to end.

_Why is Michelle still here? _- Because she had second thoughts.

Second thoughts. Edward had explained to details what he knew. After they had found us in the meadow and brought us here, Jacob had left for Emilys place. He had found Michelle there and he'd talked to her. Apparantly up till that point she had still been dertermined it would be best for all parts if she left and she had written a letter she would leave behind. Edward had read the words in Jacobs mind as he returned, he had told me it had been all Jacob had been thinking of for a while. I hadn't wanted to hear the exact words, so he'd spared me from it. Tt would just be too painful, so instead he'd went on with what I really wanted to know. Like how she had these second thoughts, because she had realized what she really wanted.

Us both, happy.

I had sighed then, because of the naivity that was so like her. Of course she wanted us both happy, but she couldn't really split herself in half so we could share her. It shouldn't be necessarry. Michelle belonged with Embry, they were perfect for each other, and he was the only one in the world that would be able to make her _truly_ happy. Even I could admit that. Regardless how much it hurt.

I'd moved on to the next question as soon as I could, I knew there was more Edward hadn't told me about her "second thoughts", I'd seen it in his face, but I could guess the rest. I still remembered the conversation with Leah, where I had lost my self-control and she'd kicked me across the lane. Because of the information she had given me. I could still feel the anger, but it wasn't as dominating as it had been once, back then. The moments she had had with Embry, there was no doubt in my mind they had a lot to do with her second thoughts. It didn't matter and I wouldn't let myself think more about it.

_How bad with Mom and Leah? _I had thought then and Edward had actually smiled, a bit sympathy mixed in with amusement. I grimaced.

_That bad? _And he'd laughed.

The questions after that hadn't been as important as these main ones. I had asked a little about the rest of the pack. Sam and Emily, about the rest of the Cullens. They were just as much my friends as my pack was, so I wanted to know how they felt about this. I hadn't been surprised to know Esme had my back, and Carlisle. Edward too of course, we had both laughed a bit of that. It was just natural for the two of us. Bella wasn't really supportive to any, but she was very understanding towards me. And much to my surprise so was Jacob. Even though he was beyond happy now, having Renesmee and all, he still remembered how it had been when he loved Bella, but couldn't have her. So even though Embry was his best friend, he understood my position enough to not really pity me, but support me instead.

That was odd, but not unwelcome. And anyways, Jacob had already had his happy ending. His decision definitely had something to do with the fact that he knew mine wouldn't end the same way. Michelle wasn't going to be pregnant with another Renesmee I could imprint on. It's not what I wanted either. I wanted _her_. But I couldn't have her. It was as simple as that, and I had to live with it.

I'd opened my eyes again when I'd heard a sound come from outsite the door. My lids felt heavy again and my head a little groggy. I'd realized I had fallen asleep, but I'd probaly only been out for a few moments, maybe half an hour max. The nub on the door turned and I'd strained my ears to hear just who it was. I already knew it wasn't one of the Cullens, they moved completely soundless, I wouldn't have realized they were there before the door was already open, so this was definitive a human. Oh no. Please let it be Leah, or Emily. Or anyone, just not. . . The door went up and I'd groaned mentally. Michelle. Of course.

I'd noticed she had been carrying a small bag in her right hand as she came further into the room, she hadn't seen me yet as she focused on closing the door after her, but then as she turned around and catched my eyes, she froze on the spot and dropped whatever she had been holding. Her silent gasp was louder than any scream to me and I'd forced myself to smile a bit. Under other circumstances I would have been dying to see her, but knowing she no longer wanted me alone, I just couldn't tame the violent pain that wrenched my heart.

"Seth!" Her eyes were wide and worry mixed in with relief filled her face as she rushed to my side, her hand reaching out for me, but she stopped herself just in time and her eyes averted from mine. I'd felt a pang of guilt for not have being wanting to see her, she looked absolutely hideous, probaly because of me and Embry. No not probaly, it was _definitely _because of us. Her hand fell slowly and she began to take it back, but I grasped it before it fell to her side and her surprised gaze met mine. It'd been easier to smile then, though I'd felt a little nervous and sad, I knew better than to show her. So I'd blown her a grin, loving how her face lit up more and eventually the tears run down her cheeks and she wiped them away with her free hand.

_Hey Miki._ My greeting was silent and I'd grapped her chin and lifted her face to meet mine again. But I was good and kept the distance, no matter how much I'd wanted to kiss her, I knew it would just make it harder and more complicated than it already was. I'd still smiled and as she returned it, I'd reached for the pen and paper Edward had left for me. He had probaly known this moment would come and it was cool to have a way to communicate. I'd moved the pen over the paper, forming the same words I had just thought before I held the sheet up, watching her read it and I'd been absolutely delighted when she laughed a bit. Just at the end of "Hey Miki" I had added; _I hope you feel better than you look._

She'd rubbed the remaining tears away before she responded, she seemed to have gotten the worst out and already then she looked a tad better than she had when she came in trough the door. Maybe because she hadn't stopped smiling and I liked that.

"Do I really look that horrible?" I'd made a face before I chuckled low, ignoring the burning in my air-pipe and short after she'd joined me, shrugging then as she mouted a low 'I guess I do'.

We had chatted casually for a bit, or well she did the chatting and I'd abused the sheets of papers I had to my disposal. Not that it made much difference, it just gave me a little time to really think over the words before I jutted them down and handed her the sheet. At some point the whole conversation took a turn and not really for the better. Now and then her eyes would drift to Embry, where he laid completely motionless in his bed and instead of looking guilty and sad, like how she looked the most of the time looking at me, there was this certain tint of longing in her eyes. Her lips would part a bit, a sigh would slip out and she would drift off into more distant thoughts. It was even worse to watch her look at him like that than it was to accept the endless sadness she expressed towards me.

She would end up gasping and look back at me, with a pathetic look of guilt, but I would shrug it off and pretend like it didn't touch me at all. Of course it did. It was torture knowing the biggest part of her already had moved on to him. That with time she would forget what we'd had. I shouldn't feel miserable about it, I really shouldn't. But I couldn't help it. And then just to make it even worse she'd started to apologize out of thin air, bombading me with how sorry she was and how horrible and jab, jab, jab. She just wouldn't stop again.

So now we're back to the beginning. I just finished writing my sentence and handed it to her, hoping she would keep it down. She really shouldn't sweat it. I felt bad enough as it was and I would rather we could pretend being the best friends ever just like it had been before we moved unto the more intimiate areas. She seemed to understand, though she still looked as sad about it as she'd done since she arrived. I sighed with exasperation and jutted down a few more words, it was tiring that I had to reassure her this much.

_I'm fine. Really. What shall I do to convince you? Jump out of bed and dance Levan Polka?_ Once again my messy handwritten words made her laugh, this time a little louder and a little more true as she shook her head and clutched to the paper. I smiled at the sight, feeling good about it. This was how I wanted it, to just see her smile and laugh and have a good time, despite how awful I really felt on the inside. I loved her enough to let her go. I knew I did. But if I loved her enough to be able to stick around when she and Embry started to. . . Well, I'd know when that time came. Because the time would definitely come.

"We both know Levan Polka is a song and not a dance Seth." She spoke out between muffled giggles, and I swooned in the sweet musical sound, yanked the paper back and wrote some more, handed it back and shrugged when she looked at me again, watching her roll her eyes. Yes. This was definitely better, I could already feel the pain decreasing. It wouldnt dissapear, I wasn't as optimistic to believe it would, but if I could keep it down like this, could I then ask for more?

"Whatever." She said and laughed a bit again. I realized that it was much easier to watch her being happy than when she was sad and depressed. Somehow I had to make her understand that we could _still _be friends, so that she wouldn't start to look at me with the same sad, guilty eyes e_verytime _she saw me. I would really hate that. Iwasn't Leah, I wouldn't blame her for my misery, just like I wouldn't blame Embry. I was just so relieved he was okay. When he'd sliced my throat, I for a second there had lost all hope, and with that I lost all will to live. The only thing I could think about back then in that situation was taking him with me. If I had to die, so did he.

Now I knew how stupid a thought that had been, if I had just let him finish me, I could have saved myself for this misery. No. Ugh. What am I thinking? Embry shouldn't have to live with such guilt for the rest of his life. I would rather live with this pain than- Abruptly my silent debate with myself was cut off as Embrys monitor started into an insane beeping. Miki was frozen beside me as both our eyes flashed to him. He was still motionless in the bed, but in the way the beeping sounded, loud and frantic, like a panicked rythm, there had to be something wrong.

Suddenly his back ached, lifting him a good ten inches off the bed in the middle of his back, his hands were fists at his sides and his brows squinted. A few seconds after the beeping reduced and he fell back to the bed with a thud. My own heart raced, though not as fast as his had, but definitely faster than Embrys did now and it kept falling. For a moment there I had absolutely no idea what was going on and by the look of her, neither did Michelle. Our eyes met for a short moment and I was sure the expression on my face was an echo of her own confused horror.

My eyes returned to Embry as quickly I could allow. It was like nothing had happened at all. He didn't move at all and his before clenched hands were now as lax and unwined as they had been before. I considered wether to call for Edward or Carlisle when I realized I could do neither. Dang it, but maybe I was lucky enough that Edward was close and could hear my thoughts? No. Or he would have been here already. I grapped for my paper, I would make Miki go get someone, I just had to ask her, but then she gasped and I dropped the pen.

"Embry!" It had been the same sound of relief she had used when she came into the room and saw me, yet back then her voice hadn't been filled with so much hope, so much. . . devotion. Ugh. I didn't get it. I really didn't. She'd known me for. . . How long? Half her life? Probaly longer and it wasn't even a week ago since she told me she loved me. Before I could control it my temper spiked and my hands started to tremble. She didn't notice of course as she was already bolting from her seat and rushing over to Embrys bed.

I had known this much. Maybe I had wished she wouldn't be here when this happened, maybe that had been why I felt so exasperated when she'd opened that door and I saw her for the first time in four days. No matter how many maybe's I ran trough my head, it was not going to change anything, so I could as well safe myself the effort. It was just not that easy to control the anger already pumping in my veins, making me see red for a moment there. The wall crunched and broke when I punched it, not caring for breaking anything right now, not caring about wether it startled Michelle or not. I couldn't use my voice, so I had to find another way to express my discomfort, it just had the effect that both Carlisle and Edward came rushing into the room, trailed by Alice and Bella.

"Seth?" Edwards eyes ran over my form once before they settled on my face. Carlisle had already moved around him and was now by Embrys bed just like Miki. Bella and Alice stayed close to Edward though, by me. His eyes followed mine as I looked in the same way the other Cullens did. All I saw was the back of Carlisle and Michelle, I couldn't see Embry, but I was pretty sure I didn't want to either. Not now at least. I looked away again and I felt Edwards cold hand on my shoulder. With little effort I looked up, I didn't even move my head who hang a bit now, just my eyes and I was sure they were as empty as I felt.

"Seth. . ." He spoke my name again, this time in a sad sigh and he looked like he had more to say, but just then my hands started to tremble again and I shook my head furiously. _Don't start. _I couldn't growl, but I was sure my mental voice expressed my teeth clenching agony well enough. Of course this wasn't fair to him, he was genuinely worried about me, I knew that without being a mindreader. I liked Edward a lot, he was friendly and it'd been so cool the first time I had fought alongside him. It was a time I never would forget and I tried to make myself think on exactly how it had been, just to focus on something less _**now**_, something less painful.

"Embry, can you hear me?" It was Carlisle who spoke, his voice was as professional as it could be when he was examing his patients and part of me felt really great about that he never spoke to me like that, even though I was injured. I was not a patient to him, I was family. I should just hold on to that. No matter how miserable and alone I felt, I would never be truly alone. I had my friends and I had my family. And even Miki could be part of that, no matter what happened. It would never be the same, true, but I wasn't going to waste what I had used years to build up. I wasn't my sister, I wasn't bitter. Sorry Leah, but I was going to set a good example, suck it up and be brave.

Edward squeezed my shoulder and when I looked up he smiled to me. I tried to smile back and not focus on what went on in the other side of the room anymore. Bella came to my other side and sat down, for a moment I wondered where Renesmee was, but then I figured she was either downstairs with Rosalie and the others, or in the small Cottage in the woods. Or with Jacob. Edward nodded to me and sat down on the chair beside where he stood. I met Alices gaze for a moment and then she nodded once and left, closing the door behind her.

I closed my eyes and started to chant the Levan Polka inside my head, anything to keep me busy. It made it easier.

And then Edward chuckled low.

**Embry POV.**

As feathery the feeling of the invinsible cloud-like blankets I was covered in felt, I knew this wasn't real, that I, somehow, was dreaming. A very empty, black and mind numbing dream. There was nothing here than _touch. _I could only feel, not see, not hear, not scent, not speak and not taste. _Only feel._

Slowly and veryunprecise a soft dimming whiteness fell in over me in my blind state, just around the egdes at first, but soon colours joined and an image flashed. It was familiar, a face. Not just any face, a face that had been hunting me since the first time I'd laid my eyes on it. The face of a person, a girl I'd never be able to forget, no matter how hard I tried. And it was simple, because I didn't want to either. She was smiling to me, cute dimples showing and her teeth flashed white. Her deep burgundy eyes glimmered with love and her soft dark hair fell over her shoulders in wavy curls. I wanted to smile back, but I couldn't. She was so unbelieveable beautiful and I found how my other senses slowly returned.

Suddenly I could smell her, the strong yet sweet scent of wild cherries greeted my sensitive nose as a soft breeze flew by her and let it to me. Now it wasn't just her face, but her body, lithe and absolutely perfect. The narrow bare shoulders, the long slender legs, the well formed curves of a goddess. She wore a white summer dress with dusty pink petals spread in a random pattern across the fabric, it looked soft, cotton. The light colour was complimenting her tanned soft skin and for a moment I could swear she was glowing golden in the dim light surrounding her.

A sigh fell from my lips, my chest were slightly swollen, my heart skipping uneven beats and suddenly I could smile. I could imagine how goofy I looked, dazed, because that was how I felt. My sheepish smile only grew when her musical laughter danced from her lips and around me. I tried to reach out, to grap her, wanting to hold her close, hear her speak my name or just touch me, but then she started to fade. Horror filled me as she got more and more transculent until she was so see-trough she looked like a ghost.

And then she was gone.

My heart wrenched instantly, the stabs of pain shooting trough me, I stood there, on legs I couldn't feel and waited for the pain to dissapear, just like she had. But it didn't stop, in fact it got worse. I tried to lift my hands to press against my chest, in a weak attempt to press the stabbing pain back, as if I could grap it and yank it from me, but I had no arms to move and vaguely I realized I missed all my limps. The only thing I had left was my torso and my head. Suddenly I wished the darkness would swoop back over me and swallow me raw, because the pain that had started in my heart was now located only one place; My stomach area. It was so agonizing horrible I felt like being stroken by thunder over and over.

I had no way to find out what was wrong, all I could do was scream, until I realized no sound came out. All my senses where gone again just as fast as they came, but I could still.. feel... I tried to shake my head, my mouth opening again and again in soundless cries and screams. The worst part was the sudden bolt that ended it all, and then I was numb.

The scenery changed again as the black was replaced with a blinding light. Just when I had opened my eyes I couldn't recall, until I realized this wasn't real. How could it be when everything I saw was so clear? I was staring straight into the sky, an unfamiliar sky. There was no clouds as far as my eyes could reach, only the perfect blue with the sun right in the middle. The grass was soft under my hands, moist but fresh and the looked so alluring, beaming with life. I looked around. I was in a clear area, no trees for miles, just an unendless field filled with blooming flowers in all the rainbow colours.

Far, far down, barely illuminated in the sharp shine of the warm sun, there was a gate. It was pure gold and stretched far into the sky. I didn't feel myself raise from the ground, I only knew I was walking because the green and the flowers passed me as I went. Even though everything looked the same, I only got closer and closer to the impressive gold of the iron gate. I was so close I could almost touch it when it suddenly opened. There was no sound, only the same silence, there wasn't even a breeze.

An airy cloud of scentless smoke swept out over the field as the gate slowly went up, it hadn't even opened all the way when I moved again, but this time I backed away. Something about this seemed wrong. How could here be so quiet? My first thought had been that I was dead, that I had found my way to heaven, but wasnt heaven supposed to be perfect? There was nothing perfect about this place. It _looked _perfect, but it missed the most important thing, despite how lively and pure everything looked; It missed life. Was that really how it was? That in dead everything was dead? I couldn't believe it. But even if this _was _heaven, I couldn't just up and leave yet. I couldn't die. I simply couldn't. There was so much I still had to live for, even if it did all seem endless and impossible. _She _was still alive and as long as she was alive, I would stay alive.

As soon as I realized, everything dissapeared, but the blackness that swept over me this time wasn't exactly the same. It didn't steal my senses, I could still breathe, scent, hear, taste and feel. It was only the seeing that came hard, since there was nothing to see, just unendless black. The pain came suddenly and unexpected. I felt my back ache automatically and my hands clenched into fists at my side. It was overwhelming and I couldn't help but wince, though no sound came out.

A loud ringing sound, more like beeping filled the empty space all around me. For a while it was all I could hear, alwhile I struggled to cry out in my uncomfortable state. And then it was gone. Just as soon as it came the pain was just gone. Quiet relief settled in my body as my heartbeat slowed, it wasn't until now I noticed how fast it was beating and in tact with the beeping. It didn't seem important and slipped my mind easily enough, because there was something else that catched my attention.

I wasn't alone in this black pit. I could hear breathing, besides my own. Low, but it was definitely close. The same beeping I had heard before reached my ears again, this time doubled up and the one was going faster than the other. Just where was I, and what was this? At once I could feel every muscle in my body. I could feel my sore legs, my swollen arms and this unbelieveable burning in my midsection, in my stomach. I could feel my eyelids, heavy and definitely closed. I concentrated on them, willing them silently to open. After a few tries they did and I closed them again immediately as the light hit and it stung. After a few seconds I tried again, this time slower and I blinked a lot, but I started to get more used to the light even though it shone me right in the face. It was warm and despite my sore limps and the pain in my stomach, I felt alive.

A gasp tore trough the silence, just as I could make out the first shapes as I stared straight up, realizing I was laying down, on something soft. Probaly a bed if I wasn't mistaken. I wanted to turn my head, but I couldn't find the strenght to move any part beside my eyelids, I couldn't even move my lips or my tounge. The same voice that had gasped spoke my name, it was filled with so many emotions, the more dominant ones was definitely hope and relief, but a soft tingle ran down my spine as I realized the devotion laced in that single word. Not just a word. It was _my name._

Then everything became blurry again and I closed my eyes not to strain them. I felt a hand on mine, a soft warm hand and I heard a distant sound, like crunching. No like something hitting something hard. I didn't worry too much about it, because this hand on mine occupied me completely. In a flash I could hear something open, the sound of a door, it was sweeping and quirking almost soundlessly, just the way the gate in my vision should have sounded. Soft footfalls told me more people had come and I felt another presence beside me in the same instant the hand left mine.

_No._ I wanted to say. I wanted to yell at the other person that had made the first person remove her hand. I knew it was a her, the feeling had been so soft, the form delicate and much, much smaller than mine. It could only have been a females hand. My heartbeat rose again. Maybe it was _her!_ I tried to recall the voice again. From when she gasped and spoke my name, but I could barely focus on it before the other person spoke. A male, his voice oddly beautiful for a man, but it sounded unfamiliar in a a proffessional way, yet I knew this voice very well. It could only be that leech. Doctor Carlisle Cullen.

The sweet scent so close inwaded my nose and I nearly gagged. So I was in the bloodsuckers house, that explained the beeping. No doubt I was monitored or something. There was much I didn't know about the doctor, but I had been there when he took care of Jacob, he had nearly brought half his hospital with him just to examine Jake when he'd broken the most of his bones in his left site. It had been insane, expecially how it took up the place in Billys small house. Of course it didn't help we had been seven full grown shapeshifters in there either.

He asked me something, but I couldn't answer, I didn't really want to answer him either, but I couldn't just pretend like I hadn't heard him, so with a little effort I opened my eyes again and this time I found I could look around. Even though everything still was partly blurry. At once he covered my vision and by his expression he looked genuinely pleased. I wasn't really sure, but I guess he saw something in the way I starred at him - not something I could guess without a hint - but something.

He pulled out some medical instruments I didn't knew the names for and started to examine me. Looked into my eyes with some flashlight, which actually made me flinch a bit, so he apologized and took my pulse instead. He asked me a few more things, like how I was feeling or how many fingers he held up. I felt like a kindergarten kid getting the regular treatment once a week. He was really into his job, huh. But I guess I should just be grateful and let him, even though I still refused to answer him; I just didn't feel like speaking at all.

I vaguely remembered what had brought me in my current condition, I knew it involved Seth and. . . My heart suddenly just went beserk as I started to take deeper more heavy loaded breaths, constantly reminding myself to exhale too. It wasnt just because I was just about to think her name, but my mind was focused on the images I had had in my mind just before waking. When I'd seen her in my dreamlike state, when she'd dissapeared, the horror I had felt and then the meadow with the flowers and big golden gate I'd been in short after. The silent heaven like place. I shuddered.

What had brought me out of that had been her, when I had realized she was the most important thing to me, _even _in death. And then there was this moment now. Just before, when the kind hand had been holding mine, a _females hand, _she'd been the one who came to my mind. Naturally. My hand still tingled where she'd touched. Ugh, even trough the horrible vampire stench I was certain I could scent her - too easy to recognize - wild cherry eaudor. Never in my life had I stumbled upon any female with such a seductive scent. And it wasn't just all shampoo, it rooted deeper. She could use peach scented soap for all I cared, her eaudor would still be mindblowing and overwhelming. I focused on that scent alone.

And I could smell it now, right beside me.

If possible my heart beat just increased, the beeping on the monitor went wild and I heard the gasp that made my head snap to my right side. And when I saw her, oh, when I _saw _her; Her hand half stretched out, reaching for me, her eyes filled with mild panic as she stared at the monitor for a brief second and as they returned to me, when our gazes locked, time just stopped.

A million thoughts ran trough my head at the same time, it was mildly impossible to focus on one at a time. Most of these thoughts were sprouting from my confusement, questions I couldn't help came all at once, but the relief behind them all, the relief that flooded trough me was so strong it knocked everything out of the way in the end. And I allowed myself to think the words over and over, chanting them like a mantra in my head;

_She is still here, she is still here, she is still . . ._

It didn't stop before her hand - the same she'd been reaching out towards me with, until now - flew to her mouth and she sounded like she choked on another gasp. Hot tears swelled in her eyes and soft panic cut in the egdes of my heart as I watched how they spilled. My forehead creased in worry for a moment, but then she shocked me as she laughed. My heart stopped.

She flung herself at me with such fevor I'd never expected from her, expecially not after what I had done to her. The pain of the sweet memory filled me, the pain of the realizations afterwards, of her crying back then, of her decision. Yet I had to repeat the same words I'd chanted just moments before; _She was still here._ _And she is hugging me!_

I was so happy. No, I was beyond happy. I couldn't think of a moment more perfect than this. Regardless of the pain still throbbing in my midsection, the sore spots on my arms and legs. It was nothing. Her presence was unmatchable and more important to me than anything else could ever possible be. Nothing else mattered. So when she started to pull away I felt devastated, my heart skipped painfully and I felt a whimper build in my throat, but that was also when I noticed - as she blushed a few shades and started to look obviously self-concious - that we wasn't alone.

My eyes didn't leave her form before I catched a movement to my left and I watched the leech doctor move to the end of the bed I was perched upon. A smile on his face though he mostly looked like someone who wanted to clear his throat. Great, my already fragile tolerance towards the bloodsuckers was running low. Not only were they now the reason why my. . . My _Miki,_ felt flustered, but it had ruined the moment.

A laughing voice sounded - definitely **not** a response to my hostile thoughts, not one expected - came from my left, from right behind Michelle and instantanously my eyes fell on Edward, but they didn't linger even half a second when I saw the figure beside him on the other bed in the room, peaceful and quiet with closed eyes.

"Seth. . ." His name left my lips in a hoarse whisper, this was why I had refused to speak, my tounge was completely dry. But upon seeing him an odd wave of reluctance and melancholy washed in over me, not to mention the piercing memories. Agony speared me and I shut my eyes as I grapped my head, flinching back from the far too vivid images flashing before my minds eye. It was horrible, it felt like it'd just been yesterday I had all but ripped his throat out in my anger and hatred. (I couldn't even be certain it hadn't been just yesterday, but I was pretty sure I'd been out for a while.) I'd been blinded, completely blinded. A monster.

I winced again as one of my hands moved and found the spot I'd been deadly wounded myself. I couldn't even hate him for it, there was nothing there even close to _wanting _to, but I could hate myself. Regardless of my reason, there was just no way I could ever justify what I had done, what I had _almost _done. Michelles hand found my still raised arm and I opened my eyes at once, finding hers. The concern in her face equalled the sad understanding, but it felt like there missed an emotion, an emotion that felt necesarry, almost important;

There was no blame.

Despite the shock of the realization that she'd apparantly forgiven me (again) for being so horrendous, the contact of her skin on mine eased some of the pain and I was able to sigh as I let my arms fall and took a few deep breaths. As soon as I had recovered - reliefed she held my hand now - I looked back to Seth, he was facing me now, unexplainable emotions crossing his face until it settled on discomfort and sadness. His eyes averted again, for just a moment, and I was surprised when his eyes locked with mine again and he _smiled._ He had only needed the half second to wheel his emotions in and pretend like nothing had happened between us. My stomach turned, but not in nauseation; It turned in guilt.

How could he be so much stronger than me? Iwould probaly never find out, but it just made me feel so much more terrible with myself. There was no way in the world I would give Miki up - unless she wanted me to, _really_ wanted me to - but he had done nothing wrong either. I couldn't blame Seth anymore, couldn't blame him for falling in love with her (it was understandable, hell, she was the most perfect girl I'd ever met), couldn't blame him for wanting to keep her, couldn't blame him for fighting for her. Neither of us had really started this. It had just been uninventable.

He was a good kid. He had always been a good kid, hell I should know, not just me, but the rest of the pack too. Even Edward Cullen knew. Everyone who could share his mind would know just how pure hearted, kind and _modest _that kid was. More than that, you could always trust him, he was never half hearted about anything. He either liked something, and I mean really _like_ or he just absolutely hated it, but he never judged anyone. Like back then with the Cullens. Just like the rest of us, Seth had disliked the Vampires, but as soon as he got to know Edward Cullen, it'd been abruptly replaced with pure adoration of the kind that competed head on with the same adoration he had always had towards Jacob. And soon enough Seth found a soft spot for every single one of the leeches, even that sour looking blond what-was-her-name?

I knew all this and I knew why he'd wiped the sadness, the betrayal and all the other heart wrenching emotions from his face before I could really get to see them, I knew why he smiled at me. Because. . . He rather wanted to suffer alone than having me suffer with him. He was trying his everything to make me forget the resentment, so that we could go back to how it was. Even with Miki there. Even if it meant he had to give up, he was already prepared for that. No. He had already given up, at least he had already decided to.

Suddenly I felt anger build up as my blood began pumping trough my veins. The rage was hot and tingled on my skin, I pulled my hand away from Michelles instantly in order not to accidently clench my fists and break her fingers, I would never be able to forgive myself. But right now I couldn't forgive Seth. I couldn't forgive him for smiling at me like that, couldn't forgive him for just giving up, trowing everything away, trowing Michelle away. I knew my logic might be twisted and stupid, but it seriously pissed me off he had to be the typical two-goody-shoe who throtted trough painful experiences while he pretends and pictures everything will be great in the end.

Maybe it was just because of who he was or maybe it was all because of his sister. It was not a lie to say Seth had to be the exact opposite of Leah. It was like they had grown up in a different home altogether, if not their difference was because he knew her better than anyone else and didn't wish, from the bottom of his heart, to end up like her. Not to make her mistakes. I groaned as I tried to control the trembling that had started just moments ago, the heat was still washing over me in waves, but I was better at my selfcontrol than Paul at least. _Everyone _was better than Paul on that area.

When I was sure I weren't about to snap and launch trough the room at him, I reopened my eyes, not even remembering that I closed them and took long steady breaths - as steady as I could manage. I kept my eyes low, staring at everything else than people, I stared at the carpeted floor, the light brown colour mixed in with darker spots was oddly pretty, I'd give them that much, the Cullens had taste. Somehow in the midst of my concentration I remembered Quil and with Quil I remembered Jacob. I wasn't really bothered that they weren't here, it was pretty light outsite, around midday or so, they were probaly in the middle of other activities. It could be as it was, I could still hear the steady breathing of my imprint and it was soothing, enough that my tember decreased until it was completely replaced with an odd calm.

I took the chance and looked up again, meeting Seths gaze for the second time, his smile hadn't changed much, for all that mattered it was purer, like he'd used my weakness to perfect his little pretence. I was prepared for new anger to wash trough me, but it never came. My eyebrows squinted then as my forhead creased and I groaned in annoyance, shaking my head a bit from site to site. My hand moved by itself until I found the soft smaller one of Mikis that met me half way, right away I twined our fingers and sighed deep, feeling my still dry tounge in my mouth and tried to wet it enough to speak. It wasn't painful, just damn irratating. When my voice finally came out, I stopped mid-letter and cleared my throat, before trying again.

"Gee, Seth. Did the near death experience kill your brain cells or are you really that happy to see me?" I tried to keep my tone joking, but I realized it was harder than it looked and in the end my words came out harsher than I'd planned. It didn't seem to bother him much as he apparantly had found it funny anyways, or he just had very bad humor. Yet his low laughter - mixed with the hoarse throaty sound, whining and higher than his usual sopran - made my heart skip, it was good to hear again and I smiled a bit even. I was surprised that he instead of answering grapped a piece of paper and a pen and started to jut down letters and words. As soon as he was done, he moved to the end of his bed, trew his feets out, tested the floor and his balance, before he jumped lightly to his feet and wobbled over towards me. I noticed he took a rather wide berth around Michelle before he handed me the paper, still grinning widely.

I had no idea why I felt so wary, maybe it was the sudden spark in his eyes that made me take precautions as I hesitantly, and very slow might I add, reached out and slid the paper with a quick yank towards myself, my eyes never leaving his form all the while. I noticed Miki stretch her neck as to see what he'd written and per automatic I lowered the paper to make it easier for her, not really thinking about if Seth would mind it or not, it just felt so natural to let her have her way, no matter what she wanted. I wasn't even grossed out by the thoughts of obeying her tiniest wink, no rather; It made me oddly excited.

The words written across the paper in a skewed line in Seths messy handwriting had me ache a brow in disbelief as I ran my eyes over the same words again and again, not quite sure if I could compeherend what he meant. I even turned the paper on the head and around against the light, it was still the same nonsense and I found myself unable to decipher his gibberish no matter how much I tried. Beside me Michelle giggled, a sound that made me oddly tingly, but I tried to ignore it for now even though I most of all wanted to sigh in contentment and have her laugh some more. The sound was pure music. I almost shook my head to focus as I stared harder on the words, hoping that miraculously they'd move around by themself and make sense. They never did. Even Seth chuckled low now and I noticed they had almost the same expression as they shared a look. Pfft, so Miki was in on it, well thanks for including me.

It wasn't just Seth and Michelle though, Edward Cullen who'd heard all our thoughts seemed to find this amusing and joined in their low muffled laughter gig, just great. In times like this I wished I was a mindreader. The more I stared at the words, the more they seemed to glare back at me, so in order to get an answer one way or another, I spoke out the sentence in my own confused question, staring strict at Seth with a frown building on my face.

"_I wish. At least I got my Cs and my GLs?_" When he nodded and made no other move to explain himself I wanted to punch him, a vein popping out on my forehead and I took another deep breath to calm myself. Before I could ask again though, Michelles beautiful voice gave me just what I needed, but I found that even that didn't make me understand.

"Charms and Good Looks." She laughed a bit as she spoke and I stared at her, blinking a few times repeating the words in my head. Charms and Good Looks. If he'd lost his brain cells, how could charm and good looks then matter? - They were still laughing and I seriously felt like an idiot for not understanding, even Bella and the leech doctor laughed with them. Gee. I frowned and balled the paper up and trew it across the room. With a thud it hit the wall before it fell down and I humphed. I had to admit the atmosphere was definitely better and it was nice to see Seth laugh without it looking strained. And Michelle. Just the fact she looked so happy - still holding my hand - was all I needed and in the end I couldn't help smiling myself as I laughed along with them.

They were idiots, but it felt really good.

**End of Chapter Eight.**

**A/N: **_Thanks for reading Chapter Eight of _**Letting Go.**_ I know it was rather short this time, but I just entered this stupid phase of writers block, as I mentioned. I tried to wait it out, but nothing came D: Hope you enjoyed this though :) Please leave a review and make my day!_

**Boom#**


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